Month: November 2014

Mithuth Thmith(favorite joke)

The crowds had been packing the traveling “tent revival”  every night that week, grateful offerings filling the pockets of the evangelist.  Cure after cure was enacted in the sweltering heat of those July evenings.  Emotions were at an all time high on the last night as the last two afflicted souls reached the evangelist at the front of the tent..

Struggling up the steps on her crutches poor Mrs. Smith hobbled up to the evangelist.  “Heal me!  I haven’t been able to walk without crutches in twenty years.”

“Yes, Sister!  You will be healed!  Go behind that curtain and wait with the others waiting for healing.”  Mrs. Smith slowly and painfully made her way behind the curtain.

Johnny Jones was the last in line.  “I have a lifth.  It hath made my life awful.  Pleath heal me of my lifth!”

“Yes, Brother!  You will be healed!  Go behind the curtain with all the others and you will all be healed at once.”

The evangelist offered up a long, heartfelt prayer for healing.  Weeping could be heard all over the tent.  Finally, he concluded, calling out dramatically.  “Mrs. Smith, you haven’t been able to walk without crutches for twenty years, have you?”

“No, Lord!”  she replied from behind the curtain.

“You are healed!  Throw your right crutch over the curtain.”  Her right crutch clattered over the curtain.  “Now throw your left crutch over the curtain.”  The left crutch followed.

Thunderous “Amens!” echoed all over the tent.

“Johnny Jones, you are healed of your lisp.  Call out to us in a loud, clear voice so all can hear!” demanded the evangelist!

“Mithuth Thmith just fell on her ath!”

Please Keep The Prayers And Thoughts Coming

Please pray for our neighbors in Buffalo and pass the word that they need our prayers.

AmyRose🌹's avatarCreating Heaven On Earth

image[This picture was taken from my eating room window, from the sill itself to try to express to you how deep this snow is. This photo really does not convey the huge amount of snow you are looking at that stands well over the sill of my window.]

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Dearest Friends …. To even try to put into words how deeply touched I am by all your concern, prayers, thoughts, Love, and Light, is not possible. We are living through one of the greatest disasters known to WNY and Lancaster, NY. At times it is terrifying, gut wrenching fear wanting to just take over. That I will not allow to happen.

I am feeling very tired this day, my face pale, my stomach hurting, bouts of dizziness coming and going, and all I want to do is to lay down and sleep. I am not able to do this. My…

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Uh Oh!

The ninety-year-old man tottered in to his doctor’s office, then turned and gestured to his eighty-eight year-old wife.  “Come on in.  This concerns you, too.”

After a cursory greeting, the doctor asked them, “How can I help you today?”

“Well, we’re having problems with our sex life.”

Caught by surprise, the doctor asked, “Uhhhh….How long has this been going on?”

“First last night and then again this morning!”

Scorecard

Reblogging this excellent post from Red’s Wrap. I’ve often thought of this when hearing people giving glowing reports on their children, mindless of the struggles of others. Something to think about. Thanks Jan Wilberg for this thoughtful post on http://redswrap.wordpress.com/2014/11/18/scorecard/

Jan Wilberg's avatarRed's Wrap

Her children are doing great, one is an accountant, another in law school, the last in Central America on a break from college,resumes folded in her purse to show me if I asked. I turned away from the contest, knowing I would have to say that, of mine, three are happy and one not so much but that probably changes day by day. I stopped keeping track of their accomplishments or not and now settle on whether I want to have lunch with them and whether they can tell a decent joke or get one, which one of them I would trust to show up if I was stranded, no questions asked. This is hard to explain standing amid the Christmas candles in the department store so I just keep it to myself and say goodbye.

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Raising the Dead

Poor Uncle Joe was dying.  No doubt about it.  He’d been in bed for days, getting weaker and weaker.  Family “sat” with him around the clock.  Cousin Frank who’d been sitting for hours, finally just had to slip out to the bathroom.  Uncle Joe opened his eyes for the first time in days.  He smelled apple pie.  He was hungry!!  He just had to have some pie.

“Sally.  Sally”  No answer.  That pie was calling him.  With his last strength, he slid out of bed, so weak he melted to the floor.  Creeping on hands and knees, he finally made it down the long hall to the kitchen.  As he pulled up to the table and reached for the pie, Aunt Sally turned and smacked his hand, “Leave that alone, you old goat!  That’s for the funeral!”

Vagina, Boobs, and Poop

surprise

This is the start of a twelve part series posted eight months ago.  I am now expanding into a book.  Enjoy.

This post has nothing to do with any of these.  I am doing a post on crazy things my mother has said and done and wanted to see if this garnered interest.  Mother is sensitive about her age and height, so I can’t mention the fact that she is past eighty, and “not tall,” but besides that, has said and done some interesting things. Continue reading →

The Wonder of Water: A True Story

With author’s permission, I’d like to reblog. Wish I’d seen this when I was suffering as a teen. I am following this blogger now.

alexischiuling's avatarPeople, Places, and Perspectives.

Badge by Doobster @ Mindful Digressions Badge by Doobster @ Mindful Digressions

Here’s a simple story of how water changed a young woman’s life:

“I used to suffer from a bad case of pimples and acne. I had such a pizza face that it affected my self-confidence, to the extent that when I talked to people I would not look at them in the eye. And imagine I was a bank teller!

I went from doctor to doctor and tried all sorts of creams and medication. But nothing worked. One day I went to see a new dermatologist, and he told me to forget about everything else, and just drink a lot of water! So I started guzzling water, a few liters a day, and I would just drink and drink. True enough, my skin started clearing up as the water flushed out all the toxins in my body that were causing the breakouts.

My life…

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Okay, What’s Wrong With This Picture?

social commentary

Poor, Sweet Emma Lou (from my mother’s memoirs of the 1930’s)

When my mother Lizzie left Virginia as a young bride around 1913, she was most lonesome for her baby sister, Emma Lou, a precious blue-eyed blonde of eight. Emma Lou had been born when Grandma Sarah Perkins was past forty. Grandma must have been dismayed by a burst of fertility, eventually giving birth to five more children, the last Continue reading →