A carload of hunters, looking for a place to hunt, pulled into a farmers yard. The driver went up to the farmhouse to ask permission to hunt. The old farmer said, “Sure you can hunt, but would you do me a favor? That old mule standing over there is 20 years old and sick with cancer, but I don’t have the heart to kill her. Would you do it for me?”

The hunter said, “Sure,” and headed for the car.

While walking back, however, he decided to pull a trick on his hunting buddies. He got into the car and when they asked if the farmer had said OK, he said “No, we can’t hunt here, but I’m going to teach that old cuss a lesson.” With that, he rolled down his window, stuck his gun out and blasted the mule.

As he exclaimed, “There, that will teach him!” a second shot rang out from the passenger side. And, one of his hunting buddies shouted out, “I got his cow!”

A guy gets on an airplane and finds himself sitting next to a talking duck.

A gorgeous young stewardess comes by and asks the guy and the duck if they would like anything to drink.

“I would like a cup of coffee, please,” says the guy.

“And I’d like a can of beer, you ugly pig!” shouts the duck.

The stewardess goes and gets a can of beer for the duck. But she is so shaken by the duck’s rudeness that she forgets the guy’s coffee.

When the stewardess comes back and gives the beer to the duck, the guy notices that she has forgotten his coffee. “Excuse me,” he says politely. “I ordered a cup of coffee, but you seem to have forgotten it.”

“Yea, you piece of s\*\*t!” yells the duck. “And bring me another beer, you stupid f\*\*king mule!”

The stewardess walks away, thinking about how the duck is swearing now. Once again, she remembers the beer but forgets the coffee.

When the stewardess comes back, the guy figures that if rudeness and swearing have gotten the duck what he wants, maybe it will also get him what he wants. “Listen, you dumb f\*\*king b\*\*ch”, he says. “Twice I’ve ordered a coffee, and twice you’ve forgotten my coffee. Now bring me my coffee, you fat cow!”

The stewardess loses her patience. She grabs the guy and the duck out of their seats. Then, with one powerful kick, she kicks open the emergency exit and throws the guy and the duck out of the plane.

As they are falling, the duck says to the guy, “You know, you have a pretty big mouth for a guy who can’t fly.”