I Love this!

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Hilarious!

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Retire

How do you want to retire?

I am retired. I spend my days gardening, writing, doing whatever I want. Retirement is excellent. Except for the part about needing money, I should have done it at eighteen. I recommend it to anyone.

Andrew and Molly Part 29

Just as Molly got the little ones settled, pounding thundered at the back door, Andrew demanded angrily. “Why did you send the baby away? He was thriving here with Rosemarie to nurse him.”

Molly’s Irish temper blazed. How dare he rebuke her again? This was only the second time he’d talked to her since he’d gotten back, bringing that nameless baby to boot. She’d kept hoping he’d make an opportunity to make time to come by an talk to her in private but he’d kept to himself. After a day of rest and several good meals at Aggie’s he was looking more like the man she married. It infuriated her to see that hussy, Rosemarie, cutting her eyes at him and making excuses to take the baby and slip out. If she weren’t watched, she’d soon have another baby under her apron. True, Andrew hadn’t seemed to notice Rosemarie but she remembered his shyness when she first set her cap for him. He quickly became an ardent and eager lover.

With all these thoughts racing through her head, she lashed out at him,“ Unless there’s something you have not revealed, this is not your affair. I did all I should have for that pitiful waif. The Reverend Bennett rebuked me for not having had the child baptized yet. He should know I’m Catholic, not of his church. I sent Rosemarie and the baby for him to deal with. I have more work and expense than I can handle. Now, with Bartles gone, my load is heavier than ever. Let the church take care of that baby! I have sufficient troubles of my own!”

As they stared furiously at each other, Aggie spoke from behind them, “Enough!”

Her Facts Didn’t Run

Our school was tiny. So tiny that even with two grades sharing a room and teacher, there were still usually less than fifteen students in the two grades.  The good news was, if you didn’t learn everything you should have in second grade math, you got another crack at it in third grade while the new second grade covered the same material.  Though each class used different books, the lessons sounded much the same. Continue reading

Andrew and Molly Part 28

Molly stared with fury at the reverend. “Perhaps you are right! This is not my child and his care has put me to a good deal of trouble. I already have three children. Out of concern for this nameless baby, I took him in but clearly he would be better off elsewhere. I’ll tell Rosemarie to ready him for travel and the two of them can go with you!”

“No! No! No!” protested Reverend Bennett. I can’t take charge. My wife is sickly and can’t care for a baby.”

“Rosemarie can care for the child. All you have to do is provide room and board and deal with The Assembly concerning Rosemarie. I will be glad to have both off my hands. My thanks to you.” Having had her say, she returned home and left the reverend sputtering.

Walking in her kitchen door, she snapped at Rosemarie. “Get yours and the baby’s things. You’re moving to Reverend Bennett’s. He’ll be expecting you.”

Rosemarie burst into tears. “I can’t stand that old man. Can’t I stay here?”

Molly’s anger made her cruel. “I guess you can go back to jail if you prefer. You can work that out with the Reverend and the Assembly. You need to hurry to get there before dark.”

In a few minutes, Rosemarie left with the baby and her poor few belongings. The children wailed at seeing them go. “Children, hush! I told you the baby was not ours to keep. The reverend is going to try to find his family. Wouldn’t you be sad if you lost your family?” This did little to mollify them.

Lucky Miss

This gigantic oak tree fell the other night. There was no wind. It was just time. We will be spending the next few days cutting it up and hauling it off. Fortunately, it did not damage my flowerbed. I still have plenty of shade.

Spring

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

Spring is my favorite season. Seeing green again after the bleakness of winter is always a miracle. Even though I’ve experienced so many, the first daffodil thrills me like it’s first ever. I can hardly wait to dig in the dirt. When I brush away dead leaves and see a hyacinth pushing up, I am ecstatic. I celebrate every year.

Woman’s Work is Never Done

 

“Them that don’t work, don’t eat.” We must have looked like a hungry bunch because Daddy made sure we worked.  Farm work was a regular thing, but when Daddy had invited folks in for a holiday, he kicked it into high gear.  The place had to be groomed; brush cut, fence rows cleaned out, fields bush hogged.  It was always good to have something new lined up to show progress; another few acres cleared, some pecan trees planted, a new field fenced.  It wouldn’t do to have folks thinking we’d been just lying about.

Work was divided into “Man’s Work” and “Woman’s Work.”  Women were lucky.  As far as “Man’s Work,” Daddy believed in equal opportunity.  Womenfolk were expected to work right alongside the men, just as hard and long.  Due to our lesser strength and inferior expertise, however, we couldn’t be expected to handle complex tasks involving tractor driving, bush hogging, and equipment use, when there was lesser manual work to be relegated to peons. We were, however, excellent candidates for piling brush, chopping bushes, and wielding simple tools such as hoes, post-hole diggers, shovels, and wheelbarrows.  Fetching and carrying were our forte!

Fortunately for the girls, once we had labored long and hard with Daddy, we were free to pursue “Woman’s Work”; that would be cooking dinner after a long day’s work.  As often as not, Mother worked alongside us, so “Woman’s Work” started after “Man’s Work” was complete.  “Man’s Work” was over at the end of daylight.  Men couldn’t cook, clean, do laundry, or milk cows.  Fortunately for men, according to Daddy, there was some obscure Bible verse I never heard quoted or referenced anywhere else, that said, “Thou canst not take what thou cannot give.”  He also hinted at possible hormone issues.  How’s that for rustication?  I often felt sorry for Daddy and Billy as they collapsed at the end of a long day while we were cooking and cleaning.  They must have felt just awful.

Anyway, back to the holiday.  Once we’d worked like fiends preparing, the long-awaited guests arrived, amid compliments on the resort-like beauty of the farm.  “I wish I lived here.  It looked so restful.” (You should have been here the last week!)  Daddy’s mood was effusive.  He was a wonderful host.  “Get Aunt Lou some more coffee and cake!”  “We’re running low on iced tea out here.”  He’d charm my cousins.  They’d be riding horses, riding the zip-line running from a tall elm to way past the pond, and swimming in the pond.  It must have looked like a theme park to poor, deprived children who had to lie about watching cartoons, riding bicycles, playing with friends, and drinking Kool Aid all the time.  I felt so badly for them when they’d say, “I wish he was my daddy!”  So did I!