Though my grandpa Roscoe Holdaway worked as a farmer back in the 1920s, once he took the opportunity to get temporary work for a few weeks at a logging camp deep in the Continue reading
Month: March 2015
That Explains It!
Suzy went to her plastic surgeon. “You’ve got to do something about these wrinkles under my eyes. They look just awful!”
“Sure, I can fix you right up!” said Dr. Jones. “I’ll put this little knob on top of your head. Give it a little twist, and Voila!! The wrinkles are gone! Come back if you have any trouble”
Sure enough, it worked like magic. Suzy was thrilled! She was a new woman! She looked like she was eighteen again! Every time her face drooped a little, she gave the knob a little twist.
Five years later, Suzy came back to see Dr. Jones. “You fixed me up a while back with this little knob to tighten up my wrinkles. It worked great for a long time, but it’s stripped out now and I’ve got these big bags under my eyes. What can you do about them?”
“Those aren’t bags! Those are your breasts! I told you to come back if you had any trouble!”
“Oh, then that explains the goatee!”
Mithuth Thmith(favorite joke)
The crowds had been packing the traveling “tent revival” every night that week, grateful offerings filling the pockets of the evangelist. Cure after cure was enacted in the sweltering heat of those July evenings. Emotions were at an all time high on the last night as the last two afflicted souls reached the evangelist at the front of the tent..
Struggling up the steps on her crutches poor Mrs. Smith hobbled up to the evangelist. “Heal me! I haven’t been able to walk without crutches in twenty years.”
“Yes, Sister! You will be healed! Go behind that curtain and wait with the others waiting for healing.” Mrs. Smith slRepostowly and painfully made her way behind the curtain.
Johnny Jones was the last in line. “I have a lifth. It hath made my life awful. Pleath heal me of my lifth!”
“Yes, Brother! You will be healed! Go behind the curtain with all the others and you will all be healed at once.”
The evangelist offered up a long, heartfelt prayer for healing. Weeping could be heard all over the tent. Finally, he concluded, calling out dramatically. “Mrs. Smith, you haven’t been able to walk without crutches for twenty years, have you?”
“No, Lord!” she replied from behind the curtain.
“You are healed! Throw your right crutch over the curtain.” Her right crutch clattered over the curtain. “Now throw your left crutch over the curtain.” The left crutch followed.
Thunderous “Amens!” echoed all over the tent.
“Johnny Jones, you are healed of your lisp. Call out to us in a loud, clear voice so all can hear!” demanded the evangelist!
“Mithuth Thmith just fell on her ath!”
Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 4)
Inez was good company, but didn’t worry much about germs. It kind of bothered Mother when she wiped the baby’s nose with the dish towel and then put it back in the dish pan. After that Mother told Inez not to bother with the dishes. She knew Inez was tired and needed a nap. Mother didn’t like it much when she let the twins run around without Continue reading
Let’s Get to Know Each Other … Promote your Blog(s) Here
Re-blogged from ButchCountry67
Sex Education in the 1950s
I learned all this valuable information back in the 1950’s with absolutely no sex education!
Probably until about the time I started school, I thought when people wanted a baby, they went to the hospital and picked one out from a collection there. Those that were not chosen grew up to be doctors and nurses. The sex of the baby was determined by the way the parents dressed it and fixed its hair.
You’re Gonna Die! Joke
Many years ago two hunters were tromping through the the woods when one had to answer the call of nature. Joe hurried behind a tree and dropped his pants. Just as he squatted to do his business, a rattlesnake struck him in his most tender nether portion. “Help! Help! Mike,go get help!” Continue reading
The Incredible Tale of Uncle Albert’s Tale
Why in the world did Daddy ever tell us Uncle Albert had a tail if we couldn’t ask questions or ask to see it? The next few times I saw him, I followed him around, hoping his pants would fall down. He was emaciated as only an eighty-five year-old life-long smoker can be. It seemed like a real possibility. For a while, every time I was around him, whenever Continue reading
Where in the Hell Did He Hear That”
Both of my kids talked early. That can be a curse. When my son was about twenty months old, we’d been pursuing mice in our house. He never got there in time to see them. One wonderful day, he found one that had fallen and drowned in the commode. He came ripping out to share the thrilling news, then made the following remark, “I’ve been wanting to see a mouse for many years, and finally found one in the bammode.(commode) That son of a bitch!”
Nutsrok 