What’s your dream job?
My dream job would be working in a bookstore as a book consultant for a couple of hours Wednesday afternoons of my choice.
Month: January 2025
The Bear, the Princess, and the Hearing Aid
Papa Bear doted on his only daughter, Princess Bear, who was not only beautiful, but sweet, gentle, and wise. He adored her, trying hard to give her all she needed for a good life. He rocked her, ran behind her on her bicycle to catch her, lest she fall, dried her tears, and brushed her long, curly fur, never tugging at tangles. He tucked her in at night, dreading the day she’d leave his cave.
One day, his lovely Princess Bear ventured out into the wood. Young bears started to coming to pay court to her. Papa Bear asked, “Please bring your friends home to meet me.” Of course, she didn’t really care for the idea, but since she loved Papa Bear, and he was so kind, she did as he asked.
One evening, she brought yet another young bear to the cave to meet Papa Bear. “Pleased to meet you, Sir. I’ll have her home by eleven.” He said in an extraordinarily nicey, nice bear voice.
“Grrrrr.” said Papa Bear. “I’ll be waiting for you at nine-thirty.” They were home at nine-twenty eight.
“I didn’t really like him,” said the Princess Bear the next morning. “Something about him was a unbearable.”
“Oh, well,” said Papa Bear. “Sometimes that just happens.”
In a few minutes, there was a knock at the cave door. “I don’t want to see you again. Don’t call on me anymore.” Princess Bear closed the door.
Seconds later, a second knock sounded. “I told you. I don’t want to see you again!” Papa Bear was right behind his little Princess, not the sound of any of it.
He asked her, “Is that young bear bothering you? At her nod, he stepped from behind her, speaking to the pushy young bear, quite gruffly. “Princess Bear doesn’t ever want to see you or speak to you again. Now, if you’re having trouble understanding that, I’ll be happy to meet you in the woods and explain it!”
The young bear understood Papa Bear perfectly. He had just needed a hearing aid.
Screaming Green Slime
You’d expect daily pandemonium in a household of seven but wait! Like those infomercials on TV, we got two for the price of one! And at no extra charge, Daddy and I both walked and talked in our sleep. Most people have experience with people talking in their sleep, but sleep-walking less common. The sleep-walker doesn’t look like the ones in Continue reading
Good Leader
What makes a good leader?
To be concise, a good leader must be competent, responsible, organized, and above all inspire the respect of staff by delegating appropriately without micromanaging.
Old is When/Joke of the Day
OLD” IS WHEN… Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Pick one, I can’t do both!”
“OLD” IS WHEN.. Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.
“OLD” IS WHEN…. A sexy babe catches your eye and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
“OLD” IS WHEN… Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
“OLD” IS WHEN. You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting a little action” means I don’t need to take any fiber today.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. “Getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
“OLD” IS WHEN….. An “all-nighter” means not getting up to pee.
Screaming Green Slime
You’d expect daily pandemonium in a household of seven but wait! Like those infomercials on TV, we got two for the price of one! And at no extra charge, Daddy and I both walked and talked in our sleep. Most people have experience with people talking in their sleep, but sleep-walking less common. The sleep-walker doesn’t look like the ones in Continue reading
My Inventions
If you could un-invent something, what would it be?
I have invented a few nifty things. Sadly, some smart-alec always beat me to it. I invented a nesting meatloaf pan with holes in the bottom to drain into its companion pan below. Next, I invented a counter-top kitchen computer for recipes and all kinds of cooking information. Ditto!
Finally, I got smart and started looking on Amazon before putting too much effort into my inventive plans. Most of the time my items are already on there and can be delivered tomorrow.
I need to sue Amazon for idea theft.
The Dead Pony, the Warped Kid, and the World’s Most Horrible Mother
The phone rang one day. Without introduction, I heard the familiar, deep voice of one of my son’s friends. “Miss Linda, is that story about the pony true?”
“Yep!” The last thing I heard was gales of laughter as I hung up.
If you are the sensitive type, skip this story.
Many years ago when my son was young, we were hauling a load of tree trimmings to the landfill. As my husband backed the truck up to unload, I spotted a dead pony, bloated with all four legs stuck up in the air. Without thinking, I said, “Hey, John. Do you want a pony?”
Of course he said, “Yes!”
“Well, there’s one right over there!”
“Wahhh!!!!!”
I swear it was not intentional. Sometimes I think there is a disconnect between my brain and my mouth!
This is for you, Lee Perkins
Loved
Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?
I have been fortunate to be loved by family and friends but purest and sweetest love I’ve ever experienced is the wondrous love of my little ones seeking me out when they first awakened. I’d hear their little feet padding along as they dragged their blankets along looking for Mommy. We’d sit, wrapped together, enjoying the warmth. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to reach back and relive that treasured moment?
Nutsrok 