Dear Auntie Linda, My brother and I are both in middle school.  My parents don’t know he is transgender, though it is clear to see.  He is being bullied and harassed at school, though he hasn’t told my parents. He blows it off, saying its not that bad.  His teachers and administration are mostly looking the other way.  I am worried he will be hurt or hurt himself.  What do I do? Loving Sister

Dear Sister, Tell your brother he needs to talk to your parents about the bullying.  Offer to bring it up and help.  He may not be ready to discuss his transgender status with them, but it is possible he may choose to once the door is open.  That is his to deal with.  If he refuses to talk to your parents or the school administration, it is up to you.  If your parents aren’t helpful, go to administration yourself.  He and all the others being bullied need to know someone will support them.  It is very helpful when friends stand up for those being bullied.  Auntie Linda

Auntie Linda, I have just found out my son is a bully.  I feel awful.  My ex-husband was abusive to me and the children.  When my son was ten, we were able to escape and start a new life when my ex went to prison.  I feel terrible, knowing my son was a victim of violence and is now inflicting pain on others.  How do I help him.  Bully’s Mom

Dear Mom, I hope you are able to forge a bond with your son if you haven’t already.  Are you able to discuss this with him calmly?  He is hurting himself and hurting others.  He needs to learn empathy.  Sounds like he is striking out before he can be hurt.  I hope there is someone he can trust to guide him.  He is probably suffering from PTSD and acting out.  Talk to the counselor at school and his pediatrician to get some guidance.  Auntie Linda