I can’t brain today, I have the dumb: adventures in parking

I Love This Job (Lost Dr. Seuss Poem) anonymous author

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

I Love My Job!

The Lost Dr Seuss Poem

I love my job, I love the pay!
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss, she is the best!
I love her boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location,
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And piles of paper that grow each day!

I think my job is really swell,
There’s nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers,
I love their leers, and jeers, and sneers.

I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it won’t care.
I love each program and every file.
I’d love them more if they worked a while.

I’m happy to be here.  I am.  I am.
I’m the happiest slave of the Firm, I am.

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Just Folks Getting By Finale

 

Ben brought Uncle Amos home to supper that night, just like he always did on Thursdays.  Lucille did herself proud with fried chicken.  Jenny made mashed potatoes, English Pea Salad, and sliced fresh garden tomatoes.

“Ladies, I haven’t had a meal this good since I don’t know when.  Lucille, I been thinking about asking you to marry me, and your fried chicken just made up my mind.”  He said.

“Well, I hope it don’t break yore heart, but I already been married plenty.  I like to do things my way.  I don’t want to have to take care of nobody no more.  I don’t mind cooking you up some fried chicken once in a while, though.”  She laughed. 

“Well, that’s a relief.  I really ain’t partial to gittin’ married again either, but I sure admire your fried chicken.”  Everybody got a laugh out of that.

Jenny brought out coffee and pie, then told Ben.  “Mama and I want to talk to you about something.  Mama wants to buy Miss Dolly’s shop.  Miss Dolly needs three thousand dollars.  Mama has fifteen hundred.  I am thinking I’d like to go in with her.  You know I’ve got a little saved from before we got married.  Lucy could go to work with me.  There’s a little bed/sitting room opening right onto the shop where she could nap and play.  That way, I could work and not have to leave her.  What do you think?”

Lucille spoke before Ben had time to respond.  “Now before you worry over this too much, Ben, I want you to know.  I ain’t expecting to live with you.  I can move into the back of the shop. I want my own place.  I don’t want to be dependin’ on nobody for a place to live.  It was good of Shirley and Martin to let me fix up their garage apartment, but I don’t want to feel like I am in their way.  I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Martin’s mama didn’t want to move in there.  The house was hers to start with.  I sure don’t want to cause no family trouble.  I don’t mean for Jenny to go in with me if you’d rather not. Dolly has already suggested I could pay it out by the month if I haf’ to.  She ain’t had no other offers.”

“Let’s just do the figures and see how it works out.  Jenny has her own money to use as she pleases. You know I’m not the kind of fellow to take from my wife. I like the idea of her having Lucy with her.  Jerry wants more hours, anyway.  Uncle Amos is there in the mornings.  All that kind of fits in with something I was thinking about, anyway.  Jenny’s idea of coffee and treats has really caught on.  You know the hardware store and Dolly’s Shop have an adjoining wall.  How would you feel about opening up between and I could give my customers a coupon and they could come over there for a free coffee?  They could buy their own snack.  That would help us both.”  Ben looked thoughtful.  “It might just work.  What do you think, Uncle Amos?  You are a good businessman.  Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“It sure sounds good to me.  I believe folks would always go for free coffee.  I expect they’d turn a good profit.  I believe me and you could open up the space between the two stores and not have to hire nobody to do that work.  I did all the work around my store.  I never wanted to pay for no work I could do myself.”  Amos looked enthusiastic at the thought of getting his hands dirty.

“I can’t see any reason not to do this.  I believe we’d all come out well.”  Ben admitted. “Let’s get cracking.”

“If you don’t mind me makin’ a long distance call, I guess I’d better call Shirley an’ let her know she’s gonna need a baby sitter.  I have an idea it will be a relief to her,” Lucille said.  “I’ll get the operator to call back and let me know what the charge is so I can pay you back.  I don’t usually call long distance, but I want to talk to Dolly before somebody else gits the place.”

“You go right ahead, but you are not paying us back for that call.” Ben told her.

Lucille was gone about ten minutes.  “Well, Shirley took it real good.  She told me she’s about four months along and she ain’t goin’ back to teachin’ this fall.  She’s really looking forward to finally gittin’ to stay home with a baby.  She had to go back when school started in the fall with the other three.  She did ask if I could come stay a couple of weeks when the baby comes, though.  I told her I figured you could handle things.  Turns out, it’s good I come up with somethin’ else anyway.  Old Lady Benson has been houndin’ Marty about wantin’ my apartment.  She thinks she’s still got a claim to it since they bought the house from her.  He told her I’d done put three thousand dollars in it an’ it wasn’t up to him.  She told him she’d give me four thousand if I’d give it up.  I told Marty to tell her, it’d sure hurt me but I guess I’d do it.  If she wants to keep that new stove, icebox, and curtains I put in I told him she could have them for two hundred fifty dollars more.  Sounds like a pretty good deal to git them out of a hard spot.  I don’t envy Shirley none, havin’ that old lady in her back yard, but she says she can handle it.

Six months later:

Lucille walked in Jenny’s Sweet Shop and surprised Jenny at the register.  “Mama, why in the world didn’t you tell us you were coming on the bus today?  Seems like you were gone a year instead of just three weeks.  Uncle Amos was planning to drive over and pick you Sunday!  I can’t fuss, though.  I am so glad to see you. I’d dance a jig if I could, but Lucy and this big old baby under my apron are ‘bout to wear me out. I can’t believe I’ve still got five months to go! Uncle Amos has been having to help me half a day every day.  Come on in and I’ll get us a cup of coffee.  Lucy, come see!  Grandma’s back.  Tell me all about that new baby.”

“Oh, she’s a pretty little red-headed blue-eyed thing with the curliest eyelashes you ever saw, just like you and Jimmy!  I got some real cute pictures of all the kids.  Old Lady Benson was claiming credit for them eyelashes the whole time.  You know, I always talked about the eyelashes on my babies.  Whooee!  I’m glad I don’t have to put up with that woman no more!  She tried to talk me down to a hundred and fifty dollars for that new stove and icebox I put in.  I held out for two-hundred fifty and she gave up and paid it, once she found out I had another seller lined up.  Lord, that woman is hard to please.

https://atomic-temporary-73629786.wpcomstaging.com/2017/02/12/just-folks-getting-by-part-1/

Link to first post in this serial

Just Folks Getting By part 19

img_2023Jenny got a letter from Shirley.

Dear Jenny,

Please don’t tell Mama I wrote you first.  Things are so stirred up here I need to think things out.  First off, I knew I was pregnant before Mama left, but didn’t want to worry her.  Having five babies in eight years is hard.  I won’t be teaching this fall.  I am going to stay home with the kids like I should have last time. I can’t ask Mama to keep three kids while I work.  They just about run me ragged and I’m a lot younger than she is.  Now that I have made up my mind to quit teaching, I look forward to this baby.  I never have gotten to stay home long.  My babies were all were born in summer and I had to go right back to teaching in the fall.  I always felt cheated about that.

This is what’s really worrying me.  You know Martin’s brother Perry is  getting married.  They were going to wait till Christmas, but Judy’s daddy died and left them a really nice house.  It’s two stories with five bedrooms, much nicer than Perry’s house. Judy’s mother still liv s there and doesn’t want to live alone, so they are going to move the wedding up to August 1 and move in with her.  They’ve asked mother Benson to go, but she wants no part of it.  She’s always been real snide Judy’s mother, anyway.  She approached us about moving back in with us.  We only have three bedrooms.  If she moves in the house, we’ll have to pack all four of the kids in one room.  That’s not right!  With me quitting my job, we can’t afford to add on. She wanted the apartment back, but Martin told her Mama had spent three-thousand dollars to fix it up.  Mama Benson said she’d give Mama four thousand if she’d let her have it.  I don’t have the heart to say anything to Mama, but I’m just worried sick.  Do you think you and Ben could ask her to move in with you? She never caused us any problems or butted into our business.  Can you talk to Ben and call me in a few days? I am sorry  to burden you with all this worry.  I’ve cried about this till I just can’t cry any more.  I never thought I’d be in this position.  I don’t know why Mama Benson can’t just get an apartment.  Please don’t  say anything to Mama till we talk.  Marty says we will figure something out.

Love,

Shirley

“Why that old bat!  What does Mrs. Benson think Mama ought to do, just live in the street?”  Jenny got on the phone to Ben.  “Ben, I need to talk to you about something real mportant..  Do you have time now?”

“Is something wrong?  Do I need to come home?” Asked Ben.

“No, I’ll come down there if you have time.  I have to pick Mama up anyway.”

In a few minutes, Ben was reading Shirley’s letter.  “That’s cold-hearted of Mrs. Benson.  I’m surprised she offered Miss Lucille her money back.  We have plenty of room.  If you want, we can close in half the back porch for a bedroom and bathroom. I’ve been thinking about closing it in for a sunroom, anyway.  She can have a door opening out of her room onto the porch.  We’ll talk to her tonight.  Go ahead and tell Shirley it won’t be a problem.  She doesn’t need to be worrying.  By the way, that was a great idea about the brownies and coffee.  They didn’t last twenty minutes.  Bert Masters came in again this morning and wanted to know if I had more.  I made a pot and hurried over and bought a piece of your Mama’s pie and some muffins.  He ate every crumb of the pie and said he was going next door to see if there was any left.  She’s pretty good with a pie.”

“I think I’ll call Shirley from your office, if it’s okay.  I don’t want Mama to overhear.  Don’t let her slip up on me.”  She ducked in his office for about ten minutes.  “Thanks, Ben, I’d better check on Mama.  She may have been trying to call me.  See you tonight.”  With that, she hurried next door.

The little shop bell dinged as she entered and Dolly hurried out from the kitchen.  “Good morning, Jenny.  I hope you didn’t come to haul my help off.  I just convinced Miis Lucy to work till noon.  She’s putting a batch of of cookies in now.  Come on back to the kitchen.”

“Mama, now I see why you didn’t call.  You are elbow deep in flour.  What’s going on?”

Lucille slid four pans of cookies in the oven.  “We’ve got twelve minutes till these have to come out.  Come on Dolly, let’s all take time for a cup of coffee and talk.”  With that, she sat.  “Jenny, I told Dolly I’d help her every morning while I’m here.  Dolly needs to sell this shop.  We went over her books.  She runs it from seven till one and turns a real good profit.  I want to buy it. Do you think you’d want to partner with me?  There’s a cute little bed/sitting room in back I could move into.  You could bring the baby to work with you.  I think I could raise fifteen hundred dollars, but Dolly has to have three thousand.  What do you think? ”

“I think it sounds like a real good idea.  I know you could make a go of it.  I have a little nest egg of my own.  I think I’d like to be in business with you.  Let’s talk to Ben tonight.”  Jenny felt a load lift from her shoulders.

 

 

 

Just Desserts

Since I’ve been writing a lot about pies, I thought I’d repost this story about a dirty trick I pulled on my brother.  He is still pouting.Bean Pie0001Billy was a good eater. He was over six feet tall by the time he was twelve, worked hard every day and was always hungry. Since Daddy had known real hunger growing up during the depression, he encouraged him to “eat well.” Billy liked to drink his milk from a quart jar to cut down on troublesome refills, and he would hurt a kid over a piece of leftover fried chicken.  When Mother was serving chicken, he’d take a piece or two, eat a couple of bites, put it on his plate, and go for seconds. This made sure he got plenty before it ran out.  By the time he was in high school, if there were leftovers, Mother took to freezing them, hoping to have some for the next meal.  He caught on to that and soon she’d hear the creaking of the freezer door in the dark.

Knowing he was always ravenous when he came in after a late basketball game, Mother once left him a plate of steak and potatoes and a bowl of banana pudding on the counter.  Mistaking the pudding for gravy, he spread it generously over his steak and potatoes.  He said it was awful, but scraped it off and ate it anyway.

Nothing delighted me more than to get the best of him.  Counting on his gluttony, I laid a trap.  I fried up a batch of fresh peach pies, golden and flaky, and left them on a plate on the table.  The topmost pie was the biggest, flakiest, and most tempting of all.  I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist it.  It was filled with salty beans.

Phyllis and I stepped behind the door when we saw him coming.  Lured by the tantalizing aroma of fresh peach pie, he fell into my trap, tearing into that horrible pie.  You can imagine the rest…

Just Folks Getting By Part 18

cook-bookJenny walked in the kitchen to find biscuits in the oven and two pies cooling on the counter. “My goodness, Mama.  Didn’t you go to bed last night?  How did you get this all done so early?

“My eyelids flew up like window shades about four o’clock and I was wide-awake.  I knowed there was no use just a’layin’ there, so I got up an’ started bakin’.  I hope I didn’t bother you none.  I kind’a got me an idear.  I’m a’gonna take one of these pies down to Dolly at the bake shop.  It might be she’d want to sell my pies if you could spare me a couple of hours of the mornin’.  Would you mind runnin’ me down there?”  Lucille asked. “I wouldn’t mind makin’ a couple of dollars long as I’m a’gonna be here awhile.”

“I’d be glad to, but you better not let Ben know what you’re up to.  He might not want you cookin’ around on him.”  Jenny laughed. 

“Who’s cooking around on me?” Ben demanded as he walked in.  “Are those biscuits I smell?  Can you wrap me up a couple to take with me?”

“Why sure.” Lucille replied.  I’ll have bacon in just a minute if you’ll wait.” 

“I guess it won’t hurt to be a minute late.  Uncle Amos is always way early.  He can handle anything that rolls in early.  There’s usually a couple of folks waiting at seven-thirty, but after that it’s usually quiet till about nine.  Could you wrap up a couple for Uncle Amos, too.  I know he’d like ‘em.”

“Mama, why don’t you catch a ride with Ben?  You can call when you are ready and I’ll pick you up.  That will give me time to dress and bathe the baby.”

“Yeah, I’ll just get my stuff together while you finish that bacon.” Said Ben.  “Jenny doesn’t need to keep you all to herself. You are leaving one of those pies here, aren’t you?”

“They are chocolate peanut butter.  I guess I could do that.  Jenny, could you wrap these bacon biscuits and put this pie in that carrier while I get my purse and put on a clean apron.”  Lucille washed her hands and hurried out.

Jenny looked at Ben.  “I think Mama’s up to something, don’t you?”

“Kind of looks like it, but it can’t be too bad if it includes pie.” He mused.

milk-add

 

 

 

John’s Favorite Chocolate Pie with Optional Peanut Butter

1 cup white sugar

6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder

3 tablespoons cornstarch

1/4 teaspoon salt

2 cups milk (I used canned evaporated milk for all my cooking)

4 egg yolks, beaten

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked

4 egg whites

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

8 tablespoons white sugar

½ cup peanut butter (optional)

Directions

Mix together sugar, cocoa, corn starch and salt in a medium saucepan. Gradually mix in milk. Cook and stir over medium high heat until thickened and bubbly. Blend in peanut butter if desired.  Reduce heat to medium low; cook and stir 2 minutes more. Remove pan from heat. Slowly stir about one cup of the hot filling into the egg yolks, stirring constantly; mix back into the custard. Return saucepan to heat, and bring to a gentle boil. Cook and stir for 2 minutes. Remove from the heat, and stir in vanilla. Pour hot filling into crust.

In a clean bowl, beat egg whites with cream of tartar until soft peaks form. (If yellow gets into whites they won’t whip) Gradually beat in sugar, and continue to beat until stiff and glossy. Spread evenly over hot filling, sealing meringue to crust.

Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 12 to 15 minutes, or until golden.

Just Folks Getting By Part 18

 

Lucille offered Amos her hand.  “Amos, I always hoped I’d meet you again one day to thank you for your kindness.  I was so grateful to you for the sandwich you gave Jenney that day when you bought me coffee at that café.  That really helped us.  I’d just like to know if that was your last dollar you gave us for our trip?”

“I expect it was, since they were few and far between, but I would have hated to see my wife go off without any money at all.  I know Russ would have done the same.  How is Russ?” he inquired politely.

“We lost Russ about fifteen years ago.  Life ain’t never been the same, but I made up my mind to raise my girls and keep on going.  A person cain’t just lay down and die when they face hardships.  I know you know that.  I heard you lost your wife about a year after I last saw you.”

Ben interrupted, “Jenney, come on back here.  I want you to meet Jerry, the boy who wants to work with us some.  Miss Lucille, Uncle Amos, come on back to my office for coffee when you’ve caught up.”  Jenney followed Ben.

“Yeah, I’ve lost two wives now.  I married again right after my first wife died, then Lizzie, my second died a few years ago.  Me an Lizzie had a us hardware store in Bogata, Texas, but I sold it and divided up with my four girls a few years after Lizzie died.  None of my girls wants to run a business, so I took what I had left and threw in with Ben a few months ago.  I’ve always been partial to Ben since I ain’t got a boy.”

“I had no idea you were kin to Ben.  How come I ain’t never met you before?  Seems like we would a’bumped into each other before now.”  She was puzzled.

“Lizzie was down in bed and died about seven years ago.  I didn’t go nowhere for a long time.  About a year ago, I got a letter from Ben and he told me he had some ideas about expanding.  It’s kind of like I woke up from a long sleep.  I came to see him, and we worked out a deal.  I invested a little and agreed to work a little, and took a share.  Not much, Ben still runs it but it gives me something t””o do and it’s good for me to be busy again.  Sort of makes me feel like I woke up after a long, long sleep.”

“Well, I sure know how that is.  After I got the kids raised, I didn’t want to work so hard in the Café, so I sold it and git by with my little savin’s and Old Age Pension.  I live in a garage apartment at my girl Shirley’s and keep her kids while she’s teachin’, so I ain’t doing no sleeping.  Let’s git on back to the office.  I wouldn’t mind gittin’ off my feet an’ I could sure use a cup of coffee.”

“Yes ma’am.  Coffee sounds mighty good.  Come right on back here.”  He led her to the back.

“Mama, I had no idea you knew each other!”  said Jenny.

“Well, we really don’t.  Amos just gave me and you a ride to town to catch the bus.  Then he gave you his breakfast, so he might be mad you don’t remember him.
“I sure don’t, but a appreciate you looking out for me, Uncle Amos.  Bet you never dreamed I’d be your niece one day, did you?”

“No, I didn’t, but I couldn’t have found a prettier or sweeter one, could I Ben.?”

“No siree!”  Ben beamed.  “I’m sure proud you didn’t let her starve!

“Come on and get some of this coffee and some of these brownies.  I got ‘em from that bakery shop next door.  They sure are good.  I hate it, but that place is going to close down.  The store-owner’s husband is retiring and they are moving to Florida.  They do a great business, but haven’t been able to sell it.  I am sure going to miss it.  I go over and get a little snack to have with my coffee every day.  It’s good business to patronize other local businesses, but it’s kind of bad for my waist, just like your pies, Miss Lucille.  If you keep making pies, I’m going have to go down to Townsend’s and get bigger pants.”  Laughed Ben.

“My gosh!  These are good, but I can’t eat another.  Don’t you dare bring the rest of that box home, Ben.  Put it out for the customers along a pot of coffee.  It’ll be good for business, and your waist.”  With that Jenny and Lucille took the baby and left.

“Is that the bakery shop there?” Lucille asked.  “That’s a cute little shop.  Let’s go in.”

“Sure, Mama.”  Jenny followed her right in.

The attendant scurried right over.  “Is this your shop?”  Yes, ma’am, for just another couple of weeks.  Me and my husband will be moving to Florida.  What can I get you?”

“How about a two of them sugar cookies. “  Lucille pointed her choice out.

“You picked the best thing.  I have one every morning with my coffee.” said the owner, amiably.

“I used to own a café and sell pies.”  said Lucille.

“I’ll bet you make a fine pie.  Anybody that wears an apron, knows their way around the kitchen.  “You see I’m wearing an apron.  My mama made this for me.”

“I saw that apron first thing.  I knew you were a fine cook then.”

Grandma’s Tea Cakes

Reblog of great recipe

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

image

My Grandma made these.  Mother made them.  I make them.  My daughter makes them.  We all had our own twist.  They are the best tea cakes I’ve ever had.  It was so good to come in from school and find these coming out of the oven.

Grandma’s Teacakes

1 cup of butter

2 eggs

3 cups sugar

4 cups self-rising flour (for plain add 1 1/2 tsp baking powder and 1/8 tsp salt per CUP flour)

2 Tsp vanilla

Heat oven to 325 degrees. Cream softened butter, sugar, eggs and vanilla.  Add 3 1/2  cups flour and mix till it is a stiff dough.  Use other 1/2 cup to dust over dough and dust your hands while rolling out.  Roll into 1- 1 1/2 inch balls and place on greased cookie sheets.  Cookies should be no closer than 3/4 inch.  Bake cookies center rack. 7 minutes, then turn pans back…

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Pirate Joke

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

As the Pirate ship approached the fearsome ship, the captain told his aide, “Get me my red shirt!”  He fought fearlessly in his red shirt, winning the day.

After the battle, the aide asked, “Why did you want your red shirt?

“I knew I might be injured and didn’t want the men to lose heart!”

“Ah!  That makes sense.”

Just then the captain saw an entire fleet approaching.  “Get me my brown pants!”

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