If you didn’t need sleep, what would you do with all the extra time?
I enjoy very vivid dreams so I would miss that part of my life. I often bring what goes on in my awake life into my dream life so it’s not uncommon for me to come away with enhanced understanding of troublesome situations. Also, many of my dreams are ludicrous so I enjoy them. I believe they replace the play I enjoyed as a child. Even if I remember a miserable dream, I can usually trace it back to a situation I need to explore. I would miss sleep.
Anya was shaking as she sat gripping the water glass, looking as though she might faint. Joe took Sally from the sling, putting her on the floor.
“I ain’t no whore! My stepmother handed me off to that devil to get me out of her man’s way. I had no say than a cow or hog off to slaughter. He tied me up and hauled me off in that damned peddler’s wagon. He beat me and passed me around when he needed a bottle. That last night, he got drunk enough I was able to get to his pistol and fire a shot off at him. I think I missed and finished him off with a shovel. He would have killed me if I hadn’t gotten away, but I’m not a whore.” She was furious now, clinching and unclenching her fists. “I’d kill him again, if I could after all he done to me!”
Joe didn’t speak for a long time. “So that’s how you come to be here.” Pausing, he went on. “Thank God the creek was high and we couldn’t get to Meadow Creek for the revival. If you had showed up there, wanting to make a new start, folks would’a had questions after that peddler turned up with a hole in his head. We got to come up with a plan.”
“I didn’t run off from one man just to get stuck out here bein’ your whore. Just because I got nowhere to go don’t mean I gotta take anything off you.” She was furious to be so near tears.
“I don’t want nuthin’ from you except you earn your keep and help out with Sally while you’re here. You’re gonna have to lay low awhile to keep the sheriff off your tail. The preacher is the only one who saw my wife. If we just keep to the place, you ain’t gonna bump into him. I never was one for goin’ to church an’ it ain’t likely he’ll have business way out here. He might not know the difference anyhow. It was dark an’ the woman was wrapped up when we woke him to marry us.
She stared ahead morosely, feeling a prisoner again.
I hate it when healthy people use handicapped parking. I am not referring to people with invisible handicaps. I am speaking of lazy, entitled people. I wonder if if doesn’t occur to them God might say,” You want handicapped acces? Okay”
I hate griping in traffic. It is a totally irritating practice drivers inflict on their passengers.
Selfishness is such an imposition on our family and friends. How right it would be if each person would take responsibility for themselves and do a bit extra.
Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice, “NO, I DON ‘T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed.
After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy ‘s table and said, “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”
The guy then responded with a loud voice, “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT ‘S WAY TOO MUCH!”
All the people in the library looked at the girl in shock.
The guy stood and whispered in her ear, “I study law, and I know how to screw people.”
Once we’d gone enough miles it was unlikely we would be apprehended with bathroom destruction with malice aforethought, I pulled into a nice looking station/store. This one looked like it was progressive enough to have excellent bathroom facilities, which we sorely in needed by now, since Mother was the only one who got to use the restroom at the last stop. For once, she generously, encouraged her daughters to go first, which we lived to regret. I’d have loved to have laid the blame at her door for what we found.
Marilyn, my youngest sister, rushed in to relieve her agonized bladder. In three seconds, she rushed out, “Oh, my gosh! You’ve got to see this!”
She obviously hadn’t had time to take care of any business. As mother of two teen-aged girls, the manager of a call-center, and youngest of five children, it takes something special to rattle her.
Like an idiot, I followed her in. Someone, a very healthy eater by the way, had obviously paid a visit. The nauseating smell of fermented feces greeted us as we entered the bathroom. It was horrendous, but I’ve been known to raise a stink myself.
Upon opening the stall, I saw a perfect liquefied poop sunburst splattered above the toilet. Obviously, someone in great distress had blown a gasket as just as they stooped to settle in for a satisfying moment of quality time alone. The toilet fixtures, the wall behind the toilet, the floor, and the stall wall were covered artistically with a thoroughly natural medium.
It doesn’t bear thinking of the condition of that poor unfortunate perpetrator of the masterpiece as she exited the store! We scurried out to tell the disgusted clerk what we’d found, only to find numerous visitors had already enlightened her. That’s when we learned about the worst job in the world. An industrial service was on its way.
Once more, courting legal problems, we decided to stand guard for each other and use the Men’s Room. Normally, I would have been disgusted, but compared to what we’d just seen, it smelled like a rose.
Dogs are my favorite animals. They are loyal, loving, and easy to keep. They never tire of their dog parents and are so forgiving if I step on a toe. Mine will kiss me before I can even tell them I’m sorry.
When I left you, the infuriated man had just escorted Mother in the convenience store, had a long conversation with her about how much he missed his sainted mother, bought her coffee and a snack, and made sure she knew where the bathroom was. Not a word in my defense dropped from her quivering lips, nor did she explain the situation. I guess it was on a need to know basis and he knew just exactly what she wanted him to know. I wish he’d hung around for the bathroom catastrophe she initiated next.
As I mentioned earlier, Mother’s bathroom stops are leisurely affairs, involving meditation, warm conversation with new friends from the bathroom, and meticulous hand washing. Afterwards she digs lotion from her bag and admires herself in the mirror from every angle. The minimal bathroom break is thirteen minutes. She flew in ahead of the rest of us as we were making our selections in the store, since it was just a one-occupant bathroom. In this than a minute she flew out, wiping her wet hands on her jeans.
“Let’s go! Let’s go!”
“Just as soon as we go to the bathroom.” I protested. “I haven’t been to the bathroom or paid for my stuff.”
“Let’s go, now!” Catching that unmistakable look we’d all seen so many times in the past, we left hurriedly, despite that fact that no one but Mother had taken care of any business. There had to be something terribly amiss. Mother never got in a rush to get out of a store or bathroom.
The story came out as we drove off. After Mother flushed the toilet, the tank kept filling. Ever the good citizen, she removed the tank cover with the intention of jiggling the lever. Overestimating her abilities, she dropped the tank cover into the toilet bowl, shattering both, hence her hasty exit. Water had flooded the bathroom and was pouring out into the hall. As we searched frantically for another rest stop, Mother watched for a police car to pull us over as our full bladders spasmed. I know Mother would have thrown me to the wolves if we’d been apprehended.
Keep in mind, this is only the first bathroom stop on this trip.
Nutsrok 