humor

Best Dog Jokes of the Day

DogcoPilot

#1 Mrs Green’s Dog & her neighbor

Mrs Green was walking to the post office when her neighbor came up to her and said “Hello Janis, How’s your dog? I saw her yesterday chasing an old man on a bike.”

“Oh” said Mrs Green “That could NOT have been my dog”

“Oh, why not?” replied her neighbor “I’m pretty sure it was her”

“Well” stated Mrs. Green smiling “my dog doesn’t ride a bike”

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#2 Seeing Eye Dog

A blind man walks in to a department store with his seeing eye dog on a leash.

The store manager behind the customer service counter looks up, notices the customer is blind, and quickly looks away again.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees the blind man start swinging the dog over his head with its leash. S

hocked, the manager runs over and says, “Mister, is there a problem – is there something I can help you with?” The blind man calmly replies, “No thanks – I’m just looking around.”

#3 – Q: What do dogs call frozen poop?

A: Poopsicles

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#4 Help Wanted

A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, that read:

“HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.”

A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

The manager said, “I can’t hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type.” The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair. The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, “The sign says you have to be good with a computer.”

The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager. By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said, “I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can’t give you the job.”

The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said, “Yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual.”

The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, “Meow.”

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#5 Two Scottish nuns

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.”

“That’s odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. “Two dogs, please,” says one.

The vendor is pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil, and hands them over the counter. Excitedly, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to un-wrap their ‘dogs’.

The mother superior begins to blush and, then, staring at it for a moment, leans to the other nun and whispers cautiously, “What part… did you get…?”

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#6 – Q: What do dogs have that no other animal has?

A: Puppy dogs.

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#7 Clever Dachshund

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost.

So, wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having him for lunch.

The dachshund thinks, “OK, I’m in deep trouble now!” Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by, and immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here.”

Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.

“Whew,” says the leopard. “That was close. That dachshund nearly had me.”

Meanwhile, a monkey, who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes.

But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figured that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine.”

Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and thinks, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet … and, just when they get close enough to hear, the dachshund says…

“Where’s that darn monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring me another leopard.”

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#8 Talking Beagle

A guy was driving around the back woods of Kentucky and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog for Sale’

He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there. ‘You talk?’ he asks. ‘Yep,’ the Beagle replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says

‘So, what’s your story?’

The Beagle looks up and says, ‘Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services… the United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is ‘The Devil Dogs.’

In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired.’

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

‘Ten dollars,’ the guy says.

‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

‘Because he’s such a liar… He never did any of that stuff.

He was in the Navy!’

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#9 Q: How do you keep a dog from barking in your front yard?

A: Put it in your back yard!

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#10 Seeing Eye Dogs

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pincher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pincher says to the guy with the Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.”

The guy with the Doberman Pincher says, “Just follow my lead.”

They walk over to the restaurant. The guy with the Doberman Pincher puts on a pair of dark glasses and he starts to walk in. A guy at the door says, “Sorry man, no pets allowed.”

The guy with the Doberman Pincher says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The guy at the door says, “A Doberman Pincher?”

He says, “Yes, they’re using them now, they’re very good.”

The guy at the door says, “Come on in.”

The guy with the Chihuahua figures “What the hell,” so he puts on a pair of dark glasses and starts to walk in.

The guy at the door says, “Sorry pal, no pets allowed.”

The guy with the Chihuahua says, “You don’t understand. This is my seeing-eye dog.”

The guy at the door says, “A Chihuahua?”

He says, “You mean they gave me a Chihuahua?”

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#11 Bad Dog?

It was the end of the day when a policeman was parking his police van in front of the station. As he gathered his equipment, his K-9 partner, Spike, was barking, and he saw a little boy staring at him.

“Is that a dog you got back there?” the boy asked.

“It sure is,” the policeman replied.

Puzzled, the boy looked at the office and then towards the back of the van. Finally

the boy asked, “So… What’d he do?”

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It’s been a while

Bud and I have been together for 73 years. This is our first photo together. I am the baby on right in fitst row. He is the little boy behind me. The photographer has us facing the sun, so we are shielding our faces. I remember always being posed facing the sun. Who know the rationale behind that?

Bud’s mother came to help out when I was born. She often said she should have pinched my head off when she had a chance. Live and learn. Our families were friends, so we grew up playing together. He was a nice boy, never mean to girls, so I always liked him.

He first started coming to visit on his own when I was seventeen. Our family was generally confused as to whom he was visiting. My sister and I thought he was interested in her, so I went to my room and read. I was always looking for a chance to read, anyway, since Daddy kept us really busy on the farm. My brother thought Bud was coming to see him.

The matter was further complicated since Bud had bashed his left thumb with a 24 lb. hammer . The doctor pushed the ball of his thumb back in place until it was approximately thumb shaped, stitched it to his nail, and splinted it. One week to the day, while he was still splinted, a sprocket fell on his right foot, breaking it. Consequently, he was effectively disabled on the right and left side, though his job kept him on, probably out of guilt. He didn’t feel much like a suitor during this period.

The next week, he pitched his crutches in the back of his truck on the way to the doctor. They blew out. He retrieved them but one had suffered the loss of a rubber tip, not optimal for a lame guy with no grip due to a smushed thumb. Bud managed to hobble in the doctor’s door before hitting a slick tile. One crutch went one way, one the other. Pulling himself up on receptionist’s desk,he inquired “Is there a doctor in the house?” It must have been horrifying to the staff who were trying to remain professional.

So, he did finally live through the indignities of his injuries. All the while, I got a good bit of reading done while Phyllis and Bill courted him. I suppose I was inadvertently playing hard to get. When he eventually got off the crutches, he asked me out. I don’t know which of the Swain kids was most surprised, me, Phyllis, or Billy.

We got married two years later, while we were still in college.

Kathleen Carries On or Breathing In and Out

Mother was widowed at fifty-four. A couple of widowers in their seventies called showing interest. One was an elderly Pentecostal Preacher who showed up with a three-page poem he’d penciled on pages torn from a three ring spiral binder. The kicker was, he’d admired the way she’d waited on Daddy hand and foot. He knew she’d make him a good wife, too. Hard to believe she’d turn down such an attractive offer.

After a time, Mother moved into town and developed a tepid friendship with a neighbor man, Maury. Unfortunately, Maury’s health failed, but not before Mother’s interest in him. She realized then she didn’t want another man friend. When another neighbor man, John, showed interest in Mother, intending to discourage John, she explained she had a friend, Maury, who wasn’t doing too well. Some weeks later, the Maury died. John stopped by a time or two to see how her friend was doing. Evasively, Mother told him. “He’s about the same.” I suppose he’s still “about the same.”

Afterwards, when asked if she’d ever thought of marrying again, Mother always replied,”No, the only thing wrong with men is they keep breathing in and breathing out.”

If you enjoyed Kathleen’s stories, check out her memoir on Amazon. Authored by Linda Bethea Illustrated by Kathleen Swain

Jokes

1. Snail with an attitude
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’

2. A genie and an idiot
Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: ‘I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.’

3. True love lasts forever
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbour says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible….But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbour to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’

4. Off to work
A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’


5. Oooh Heaven is a place on earth
Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn’t hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It’s Irv. ‘So there is an afterlife! What’s it like?’ Sid asks. ‘Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back to sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex, take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep and wake up the next day.’ ‘Oh, my God,’ says Sid. ‘So that’s what heaven is like?’ ‘Oh no,’ says Irv. ‘I’m not in heaven. I’m a bear in Yellowstone Park.’

6. The Devil’s in the details
A guy dies and is sent to hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one to spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in dirt up to their necks. The guy says, ‘No, let me see the next room.’ In the second room, people are standing in dirt up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally Satan opens the third room. People are standing with dirt up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating pastries. The guy says, ‘I pick this room.’ Satan says Ok and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, ‘OK, coffee break’s over. Everyone back on your heads!’

7. Kid vs barber
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer. ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’ Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’

8. You’re one in a million
China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

9. Racing a bear
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guy says, ‘What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.’ ‘I don’t need to outrun the bear,’ the first guy says. ‘I just need to outrun you.’

10. All in a night’s work
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays $300 on the bar, and says, “Paint my house.”

Why Men Are Happier

Men can play with toys all their life.

Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like.

Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes which are good for every season.

Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache.

Men can “do” their fingernails with a pocket knife.

Men’s bellies usually hide their large hips.

Chocolate is just another snack.

The whole garage belongs to them.

Weddings take care of themselves.

Men’s last name never changes.

Everything on a man’s face stays its original color.

Men only have to shave their faces and necks.

Men can keep the same hairstyle for years, even decades.

Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes.

For men, wrinkles add character.

Men can go on a week’s vacation and pack only one suitcase.

Men’s new shoes don’t cause blisters, or cut or mangle their feet.

Men don’t have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.

Men have one mood all the time.

A wedding dress cost $5000. A tuxedo rental – 100 bucks

Men can open all their own jars.

Mary Stocks Obituary

STOCKS, Mary Patricia (nee Morris) —

Pat Stocks, 94, passed away peacefully at her home in bed July 1, 2015. It is believed it was caused from carrying her oxygen tank up the long flight of stairs to her bedroom that made her heart give out. She left behind a hell of a lot of stuff to her daughter and sons who have no idea what to do with it. So if you’re looking for 2 extremely large TV’s from the 90s, a large ceramic stork (we think) umbrella/cane stand, a toaster oven (slightly used) or even a 2001 Oldsmobile with a spoiler (she loved putting the pedal to the metal), with only 71,000 kilometers and 1,000 tools that we aren’t sure what they’re used for. You should wait the appropriate amount of time and get in touch. Tomorrow would be fine. This is not an ad for a pawn shop, but an obituary for a great Woman, Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother born on May 12, 1921 in Toronto, the daughter of the late Pop (Alexander C.) and Granny (Annie Nigh) Morris. She leaves behind a very dysfunctional family that she was very proud of. Pat was world-renowned for her lack of patience, not holding back her opinion and a knack for telling it like it is. She always told you the truth even if it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. It was the school of hard knocks and yes we were told many times how she had to walk for miles in a blizzard to get to school, so suck it up. With that said she was genuine to a fault, a pussy cat at heart (or lion) and yet she sugar coated nothing. Her extensive vocabulary was more than highly proficient at knowing more curse words than most people learned in a lifetime. She liked four letter words as much as she loved her rock garden and trust us she LOVED to weed that garden with us as her helpers, when child labour was legal or so we were told. These words of encouragement, wisdom, and sometimes comfort, kept us in line, taught us the “school of hard knocks” and gave us something to pass down to our children. Everyone always knew where you stood with her. She liked you or she didn’t, it was black or white. As her children we are still trying to figure out which one it was for us (we know she loved us). She was a master cook in the kitchen. She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all germs would be nuked. Freezing germs also worked, so by Friday our school sandwiches were hard and chewy, but totally germ free. All four of us learned to use a napkin. You would pretend to cough, spit the food into it and thus was born the Stocks diet. If anyone would like a copy of her homemade gravy, we would suggest you don’t. She will be sorely missed and survived by her brother George Morris, children: Shauna (Stocks) Perreault, Paul/Sandy (Debbie) Stocks and Kirk Stocks, son-in-law Ian Milnes and son from another mother, John McCleery, grandchildren: Lesley (Sean), Lindsay (Lucas), Ashley (James), David (Tia), Brett, Erin (Brian), Sean, Alex, Courtney and Taylor and great-grandchildren: Connor, Emily, Ainsley, Tyler and Jack. She was preceded in death by her loving husband Paul (Moo) Stocks and eldest daughter Shelley (Stocks) Milnes and beloved pets Tag, Tag, Tag and Tag. All whom loved her dearly and will never forget her tenacity, wit, charm, grace (when pertinent) and undying love and caring for them. Please give generously to covenanthousetoronto.ca “in memory”. A private family ‘Celebration of Life’ will be held, in lieu of a service, due to her friends not being able to attend, because they decided to beat her to the Pearly Gates. Please note her change of address to her new place of residence, St John’s York Mills Anglican Church, 19 Don Ridge Drive, 12 doors away from Shelley’s place.

Laugh Your Way With the Best Work Jokes of the Day

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Competitive Salary-Paying you less than our competitions.
Join our Fast Paced Team-We expect you to know everything so we don’t train you.
Casual Work Atmosphere-We don’t pay you enough to dress you up
Must be Deadline Oriented-You are 6 months behind on your first day.
Duties Will Vary-Anyone in the Office can boss you around
Must have an eye for detail-We have no quality control

Work vs Prison

Prison-8’x10’ Cell

Work-6’x8’ Cubicle

Prison-3 meals a day

Work-1 meal and you have to pay for that one

Prison-Guards Unlock and Lock the doors for you

Work-You have to do it yourself

Prison-Friends and Family can visit you

The company’s management team put their heads together to decide how to reduce the high employee turnover rate. “They spend their first six or eight weeks learning our system, then they join another company,” complained one executive. “Yes, but doesn’t that at least speak highly of our training program?” chirped an optimistic colleague.

The Ironworker

An ironworker nonchalantly walked the narrow beam fifteen floors above the city sidewalk. Though strong winds were blowing a heavy rain, the worker showed no fear whatever. When he came down to the sidewalk, a man who had been watching him from ground level went over to him and said, “I was really impressed watching you up there. You were so calm. How did you get a job like this?” “Well, as a matter of fact,” replied the ironworker, “I used to drive a school bus, until my nerves gave out

A painter accepted the task of painting a church steeple. He had 10 gallons of white paint. Half way down the steeple he had already used 6.5 gallons. He made sure no one was looking and then diluted the remaining paint with paint thinner.

He finished the job, cleaned his brush and rollers, and looked up to see that there were two distinct colors of white on the steeple.

“Oh, no!” he exclaimed, “What can I do now?”

A clap of thunder roared above him, and a booming voice was heard saying, “Repaint! And stop your thinning!”

A suggestion from a Human Resources Manager:

HOW TO PROPERLY PLACE NEW EMPLOYEES . . .

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:
a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Management.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.

Kathleen Carries On Part 6 or Keep Your Hands off the Offering Plate

Mother is scrupulous about paying her tithe. On the last Sunday before January 1st, she was dressing for church and found $300 in her underwear drawer. “Oh, I must have been saving this for my tithe!” Tucking it in her purse, she dropped it in the offering plate as it passed. Almost immediately, she remembered she’d been saving for a new floor but it was too late to grab it back. She didn’t have all bad luck with the offering, though. One Sunday, she made change for a large bill when the plate was passed and came out $20 ahead. I never did believe that was a mistake. She wanted me to take her by Thrifty Liquor one Saturday. Since she is a rabid teetotaler, I had to know why. “They have the cheapest money orders in town. I always get my offering money order there” Mother believes in watching her pennies. I offered to go in and get it for her.

“Look at this, Mother! Mr. Thrifty is printed on here as big as Dallas! They’re going to think you’re one of those drinking Baptists!”

Of course I told my family. “ My nephew is a minister. Mother frequently attends his church and is well-known to his congregation. He acknowledged her attendance but turned to the ushers as they passed the offering plate,”I’m proud to have my grandmother here, but don’t let her get her hands on the offering plate.”

That’s not the last of her indiscretions. I was talking to her one Sunday as she changed clothes after church. “Well, where’s my bra? I can’t find bra!”

I acted disgusted. “Mother, I’ll bet you left it it the back seat of the deacon’s car again!” She didn’t deny it.

Kids in Cars

I’m sitting in the shade at the grocery store waiting for Mother to finish her shopping. I take her once a week. I finish mine in about 30 minutes, then pick her up at the door when she calls me. It’s 93 right now. As a kid, I remember it being far hotter ,when we waited in the car. Mother let us go in grocery store with her, once we were sufficiently threatened. We always got a box of animal crackers to munch while she shopped, presumably to keep our hands and mouths occupied.

In the parking lot, we smugly passed cars full of hot, fighting kids on our way in. Sometimes, we had to sit in the car if she had kid-free business like banking or bill-paying. What I thought was two hours, Mother called fifteen minutes. The truth lay somewhere between, but I’ll never admit it to her. We started fighting the minute she was out of earshot and lapsed into virtuous behavior as soon as we saw her coming back. Initially, there were threats of “I’m telling,” but usually by the time Mother got back, we’d all have passed enough licks no one could risk tattling. Mother always accused us of acting like heathens. I wonder if heathen mothers accused their children of acting like Christians?

For those of you who weren’t raised in Sunday School, Heathen is a dated term used primarily of someone who is not religious, or whose religion is not Judaism, Islam, or especially Christianity. In our case, it was a disparaging term used disapprovingly to describe one (me)who is not cultured; this use is also dated. Forgive me. I am sure this is not politically correct, but I was lead to believe I frequently acted “like a heathen.” I feel sure most heathen were much more well- behaved.

For the love of God, don’t leave your kid in the car!