Two friends met in the street. One looked sad and almost on the verge of tears. The other man said, “Hey my friend, how come you look like the whole world has caved in?”
      
      The sad fellow said, “Let me tell you. Three weeks ago, an uncle died and left me 50-thousand dollars.” 
      
      “That’s not bad at all…!” 
      
      “Hold on, I’m just getting started. Two weeks ago, a cousin I never knew kicked-the-bucket and left me 95-thousand, tax-free to boot.”
      
      “Well, that’s great! I’d like that.”
      
      “Last week, my grandfather passed away. I inherited almost a million.” 
      
      “So why are so glum?”
      
      “This week – nothing!”

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work…

Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a baseball.”

Man – “That’s nice.”

Boy – “Want to buy it?”

Man – “No, thanks.”

Boy – “My dad’s outside.”

Man – “OK, how much?”

Boy – “$150” 

Man – “Sold.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy – “Dark in here.”

Man – “Yes, it is.”

Boy – “I have a Wilson infielder’s glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,”How much?”

Boy – “$350”

Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your gloves, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my glove.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The boy says, “$500” The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that crap again, you’re in my closet now.”

Four religious men of the cloth go on a fishing trip…

That night in the fish house they decide to confess their greatest sin to each other. The Catholic priest says, “my greatest sin is lust. I look at porn constantly online and when I can I have crazy sex with parishioners.” The Rabbi says “my sin is greed. I never give to charities and sometimes steal from the Temple.” The Islamic imam says, “my sin is gluttony. At least once a week I go to the liquor store for a six-pack and then head to McDonalds in the middle of the night and get a big bag of Big Macs, Bacon cheese burgers and fries and eat and drink it all while sitting in the parking lot.” The Baptist minister says, “My greatest sin is gossip and I can’t wait to get back to town!”