As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back-country.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost; and being a typical man I didn’t stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch .I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn’t know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I’ve never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low my heart was full.

As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say,

” I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”

Emma tapped on the door, explaining before she even got in. “I can’t stay.  Me and Rufus is on the way to town.  Nellie Mason told me your cow was dry, so I brung you some butter and two gallons of milk for the youguns.  If it turns before they finish it, you might have enough for a churning.  Can I bring you anything from town? ”

“Thank you, but no.  This milk and butter are sure welcome. Are you sure you cain’t set awhile?  I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee with a friend.  It gets mighty quiet with Joe gone all day.”  Anya longed for the comfort of a woman’s company.

“No, Rufus is a’waitin’ in the wagon.  I better get on, but I sure wish you’d ride over with Joe Saturday when he comes to help Rufus fix the windmill.  I could kill a chicken an’ make some dumplings.  We could have some good woman talk.”  Emma’s eyes crinkled.  “Is Joe proud about the baby?”

“Oh, I ain’t told him yet.  I been spottin’ some and I’m afeared I may not carry it.  I don’t want him to worry if they ain’t no need.”  Anya had no idea how that spilled out.

“I’ve sorrowed over that.  I lost two between Martha and Melvin.  I’ll pray for you.”  She gave Anya a warm hug.

Tears sprung to Anya’s eyes at her friend’s kindness.  “I thank you, Emma.  I’d be proud to see you on Saturday.”

“That will be something to look forward to.  See you then.”  Anya followed Emma into the yard and waved as the Menlo’s wagon rattled off.

 

One of my Cousin Kat’s best friends was Don Waters who ran the funeral home.  Truth be told, he was probably sweet on her. She needed to go to Mason City to see her eye doctor when Don mentioned he had to make the trip to pick up a body at the airport. Cousin Kat was tight as Dick’s hatband and not a bit squeamish about a little thing like riding with a  body. Turns ou it was Mabel Peter’s who she’d ridden to work with for over twenty years.  

Surely Mabel, dead would be less aggravating than Mabel, alive. There was no reason in the world to waste her high-priced gasoline driving over the mountain when she could ride along with Don and Mabel.  The hearse’s passenger side door didn’t work, but Don never gotten it fixed since he rarely had a live passenger. Mabel had gone off to live with her daughter in Medford till the diabetes got her.

They left early.  Don’s hearse was quite comfortable, but a mite cool for her tastes.  She was glad she’d brought a sweater along.  Good thing Mabel had always been hot-natured.  It used to make Cousin Kat mad how she wouldn’t turn on the heater in her car  till it was nearly freezing.  “You know how stout folks are.”

Don was a big guy and moved a little slow for her tastes. She got a few strange looks climbing out the back door of the hearse at the eye doctor’s when she got tired of waiting on Don to let her out the driver’s side. You’d think folks never saw a woman climbing out of a hearse.

Don waited while she had her eyes checked, then they went to lunch.  Always interested in what was going on, at the airport, she climbed out of the back of the hearse and followed Don into the cargo area.  Mabel’s coffin was being bumped and jostled to the loading dock just as they got there. Prior to signing the receipt, Don lifted the coffin lid, tiny cousin Cat crowding right in beside him to see how Mabel looked.  No Mabel!

“She ain’t in here!  She must’a dumped out on th’ way!”  A plane could be seen taxiing for take off.

“0h $;@”:#%+!  Somebody stop ’em!  They lost the stiff!”  one of the workers shouted.

Meanwhile Cousin Kat’s nosiness paid off.  She spotted a little something in the coffin.  Pointing it out to Don Waters, he lifted the lower panel of the coffin where Mabel’s leg-less body had slid during transport, making the coffin initially appear empty.

After retrieving what was left Mabel, Don and Cousin Kat were on their way.  Cousi Kate was well satisfied with her adventure.  She’d gotten a free ride to Mason City, Don had bought her lunch, she’d seen how bodies were shipped. Best of all, she was the first in the neighborhood to know the lowdown on Mabel.