Twenty-Seven Biscuits

image imageMother made twenty-seven biscuits for breakfast most mornings. The number wasn’t intentional; that was just how it worked out.   Her recipe wasn’t measured, just experience.  She started out by hollowing out a hole in the flour in her big biscuit-making bowl into which she plopped out shortening scooped by hand straight from the eight pound can and poured in an indeterminate pool of fresh cow milk.  Bravely plunging her right hand in, she squished the glob of shortening through her fingers, working it round till it gathered just enough flour.  She worked the dough carefully, never using all the flour,  thereby letting the gooey mixture adhere to the bottom of the bowl. I thought that looked horrible and never mastered the age-old biscuit making technique that had probably come to her through many generations.

Once she was satisfied with her mix, she tossed it a time or two to coat with flour, and started pinching off biscuits, which she gave a quick roll or two in her hands before placing smooth side up on her biscuit pan. Finally, she buttered the top of each so they’d brown nicely and popped them in the hot oven.  About twenty minutes later, biscuits!  She always ended up with twenty-seven, though she never measured.  They were wonderful.  The flour-filled biscuit-bowl was covered and went back into the cabinet till the next baking, which would be supper if she didn’t make cornbread.
I am a biscuit-making coward.  I measure and mix my ingredients in a bowl, dust them with a handful of flour, then pinch them off and roll them out in my hands.  I spray them with cooking spray rather than dipping a spoon in melted butter to butter the tops, but they are still pretty good. 

Age-Old Biscuit Recipe 

(Can be easily doubled or tripled)

Preheat oven to 420 degrees

2 ½ cups self-rising flour (For plain, add 1 ½ teaspoon baking powder and ¼ teaspoon salt PER cup)

½ cup vegetable shortening or softened butter

¾ cup milk (I prefer undiluted fat-free evaporated canned milk.  Note:  this is not the sweetened condensed kind that goes in desserts)

Cooking spray

Mix 2 ¼ cups self-rising flour with shortening or butter.  Stir in up to ¾ cups milk to make gooey, not drippy dough.  Should be about the consistency of mashed potatoes.  Use remaining ¼ cup to dust top of dough, turn dust again.  Pinch out small handful, about ½ cup and roll a time or two in your floured palms.  Turn best side up on greased baking pan.  Spray tops with vegetable or butter spray to enhance browning.  Bake at 450 for 12-15 minutes on center rack. Done when tops are starting to brown nicely and browning can be seen around edges.  Should yield 8-10 biscuits.

These can be rolled out on lightly floured surface and cut with a biscuit cutter if you prefer.  Don’t waste leftover dough.  Roll into strips, butter and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar and bake for five minutes.  Wonderful treat.  I have made entire batch into cinnamon sugar strips for a treat.  Watch carefully to keep from burning.

If you can stand the health risk, put your bacon in on a rack on a cookie sheet to bake on at the same time as your biscuits.  It will all come out perfect at the same time.

If you have leftovers reheat in microwave or slice in half, butter, and toast under broiler.

The previous part of the story was the easy part.  We lived on a farm.  There were five of us children ranging from thirteen to newborn.  From my earliest memories, Mother had to be up by five-thirty to get the biscuits in.  The cow would be bawling to be milked by six.  Daddy never milked.  He said the Bible said a man couldn’t take what he couldn’t give.  He never quoted the chapter and verse, but he knew it was in there.  The Bible said a lot of stuff that worked to suit him, but that’s a story for another day.

Anyway, Mother had to milk at six and get back in the house to have breakfast on the table and get things moving before the babies got up and the big kids got on the schoolbus.

That must have been so hard for Mother having to be up and out so early.  I was grown, caring for my family before I understood how hard.

 

 

Sausage Biscuit

What snack would you eat right now?

If someone showed up at my door right now with a sausage biscuit right now, there is no way I could say “No.” Even better, nothing compares to a homemade biscuit hot out of the oven. When I was a kid, Mother made biscuits twice a day. At the time, I had no idea how hard that was for her. Thank you, Mother

Big Jake

When I traveled in the Yukon Territory. I would often stop by this trading post/bar/restaurant and got to know the owner. One night he asked me if I could watch the place while he took food to a sick friend.

“Sure!”, I said.

Everything is humming along, suddenly a man burst through the door,

“Run for your lives! Big Jake’s coming!”.

Oh, crap. The place cleared out, I am hiding behind the bar when I hear the rumble of a Snowcat (big tank-like vehicle with bulldozer treads). The door slams open and a HUGE man covered in bearskins stomps into the place.

”Gimme a keg!!”.

I roll the keg from the walk-in refrigerator, he jams the tapper into it and sprays it into his face and mouth. When it was empty, I meekly asked him if he wanted another, he yells,

“You kiddin’ me? I’m outta here, Big Jake is coming!!”

Grandpa’s Dead!

My cousin Barbara was an only child wise enough to be born to older parents continuously thrilled at their creation. They indulged her in everything, the way my parents should have done me, understanding she was precious and needed protection from life’s hard edges. They all lived the house with Grandma and Grandpa so it was going to be a challenge to Continue reading

Business

Come up with a crazy business idea.

Coming up with a business idea would be crazy. I am happily retired.

https://youtu.be/FesdHsdHI4E?si=ofhnNZBKCU16q9uT

Childhood Dress Mishaps and Playground Tales

When I was a kid, I hated wearing dresses since they interfered with my fun. I got sick of hearing” Keep your dress tail down.” “Girls don’t…..” “Sit with your knees together.” “Fix your clothes. Your dress is over your head!” I should have paid more attention to that last one.

Back in the good old days before anybody cared about safety, our school playground had one of those towering slides that a kid could actually fall off of and kill himself if he weren’t careful. All of us were competitively seeking death, so every one of those twenty-plus steps had a couple of kids jostling for position. I had become socially aware enough to hold my dress down having experienced the boys on the ground sing out that ever popular ditty.

“I see London.
I see France.
I see Linda’s underpants!”

Anyway, when I finally got my turn, knowing dawdling was not tolerated, I quickly tucked my skirt tail safely under me as the kid behind me gave me a shove. I felt a tug at my waist and heard that deadly ripping sound that signaled that, once again, I had destroyed yet another item of clothing, big trouble at home.

“Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

Before I’d processed all that, I heard ecstatic laughter of thrilled kids. I flew off the bottom of the slide, shocked to find myself standing in only my slip and the tattered remains of my dress bodice. The joyous boys were sing songing and pointing out the remains of my skirt fluttering from the top of the slide.

Fully expecting the teacher would contrive some method of dispatching me homeward, I was devastated when the pragmatic old lady wrapped my skirt around me, bath-towel style and pinned it to my slip with gigantic safety pins, instructing me, “Put your sweater on. This will do till you get home.” That was the first time I ever wished for another dress.

By the close of of school, my dilemma no longer interested my class, but the bus ride home afforded the raucous riders plenty to hoot about. I burst in the door at home, seeking solace. Before I could even launch into my suffering, Mother beat me too it. “Oh no! You’ve torn up another dress! That’s the first time you wore it! Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

I don’t know why she didn’t just send me to school wearing a barrel.

Blogs I Follow

http://breezybooksblog.wordpress.com/

Please check out my friend Maggie’s blog. I just got acquainted with her. She’s is a brilliant writer and keeps me in stitches. She is the reason for this post. Maggie recommends we introduce bloggers we like. I will be doing this more often. I am presenting initially from my frequent commenters so I will be getting to so many more of you in the coming days.

http://bluebirdofbitterness.wordpress.co

https://bluebirdofbitterness.com/2025/01/08/advertisements-from-long-long-ago-ultrasexy-menswear-edition-11/ Try this humor blog. It starts my day just right!

http://lookingforthelight.blog/

Looking for the Light is a Health and Lifestyle blog with so much information on various topics. I love it(

http://jcrhumming.wordpress.com/

janetweightreed10

Bio: I have been a working artist for over forty years. I am best known for my love of colour and spontaneous style.

Do yourself a favor and checkout Janet’s art blog. It really excites me.

http://midwestmary.wordpress.com/

Finding the Extraordinary in 
Ordinary, Everyday Life

Every time I read Mary’s blog I know I’m with a friend.

http://amehrling.com/

Anne blogs about life in North Carolina. Her descriptions of her days always leave me wanting more.

http://lovelifewithdawna.wordpress.com/

Dawna blogs frequently about dealing with her life impacted by Jehovah’s Witness. She is a tough, tender loving person. I learn so much from every post.

Please check my friends out. I will be getting to more soon.

Love at First Sight

Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?

It was true love when I found this little guy under the Christmas tree. He was my constant companion. He was part of every game, sat on the chair with me while I ate, and slept with me. I even sneaked him into the bath with me, a hard lesson since it took him a couple of days to dry on the clothes line.

He tragically went missing one day. My search was futile. I moved on. Long afterwards, I found his tattered remains in the yard where the dogs had destroyed him. My heart broke all over.