Month: March 2025

The Joy of Eavesdropping

imageCaution you may be offended. Contains adult content!

We all have different parenting styles.

I overheard a hilarious phone conversation a furious friend and co-worker had with her teenage daughter at work one day. (repeated verbatim)

“Kaylee, You been gittin’ in my drawers!”

Pause

“Yes you have! I can tell you been diggin’ around in there! Them’s f___ing panties! Is you f____ing!”

She slammed the phone down. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do with that little ‘ho! I can’t keep her out of my f___ing panties”

I was rolling on the floor, laughing.

Gardening

What activities do you lose yourself in?

I get totally caught up in gardening. Once I get my hands in the dirt, I lose track of time. I love the smell, the texture, everything about playing in the dirt. I usually stay with it till Disturbed by ants.

Old Folks

When My Dog Stole Dentures: A Funny Guest Story

We had an edentulate guest for the last few days. I wouldn’t have otherwise noticed or mentioned this had my little dog not gotten involved. When my guest took her afternoon nap, she opted for comfort and modestly wrapped her dentures in a paper towel and tucked them in her slipper for safe-keeping. Izzy found this fascinating and investigated. He helped himself to the little packet and cuddled up with it in his bed where he hides all his treasures. When my guest awoke and found she’d been robbed, we instigated a search and his prize was confiscated.

How selfish of her!

Lassie

What TV shows did you watch as a kid?

I needed Lassie. I was sure if I’d had Lassie I could tackle anything that came my way. Timmy was such a dope, always falling in a well, getting in a mine cave-in, or getting stuck high in a tree. I could clearly see the danger that he was headed for, putting Lassie to the trouble of bailing Timmy out. If she wasn’t staring down a mountain lion, or nudging a branch toward Timmy stuck in quicksand, she’d race home in record time to bring back help. Can you imagine what she’d have accomplished had she been blessed with vocal cords and opposable thumbs?

Her Facts Didn’t Run

Our school was tiny. So tiny that even with two grades sharing a room and teacher, there were still usually less than fifteen students in the two grades.  The good news was, if you didn’t learn everything you should have in second grade math, you got another crack at it in third grade while the new second grade covered the same material.  Though each class used different books, the lessons sounded much the same. Continue reading →

TV

What movies or TV series have you watched more than 5 times?

I have watched Andy Griffith a lot. I feel at home in Mayberry.

Magic Circle

Shay woke early between Kay-Lonnie and Lena but their eyes were already open, waiting for her. They never wiggled till she woke, seeming to breathe the same air, thinking the same thoughts. Susie pulled the quilt over her curly head on the other side of the big bed, grumping about Shay’s cold feet. Shay, Kay-Lonnie and Lena padded barefoot to the kitchen, hugged Mama from behind and found their places at the table as Mama set out Shay’s Campbell Soup Kids’ mug of milk and Minnie Mouse Mug for Kay-Lonnie and Lena to share since they never drank much. After their toast and jam, Shay finished off the milk, helped them wipe their faces, push their chairs in place without screeching and carried their dishes to Mama at the sink. “You’re such a good girl. Oh, and Kay-Lonnie and Lena, too.” Mama smiled.

Racing to the barn, they got there just as Daddy finished milking Jessie. “Heh! Cookie! What got you out so early?” Continue reading →

Frequent Flyers

Are you superstitious?

As a nurse for thirty years, I was deeply superstitious in one way. On my unit, we had patients who had frequent admissions to the hospital due to their poor health and complex health problems. We made it a point not to mention a patient by name or they were sure to be the next admitted.