image courtesy of Wikipedia
We NEVER went to the movies. I don’t mean rarely. I mean never. Sadly, the night in question didn’t do much to change that, except to let me know that the inside of the theater was dark and smelled like popcorn, a fact that didn’t change my feeling much, since I didn’t get popcorn.
Oh, well. On with the story. Mother decided we were due a treat. One fine August night, we were going to see a movie! She’d saved up her pennies, dropped Daddy off at work at three, and took us to the ten cent movie at the Spring Theatre in Springhill that night. If they planned to recoup low attendance with popcorn and drink sales to us that night, it was a bad business plan. Mother smuggled peanut butter sandwiches and a communal jug of water for us to share after leaving no doubt she wouldn’t be buying snacks.
Any, we trooped in like a line of big dumb ducks, clattering about three-quarters down the aisle where Mother thought we could see best. It was quite a parade. Mother directed us toward the center of the row, sending Phyllis and Connie to be seated first. Phyllis was a good sister and could soothe the restless toddler as well as Mother. I followed. Mother and Marion, a baby in arms, and Billy were next. Billy and I couldn’t be trusted to behave in church, so she always sat between us. I don’t know why Mother thought I couldn’t behave in a movie. It would have to be way better than church.
Back the, there was no multiple choice in small-town movie. Movies were rotated out once a week. You got what you got. As soon as the cartoons went off, that night’s feature rolled: “The Interns.”
I could see right off there would be no cowboys, Wonder Horses, ghosts, or monsters. I was disappointed, but still, I was “at the movies.” Sure enough, in about ten minutes, my ears perked up. The scene opened on an obstetrics ward. I was very interested in finding out all I could about sex. Mother had always reacted with outrage when anything came on TV about pregnancy or to raise questions she didn’t want to answer. It didn’t matter if thousands of Indians were about to scalp Custer, any indication that a woman might be in dramatic labor jolted her into action. I was delighted when I heard the line, …”and I better not catch any of you young interns messing with my young mothers!” I snapped to attention! There was no way Mother could turn the movie off. I was finally going to find out what happened when “my pains were two minutes apart.”
Mother was incensed! She’d led us right into the belly of the beast. Not only had she brought us to a “dirty movie,” now she was going to have to put with with questions. She was mad! For someone who went around having babies Willy Nilly, she sure was touchy!
She grabbed Billy out of his seat and pushed him to the aisle, sputtering all the way. He was all set to see a movie and now Mother was dragging him out.of corse he protested. I slid into the aisle, right behind Mother. Phyllis, a “good Christian,” mirrored Mother’s attitude. All us kids were disappointed. We didn’t even get to go to the “bathroom of sin.” Mother wasn’t rising any backward peeks.
I don’t remember my parents having a good car. The model Mother was driving that night was at least ten-years-old. The kids piled furiously in the car, having been deprived of a wondrous treat. Furious herself, Mother threatened. She wasn’t putting up with any hateful backtalk. Mother has always been a doofus of a driver and hates parallel parking and backing up. Simply said, she couldn’t drive nail in a fat hog’s rear. See, I’m getting mad again just remembering! She can’t get out of average spots, much less, tight spots. She had parked as near as she could to the corner, really close to the high curb, so as not to have to reverse. In fact, she was so close we all had to slide out on the passenger side. Remember, she was scared of backing up. Sadly, she’d miscalculated and left just enough room for a car to back in front of her, boxing her in. She’d also failed to notice a power pole left back bumper. She was hopelessly locked in till that car’s happy owner finished watching the move we’d just been dragged out of. We finished the peanut butter sandwiches and jug of water in record time? It was hotter than a cowboy’s whorehouse on payday as we waited that hot August night. I only wish I’d known these phrases while we sat in the hot car. A good beating for a filthy mouth would set the evening off to perfection.
Does this sound dirty? I pulled this straight from Wikipedia.
A class of interns arrives for their first year in training at a public city hospital, which serves patients from many different ethnic and socioeconomic groups. Close friends and classmates John Paul Otis (Robertson) and Lew Worship (James MacArthur) plan to become surgeons and open their own clinic together. They are less than thrilled about their assignment to obstetrics, feeling that delivering babies is not very difficult.
Lew becomes romantically involved with student nurse Gloria (Stefanie Powers), while John becomes infatuated with fashion model Lisa Cardigan (Suzy Parker). Lisa dislikes the idea of dating a relatively impoverished young doctor, and is pregnant out of wedlock by another man. Although John offers to solve her problem by marrying her, she pressures him to illegally obtain pills for her in hopes of ending the pregnancy. He finally does so, and is caught and reported by Lew, ending their friendship and John’s medical career.
Sid Lackland (Nick Adams) aspires to serve wealthy patients so he can make a lot of money. Then he becomes attached to Loara (Ellen Davalos), a girl from a poor village in Southeast Asia, who is one of his patients. She has a rare medical condition and is scheduled for a serious operation. Loara resists his friendly overtures because she is sure she will die in the hospital. Sid is heartbroken when Loara dies during her surgery.
Alec Considine (Callan) wants a residency under eminent psychiatrist Dr. Bonney, and secretly cheats on his wealthy fiancee Mildred (Anne Helm) with Dr. Bonney’s longtime nurse Vicky Flynn in hopes of being introduced to the doctor. To keep up his medical duties and spend time with both women, Alec takes Dexedrine to stay awake. Although he does meet Dr. Bonney, who offers him a residency, Mildred discovers his affair and leaves him.
Madolyn Bruckner (Haya Harareet) aspires to become a surgeon under abrasive Dr. Domenic Riccio (Savalas). Despite her skills as an intern, Riccio discourages her because he is prejudiced against female doctors, assuming they will abandon their medical careers to get married and have children. Riccio later finds out Madolyn has already been married and has a child, yet is still pursuing her medical career as a single working mother.
At the end of the year, Alec, Lew, and several other interns come under suspicion when a terminally ill, immobile patient who has been begging to die is found dead of a barbiturateoverdose. None of the involved interns can accept their residencies until the source of the drugs is found, creating a risk that the residency offers will be withdrawn. Alec, strung out on Dexedrine, has a nervous breakdown at the thought of losing his residency with Dr. Bonney. Lew and the other interns visit the patient’s wife and find out that she gave him the drugs after being worn down by his constant pleas that if she really loved him, she would help him die. As a result, the interns are no longer under suspicion and can accept their offers.
Lew, having developed an interest in obstetrics after delivering a baby, accepts a residency at the same hospital, and convinces Gloria, who had planned to travel and see the world, to marry him, instead. Sid gets an offer from a wealthy hospital, but inspired by Loara, he goes to practice in impoverished Southeast Asia, instead. Riccio hires Madolyn as his resident assistant. John, now engaged to Lisa, visits his former classmates and tells Lew he respects him for his sense of ethics. A new class of interns arrives and Lew shows them the way to their dormitory, just as a doctor did for him the previous year.
‘Oh gross, manure.’ 
‘We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.’ 
Now for the poop part of the story, Once Mother gets a notion in her head, she can not be side-tracked. Mother and I stopped in at the grocery store one morning. As we made our way back to my vehicle, I spotted a dignified elderly gentleman hurriedly making his way back to his own car parked adjacent to mine. He seemed to be in some distress, so I slowed my place to stay out of his way. As he sidled past me, I got a whiff and realized the reason for his scurrying. I slowed my pace and acted distracted to give him time to get to his car and save his dignity.
Nutsrok 