Uncle Joe sent word he needed the boys to cut firewood one November day in 1934. He’d be ready about ten the next morning. They walked barefoot three miles through the woods, kicking at the fallen leaves, since it was a still a warm day as November often is in Nortwest Louisiana. Shoes had to be saved for school, but the opportunity to get a day’s work took precedence over school. They needed whatever Uncle Joe paid, whether it be a little money or food. Maybe they’d get a meal or some cast off clothes, too. Continue reading
Month: June 2015
Things Cat Crap Taught Me
Makiing your bed is important, even if you’ve been a slob and left it till midnight. A deranged cat may have left a nice gooey kitty surprise in the warm spot you abandoned this morning. You won’t like the way it feels as you slide your leg along it under the rumpled covers, I’m pretty sure.
No!!!!!!!
One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle. He killed it, and started to eat it. Surprisingly, a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment, and arrested him for killing an endangered species. In court, he pleads innocent to the charges against him, claiming that if he didn’t eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation. The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge’s closing statement he asked the man, “I would like Continue reading
Ahhhhh!
A lot of people my age look pretty old. I’m glad I lost my mirror.
People Ought Not to Have to Live That Way
After his father died , Daddy told of his family moving in a battered old shack sitting in a open field occupied by a bull and herd of cows. It was really not much better than a barn, just unpainted planks with unfinished walls inside, tin roof visible above the open rafters. The cows offered little threat, but the Jersey bull raged when the cows were in heat. Mettie and the kids had to always had to keep a look out for him when they stepped outdoors to do laundry or fetch water from the well. Mettie kept the little girls close by in case they had to make a run for the house. She and the older boys made sure he was nowhere around before starting across the open field to the road. Continue reading
A Grave Matter
As the two tipsy ladies staggered home their night on the town, they realized they had to go, right then, and made a quick detour into the cemetery. They each ducked behind a tombstone to do their business. Of course, they had no toilet tissue. One used her panties, tossing them aside. Her friend had worn a lovely matched set and couldn’t bear to part with her undies. She just snitched a ribbon off a flower arrangement, cast it aside, and went on her way. Continue reading
My Dad’s Early History
Back row Unknown 2nd Geneva,Edward, 1st Bill, Bessie Swain.
Bill Swain, my dad was born in 1924, fourth of seven children born to Eddie and Mettie Swain. Eddie’s father, Thomas Swain owned a blacksmith and farm and was fairly prosperous. His business was lost during the depression. As he lay on his deathbed, in his delirium, he kept telling his family he had hidden money under his bed. None was ever found. Poverty-stricken like so many others, Eddie made his way as a sharecropper, moving farm to farm, hoping for greater opportunity.
Sadly for the family, Eddie died after four years of suffering with a brain tumor, leaving Mettie with five children under sixteen. Much of the last couple of years, Eddie was either hospitalized at the Confederate Memorial Hospital in Shreveport, Louisiana, or in his mother’s care at her home. His mother was willing to care for Eddie when he needed her, but did nothing for Mettie or the children. The only help Mettie could count on was from her brother. Brother Albert provided her a house and garden place on his farm when she wanted it. Mettie was restless, sometimes moving away. Bill was thirteen when his father died, Edward, sixteen. Both boys had already taken to working away from home, more for something to eat than money. They knew they needed to “get their feet out from under Mama’s table.” If they didn’t havea place to live and work, they’d take a day’s work at a time, for what they were fed the day, or if they were lucky, a bag of meal, a half-bushel of beans, or some corn to bring home. Bill lived most of the time with his Uncle Albert, taking work on other farms as well when he could get it.
Bill snagged his first paying job at fifteen as night-watchman on a drilling rig. He was big for his age, able to pass for eighteen. The site wasn’t too far from home. He get hungry and slip home nights for something to eat. From there, he went on to construction and operating heavy equipment, which he did till he went in the Navy during World War II. He enlisted in the Navy, because he never wanted to be hungry again.
to be continued
Joke
A drunk staggers into the confessional in the Catholic Church. sits down and goes to sleep. The priest on the other side of the screen waits a minute knocks, waits, then knocks again.
“There ain’t no point knocking no more,” said the drunk. “there still ain’t no toilet paper”
I Want It! I Want It!
I was an acute hemodialysis nurse for thirty years, caring for thousands of patients over that time. The most important thing I learned was listen to your patient. I’d cared for Miss Ann for many years, through numerous hospitalizations, surgeries, and procedures. Prior to this admission, she’d told her husband, “I don’t ever want any more surgery.”
Unfortunately, this time she was in ICU on a ventilator and couldn’t speak for herself. She appeared to be unaware of what the doctor was explaining to her, so he asked her husband for surgical consent. Sadly, her husband refused, citing Miss Ann’s intention not to have surgery again. Meanwhile, behind the two of them, Miss Ann was frantically waving her arms trying to get their attention. She wanted surgery.
Miss Ann got her surgery, recovered, and did well for quite a while after that.
Nutsrok 