Sometimes I wonder if others are such life voyeurs as I? It seems stories just leap everywhere I go. I don’t just see a little girl walking with her dog down the street and move on. I watch as long as I can see her, the way she walks, her apparent mood. Does she stoop to play with the puppy? Is it on a string or a leash? Why is she wearing oversized sneakers? Did she slip off in them or have to wear them? Is that a happy or sad song she’s humming? Continue reading
Month: May 2015
Dirty Deed
My grandson called his mom at work one day. “Mom, do boogers have germs?”
“”Yes.”
“You better clean the IPad screen when you get home.”
“It’ll Grow Back”
I’m sure the hairdressers among you, as well as victims of bad haircuts, can relate to this sad story. This is my sister Phyllis, over at Anchors and Butterflies. Note the beautiful blonde hair. Wouldn’t you just love to have hair like that? Well, many years ago, in a land far away, she was home from college for the weekend, complaining that she needed a haircut, bad. A person could be forgiven for thinking that she meant a bad haircut I was just the one for the job. I got right to work.
Like all jobs skillfully executed, hair cutting looks easy enough. I’d watched it plenty of times and knew just what to do. I wrapped her wet head in a towel and dragged a comb through her hair, despite her fussiness about a mole and her ears. I kind of parted and pinned and got started.
I did pretty well at first, then took a wild whack on one side, getting it really short. When I tried to make the other side match, it looked awful. It was a mess of gashes and ridges. Her scalp shone through in spots. It looked like I’d used rick-rack to cut a pattern. I felt horrible, but started laughing. For some reason, I still thought I could save it, but the laughing gave me away. She jerked the towel away, speeding to the bathroom to look. When I didn’t hear anything, I dared hope she liked it.
“Wah! Boo Hoo Hoo! I’m gonna kill you!” She came flying out of that bathroom gripping her hand mirror and hairbrush headed In my direction.. She chased me around the house three times before Mother got her stopped. Fortunately, I had a good start or I wouldn’t be here to tell the tale.
Mother tried to calm her with some worthless reassurances like, “It doesn’t look that bad.” and her old favorite, “It’ll grow back.” Personally, I’d as soon have my teeth bashed in as be reassured, “It’ll grow back.”
Phyllis left later that day puffy-eyed, wearing a scarf. Mother had scraped up ten dollars for her to get her hair repaired, reassuring her all would be well. Phyllis skipped her classes the next morning, hunting up a “good” hairdresser. He told her he had seen worse haircuts — but couldn’t remember when.
I would like to have included an after picture, but there wasn’t one.
Finish this Story
Bud and Linda are a very nice couple. They are very devoted to each other having been married nearly forty-five years. They have a nice house and a dog. The lady likes to cook and putter in the yard. The man likes to play his guitar, pet his dog, pay his bills on the computer before they are due, and watch the History Channel. When the weather is nice, he goes out to his shop to play or mows the grass. It has been raining for three weeks straight. The man has been watching a Hitler Marathon on the History Channel for three days. Your challenge. Finish this story in ten words or less.
Adam’s Rib
Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden one morning when God stopped to speak to him. “How do you like it here, Adam?” Continue reading
SOUTHERN FRIED CRAZY (Guest Post by Linda Bethea)
Reblogged my guest post from Cordelia’s Mom, Still. Please comment on her post.
I am honored that Linda Bethea of Nutsrok has agreed to guest post for me today. Enjoy!
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Southern Fried Crazy
by Linda Bethea
We love our crazy folks down South. Oh, we may not want them right up in the house with us, not that it doesn’t happen from time to time, but certainly we need them to brighten up our holidays and remind us of how dull life would be without them.
My perenially pregnant Cousin Carol waddled into the family reunion this year with her nine kids and current live-in. He’d look like Willie Nelson if she cleaned him up. 
Excepting her penchant for living in sin, Cousin Carol is fanatically religious, devoting herself to the food kitchens, fellowship nights serving evening meals, and community closets of all the local churches, though not their morning services. “It’s hard to git nine young’uns dressed that early.”…
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Don’t Mess with My Caterpiller
I was happy to find a nice, healthy looking caterpiller gobbling this yarrow in the gardening center today, I picked it up for my butterfly garden along with a few other plants. The young lady in check out must have been brand new. She picked up my yarrow bumping the caterpiller to the counter. Before I could stop her, she brushed into her little trash can. Continue reading
Recipe for Happy Dog
Compost Heap+Organic Matter+Mud+Earthworms+Unknown Stinky Stuff=Happy Dog
Notice the big smile!
Fathers and Time
I hadn’t seen this picture of my father until recently. He died in 1981. This is so typical of how happy and loving he looked the last few years of his life, once his children were grown and he retired. He was a loving grandfather, endlessly patient and loving. He never tired of his grandchildren. At this point in his life, he couldn’t get enough of his family. I am glad to have this memory.
Nutsrok 