Life at our house was a mad-house on better days. Daddy worked rotating shifts. For second shift he had to leave the house by two in the afternoon. He always had a lot going on before work, so he wouldn’t sit down to dinner (lunch) until one or one-fifteen. Mother always served a hot, sit-down meal with meat, two vegetables, and biscuits or cornbread. According to Daddy, she was disorganized, so it challenged her to get Continue reading
Month: June 2015
Joke of the Day
A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. “But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!” he protested. “Our rule is that everyone must undress,” replied the blond nurse. “That’s a stupid rule,” grumbled the patient, “making me undress just to look at my toe.” “That’s nothing,” growled a voice from the next cubicle. “I just came to fix the phones!”
Floyd, the Cornbread, and the Attic Fan
Floyd Lewis was a holdover from another time. Daddy hired him whenever he needed help clearing new ground, cutting timber, or work of that sort. Illiterate, with no social graces, Floyd muttered an unintelligible answer if asked a direct question. Considering our financial situation, I know Daddy couldn’t have paid him much. It is doubtful Floyd ever attended school, since he was of the generation before attendance was Continue reading
Southern Folks
For some reason, people get the impression folks from the South are unintelligent perhaps because of the Southern accent. I get this a lot since I smile and laugh a lot and am always friendly. I could talk to a fence post. It’s always interesting to surprise people with a witty return when they think I’m not too sharp.
Grandma
I miss my Grandma. She was perfect, mostly because she acted like she thought I was, not noticing any bad behavior, knowing my mom would act on it. I was sure she loved me best of all her grandchildren, unaware she made us all feel that way. She made the best teacakes, told the best stories, and always smelled of Johnson’s Baby Powder. Patiently, she’d let me brush her waist-length gray hair, and attempt to twist into a heavy bun, never complaining that I pulled, before finally turning it into a perfect bun and securing it with only one heavy bone pin herself with a quick flip of her wrist, once I gave it up for hopeless.
Are You Hungry?
That was the first question Daddy asked every person who entered his house, should they be a friend, relative, or Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Salesman who happened to be hopelessly lost on the back roads of rural Bossier Parish. Raised during The Great Depression, always hungry, he frequently did a day’s work for no more than food. He swore if he ever got grown, no one would ever leave his house hungry. “Are you hungry? Kathleen will fix you something to eat!” The burden of his good intentions Continue reading
Joke of the Day
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.
They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say, “Look! He’s moving!”
Joke of the Day
Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner.
Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. “Mom, I want a bike for my birthday.” Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol’s mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did. Carol’s mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect on her behavior over the last year, and write a letter to God and tell him why she deserved a bike for her birthday. Little Carol stomped up the steps to her room and sat down to write God a letter.
LETTER 1:Dear God:
I have been a very good girl this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one. Your friend, Carol
Carol knew this wasn’t true. She had not been a very good girl this year, so she tore up the letter and started over.
LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Carol. I have been a pretty good girl this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Carol
Carol knew this wasn’t true either. She tore up the letter and started
again.
LETTER 3:
Dear God:
I know I haven’t been a good girl this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good girl if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you,
Carol
Carol knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get her a
bike. By now, she was very upset. She went downstairs and told her mother she wanted to go to church. Carol’s mother thought her plan had worked because Carol looked very sad.
“Just be home in time for dinner,” her mother said.
Carol walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. She looked around to see if anyone was there. She picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary, slipped it under her jacket and ran out of the church, down the street, into her house, and up to her room. She shut the door and sat down
and wrote her letter to God.
LETTER 4:
I GOT YOUR MAMA.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
When you buy a gift consider a work as original as you are
Reblog from Gales Mind. Thank you Gale
Nutsrok 