Happy Homecoming

Our big guy, Croc, was so glad to see us after our three day trip, He’s always unhappy to see the suitcases come out but feels better after learning, Kylie, his dog sitter will be staying with him and his brother, Izzy.

Croc came to live with us about six years ago. His original owner was a forty-year-old man in South Carolina who died suddenly. Grandma, an eighty-year-old lady, was overwhelmed by his rowdiness. Sadly, she had to return him to the shelter. Since it was winter, Croc was sent to New Jersey, which had a dearth of adoptable dogs in winter. A relative’s family gave him his next home. Their tiny NJ yard was inadequate. Croc caused a ruckus, disturbing the peace of the neighborhood.

We’d learned to love him, so brought him home with us. We were concerned about how he’d get along with our old American Eskimo dog but they became friends at first sight. Croc just adores children. When we are lucky enough to have a young visitor, he tries to claim them for himself.

Out of Town

I’ve neglected my writing the last few days for the best of reasons. I’ve been out of town for a a family holiday. We gathered with family at one of Bud’s last remaining aunt’s home in Kansas. Family members ranged between five weeks and past ninety years in age. As you’d expect, everybody brought their finest food. As always, the macaroni and cheese and chocolate cake disappeared first. The weather was perfect, balmy and pleasant.

Aunt Beulah’s yard was perfectly groomed with plenty of shade and tempting seating spots. Everyone spent the day outdoors as we admired the baby, noted how big the children were getting, watched budding romances, and teased cousins about getting old. There were eighty-eight relatives and friends present. I don’t think I could gather a crowd like that if my life depended on it. Aunt Beulah is obviously well-loved. It was like dozens of family gatherings I’ve attended over the years. Bud’s aunt is nearing ninety with all the first cousins Bud romped with in the seventies, far past romping. They brought out all their stories of hijinks and amped them up. It was a perfect day!

Some of the cousins
Aunts Anita and Beulah

Far From Home

Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.

I am not a world traveler, though I’d love to be. Banff, Canada is the farthest I’ve been from home. we spent a week there seeing the sights. It was exceedingly beautiful. I’d love to live there, in summer, though I’m sure I’d be overwhelmed by the challenges of winter. I don’t believe I’d ever get saturated with the mountains, glaciers, wildlife, or pristine waters. It’s beauty is always in the back of my mind.

Chiropractor Jokes

  • I never believed that chiropractors could solve my back problems…. 2 weeks later I stand corrected.
  • What do you call a chiropractor that loves his job?… a crack addict
  • Anyone need some old copies of Chiropractor Monthly?… I have a lot of back issues.
  • “But Quasimodo, what makes you think you need to see a chiropractor?” “Oh it’s just a hunch…”
  • Why was the chiropractor a good interrogator? He always got the suspect to crack
  • I broke up with my chiropractic girlfriend. She was too manipulative
  • My chiropractor is serious as hell. But he still cracks me up
  • How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but it will take about 8-10 visits
  • What do you call two chiropractors who’ve got each others back? Vertebros
  • Why did the chiropractor go bankrupt? He owed too much in back taxes

Uncle Albutt Part 2

Uncle Albert was the only person I ever knew who never attended school at all.  He couldn’t write or read a word.  I remember seeing him bring documents for Mother to read and interpret and pen his replies.  He was the first person I ever saw make an X mark for his signature. Mother wrote his name afterward and witnessed it. I was filled with awe that a person had never attended school.  Mother filled out his income tax returns for him every year.

Uncle Albert was very shrewd in his accounts, despite his lack of education.  He handled his business affairs skillfully, requiring no assistance.  He was a skilled trader.  I remember hearing him tell Daddy how he left the house one morning with a goat to barter and after several trades, came home with a shotgun and box of shells.  I never knew him to hold public employment.   He farmed forty acres more than fifty years, providing a living for him and his wife.  He paid cash, bartered, or did without.  The whole time I knew him, he drove a nineteen forty-eight Ford pickup truck.  He and Aunt Jewel smoked Prince Albert Tobacco and rolled their own cigarettes when money was tight, and bought Raleigh cigarettes when they were flush.  Aunt Jewel saved Raleigh Cigarette coupons for prizes.  From time to time, she’d show off a fancy vase or pair of pillowcases. I never knew of them being without cigarettes of some sort.

Daddy was always honored when Uncle Albert and Aunt Jewel came to visit.  One evening, Mother cooked our favorite, fried chicken.  We never got enough of her fried chicken, particularly the crisp scrambles of flour that dropped off during the frying.  Knowing this, Mother scraped up every crisp bit and put it on the platter with the chicken.  After the chicken was devoured, she divided those scrambles among the kids.  They were delicious, a highly anticipated treat.  That evening, the chicken platter passed from on end of the table to the other several times.  Uncle Albert liked Mother’s chicken, too.  As he forked  the last piece, the unthinkable happened.  He tipped the platter up and poured all those beautiful scrambled bits onto his plate.  Our eyes were huge with horror.  Surely he hadn’t just scooped up all the best all for himself!  He had!  Mother shushed us with a look as he noisily crunched and chomped through the pile.  A more heartbreaking sound was never heard.   In just a few seconds, he finished off our stolen treat, then burped his appreciation, wiped his mouth, leaned back his chair and remarked, “That’s the best part of the chicken.  I ain’t never got enough.”

We knew just how he felt.