Ask Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,

My husband and I have been married fourteen years.  We have been trying to have a child for ten.  We recently went through a rough patch and separated for a few months.  I was intimate with an old friend during that period.  My husband and I reconciled and I realized I was pregnant, afterwards.  Either man could be the father.  My husband knows the whole story and wants the baby, either way. This may be our only chance to have a child.  The other man is divorced and recently lost his only child, so it is not unlikely he will suspect the child could be his and want paternal rights.  Both sets of grandparents are ecstatic about the baby, though of course, they don’t know the whole story.   I don’t want this child to be hurt.  My husband’s parents would not welcome a child not of their blood.  How do I handle this?  Worried Mama

Dear Worried, If you and your husband are in agreement, that is what matters.  With the possibility of custody questions looming, I would be proactive and do DNA testing at birth and talk to a lawyer pending results.  Many families have to share custody.  As far as the grandparents, I can’t see how it would help them to have extra time to worry.  Good luck.

 

Auntie Linda,  My sister is a serial marrier.  She is thirty-eight and has been married four times and had numerous relationships and children with two exes. She has a well-established pattern.  While in a relationship, she meets the love of her life, and begins clandestine affair, while raging and abusing the current guy, before moving on to next relationships.  All of her husbands have been good guys but I have become reluctant to become close to her current husband since he probably won’t be around long.  She is already becoming critical of him, meaning he will soon be history.  In other relationships, she has maintained contact with  “friends” during her marriage, becoming increasingly involved as her relationship or marriage falls apart.  Recently, her husband asked to speak to me about their marriage.  I’d rather not get into her behaviors or history.  It is awkward for her children and the rest of our family to have to deal with her ever-changing partners.  Over the years, we’ve had so many come and go it’s odd to see who is in holiday pictures.  How does family maintain relationships without getting dragged into multiple relationships? Tired of love

Dear Tired, You needn’t feel any responsibility beyond common courtesy.  It’s not your job to defend or explain your sister.  People should go into relationships with their eyes wide open, understanding people with a history of many broken marriages and relationships are not a good risk.  That’s a lot of baggage.  You might just as hubby #4 if he can count and wish him luck.

Charley’s Tale Part 35

Cora put bacon and eggs in front of Charles at the kitchen table.  As she refilled his coffee, he said, “Sit with me a minute, Cora.”  She wiped her hands on her apron and poured herself a cup of coffee.  “Have you seen you seen Ellen’s hair?  She looks deranged.  I told her last night she has to get it back to normal before anyone sees it. She threw one of her fits and had  be sedated.  I just gave her another dose so she should be quiet today.   Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Dr. Charles, her hair was a mess at her tea yesterday. I was shocked when she come down the stairs makin’ a big entrance.  A couple of women giggled before that fool Sarah got everbody to clappin’ to cover up the laughing.  Miss Ellen was so proud of herself, she might not a took it all in.  Miss Geneva was right at her side and give out some looks that kinda shut them hateful women down.  I spect everbody in town knows ’bout that red hair.  I shore hate it.  I’d a tried to let you or Miss Geneva know if I’d a knowed ’bout her hair.”

Charles was stricken when he realized how far things had gone.  “No wonder she went wild when the boys and I burst out laughing at dinner last night.  It was such a shock!  She really has gone around the bend again, hasn’t she?  I don’t know what I’m going to do.  I can’t put her back in that hospital, but I certainly can’t have her around the girls.  The way she fought me and the boys, she could kill them.  She was fighting and even tried to bite while I was giving her an injection.  What am I going to do?  I can’t expect Miss Geneva to take care of my girls forever.  She’s past seventy and they have a right to live in their own home.  God help us all.”

“I just don’t know, Dr. Charles.  We gonna have to call on the Good Lord.  Don’t you have any doctor friends you can talk to?  I’ll keep an eye on Miss Ellen for you, but you might want to take her car keys, just in case she takes a notion to go somewhere.” Cora suggested.

“That I will.  Thanks for reminding me and for the talk.  I’ll figure something out.  That was a fine breakfast.  Better stop by and see the girls.”  He took Ellen’s keys off the hook as he left.

“Poor, poor man.” Cora said.  ” Money sho ain’t everthang.”

 

Dear Auntie Linda, August 11, 2015

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My parent are in their seventies.  I am their only child.  They are more than comfortable.  My husband and I have two children.  We’d like to move into a better school district but would really struggle to make the payments.  I’ve asked my parents but they don’t want to loan us the money for a down payment.  I am hurt, since I am their only child and heir.  Is this selfish of me?  Only Child

Dear Only, Without knowing the whole story, it’s hard to say.  Your parents may have every penny tied up.  Maybe, like me, they don’t loan what they can’t afford to gift.  A loan, not repaid, creates hard feelings.  It’s always better not to go in too deep.  Your parent’s money, however much or little it is, is theirs to do with as they please, not something you are entitled to.  They may…

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Laugh Your way With the Best Diet Jokes of the Day

Charley’s Tale Part 34

Initially, Ellen was in high spirits about the success of her tea, but afterwards remnanants of conversations niggled at her.  Despite Sarah’s fauning, It occurred to Ellen some of her compliments were over the top.  The references to Titian and Rubens were starting to sting.  Was the simpering little bitch calling her a fat redhead?  Agitated, that laugh she’d heard when Cora announced her echoed louder and louder in her memory.  The longer she thought of it, the angrier she became.

Ellen strolled in to dinner after Charles and the boys were seated.  All three burst out laughing when they saw her hair.  “Dear God, Ellen!  You’d got to get that toned down!” Charles told her, as he wiped away tears with his handkerchief.  “You can’t go out in public like that.”  The boys struggled to get themselves under control.

She’d anticipated a triumphant entry.  This reception undid her pride.  Humiliated, she flew into a rage.  “How dare you laugh in my face!  You’re not fit to wipe the mud from my shoe, none of you and you’re sitting there laughing at me like a bunch of hyenas!” She picked up a vase off the sideboard and slung it at Charles’s head as she whirled to leave the room.  “You disgusting bastards! I hate you!  All of you!”

He ducked and told the boys, “Go on with your dinner.  I’ll go up later.”  Having witnessed so many outbursts from their mother, once the fit was over, they settled down to dinner, occasionally stifling a snicker.

Charles went up to Ellen after dinner.  When she didn’t answer his knock, he tried her door and entered.  “Ellen, I regret laughing, but your hair was a shock.  I’m sure your hairdresser can tone it down before anybody else sees it.  You don’t want people laughing at you.  I don’t want you to be embarrassed.”

“Get out!  Get out!  I don’t want to see your ignorant face!”  She flew at him, pummeling him with her fists and screaming.  The boys flew up the stairs when they heard the fracas,  Charles got her pushed to the bed and held her arms at her sides. “I hate you!  I hate you!” She screamed and struggled to get free.  Wresting herself from his grip, she smashed a crystal vase on her bedside and slashed at him.

“Hold her while I get something to calm her.”  The boys kept her on the bed as she screamed.  She spat the medicine back in Charles’s face and fought even harder.  Finally, he gave up and injected her into calm and left her snoring.  He was desolate at the mess his life had become.  Ellen was getting no better.

Ask Auntie Linda, August 12, 2015

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I am a seventeen years old, a senior in high school, make good grades, and have never done anything to make my parents distrust me.  We live thirteen miles outside town.  Most kids don’t want to come out this far before going out at night.  My parents let my brother take the car and go out at night or meet friends in town.  I am allowed to use the car in daytime, but they don’t want me driving alone at night in case I break down.  I have a cell phone.  I don’t always want to stay over with a friend or have a guy drive me home.  How can I get them to relax this double standard?  Unfair

Dear Unfair,  That’s a sticky one.  It’s not about trusting you.  It’s about protecting you, which you don’t like a bit better, I’m sure.  Maybe if you promised…

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Best of Best Afternoon Dog Funnies

Ask Auntie Linda, September 27, 2015

lbeth1950's avatarNutsrok

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I live in a decent, not fancy, neighborhood.  All the residents keep their places mowed, painted, and well-kept, except for one neighbor.  The lady living directly across the street from me is a hoarder.  Her place looks like she is having a garage sale all the time.  Junk cars, old furniture, and hundreds of flower pots are in plain view.  She has old appliances and dozens of containers standing on her porch.  Her shades hang crooked on the windows.  Her grass is tall and she has dozens of cats swarming around.  We ordered Pizza the other night and her cats attacked the Pizza Man.  Several of us talked to her and she threw us off the property.  What can be done about this miserable mess?  Sick of the View

Dear Sick of the View,  You can call the ASPCA or animal control about the cat problem.  You can…

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Charley’s Tale Part 33

Needless to say, Charles was apprehensive about Ellen’s entertaining, but was reassured to know Geneva would be there to help out.  Cora would be serving with Birdie’s assistance.  Cora assured him everything was perfect on his way out to visit the girls at Geneva’s house as he did every morning.  Geneva promised she’d be there way early in case Ellen needed anything.  Ellen had hosted dozens of teas over the years, so Charles felt this would go well.  He had no idea she’d invited twelve instead of just her syncophant friend, Sarah.  Sarah had loyally endured Ellen’s barbs and snide behavior for the dubious benefit of her company for years.

Cora had laid a lovely tea with Ellen’s wedding service.  Dainty cucumber sandwiches and chicken salad sandwich fingers rested on a bed of lettuce on the bottom tier of a serving dish, scones on the middle, and luscious petit fours on the top tier.  More waited in the kitchen.

The parlor and dining room was full of ladies in their finest.  Anticipation was high as no one had seen Ellen for months or really knew the nature of her illness.  At two ten, conversation was buzzing when Cora rang a little silver bell and announced, “The new Mrs. Charles Evans.”  Ellen swept confidently down the stairs into the room. Her short flaming red hair clashed with the bright yellow of the silk dress, her brows and lips heavily made up.  She easily weighed twenty pounds more than when they’d last seen her.  A titter was heard, then nervous laughter.  Sarah quickly glanced around, and sensing disaster, starting clapping as if in congratulation.

Geneva joined in gratefully, then took her daughter’s arm.  Sarah rushed to embrace Ellen, “Oh, Ellen!  You look stunning!  I hardly knew you.”  Truer words were never spoken.  Ellen’s garish red hair and clashing yellow dress were a shocking combination.  Conversation resumed, and Ellen was gratified to be the center of attention.  To hear her tell it, she’d barely been snatched from the jaws of death, and was just now making a brave recovery.  The group was fascinated to hear the tale of little Ginny’s unexpected arrival, and to learn of Ellen’s recent bereavement and the vast inheritance she was soon to receive.

Ellen had little idea of the impression she’d made and felt her return to society was a great success.  Geneva felt sick, knowing her daughter had set tongues to wagging.