memoir

Joke of the Day

winning7winning 6winning5winning 4winning 3winning 2WinningThe Doctor was puzzled ‘I’m very sorry Mr O’Flaherty, but I can’t diagnose your trouble. I think it must be drink.’

‘Don’t worry about it Dr Cullen, I’ll come back when you’re sober.’ said O’ Flaherty.

More Examples of a Funny Irish One-Liners

  • Where were you going when I saw you coming back?
  • I ran after you, but when I caught up to you you’d gone.
  • ‘What’s wrong with Murphy?’ asked Father Green. ‘I don’t know, Father. Yesterday he swallowed a spoon and he hasn’t stirred since,’ said Mrs Murphy.
  • ‘How far is it to the next village?’ asked the American tourist. ‘It’s about seven miles,’ guessed the farmer. ‘But it’s only five if you run!’
  • ‘I’m the unluckiest person in the whole world,’ moaned Betty McGrath. ‘I bought a non-stick pan and can’t get the label off.’
  • ‘I’d like some nails,’ Mick requested of the ravelling tinker. ‘How long would you like them?’ asked the man. ‘Forever, if that’s all right with you,’ said Mick.
  • ‘The baby is just like his father,’ said Mary Quinn. ‘But at least he’s got his health!’
  • ‘I was going to give him a nasty look but he already had one!’Funny Irish Jokes

Things that only the illogical Irish would say:

  1. ‘You three are a right pair if ever I saw one!’
  2. ‘How come every time you ring a wrong number it’s never engaged?’
  3. ‘Spread out in a bunch.’
  4. ‘Hello, Mary, how’s your new false teeth?’ asked Bridget. ‘I’m leaving them out till I get used to them!’ said Mary.

Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 2)

Repost:

 

True - Wedding Dresses for Pregnant Women

Even though the occasion of Bobo and Inez’s marriage preceeded my birth by a few days, Mother has told me the story so often, I feel I was there. Bobo showed up with his bride just hours after they married. No doubt, he was proud of her. He was twenty-seven; she, fifteen and visibly pregnant. Now, he’d be arrested. Quite a buxom lass, she was lovely. Continue reading →

Footloose and Fancy-Free (Part 1)

overalls 2repost:

Cousin Bobo was footloose and fancy-free, unperturbed by the economic responsibilities of four children in three years. He doted on his child-bride, Inez, living quite happily with her and their family in an old unpainted, farm house on her mama’s place. Despite his aversion to a regular work schedule, he and Inez managed fine. There was no power to the house, so no bills, the wood stove and fireplace sufficing for heat and cooking. The house was abandoned when they moved in, so he tacked wire over the open windows to keep varmints out, shuttering the windows for bad weather. Mama was real proud he did the right thing and married Inez, so she wasn’t about to stir up trouble, especially after the young’uns started coming. Bobo plowed and planted Mama’s garden, later helping get the peas picked and corn cut. Except for the few days he spent plowing, and cutting firewood, he fished and hunted every day. He happily peddled watermelons and turnip greens out of his old ’49 Ford Truck. They never ran short of game or fish. Sometimes he’d help a neighbor butcher a beef or hog, bringing in extra meat. He wasn’t averse to helping family with a little painting or carpentry work from time to time, as long as it was understood that his labor included a few days’s hospitality for his family. He kept Mama’s freezer full. That along with Mama’s chickens and eggs, the cow’s milk and butter kept them going just fine. Getting clothes for the kids wasn’t a challenge. Inez was the youngest of six spectacularly fertile sisters. Their cousin’s hand-me-downs were plentiful. All those little blonde tykes lined up in overalls year round was awe-inspiring. Most of the time, they wore shirts under their overalls in winter. Plenty of old tennis shoes lay casually around, should any of the kids decide they needed footwear. Some even had mates. Size wasn’t an issue. Should a shoe be too big, it worked fine to slide-style and let it flop. The kids weren’t partial to shoes anyway, unless they were picking around in a trash dump with old cans or broken glass. Strings were scarce, but I never noticed anybody complaining.

I loved it when Bobo, Inez, and the kids showed up. Mother wasn’t always so enthusiastic, figuring they had run out of groceries and needed a place to roost for a few days. They did seem more likely to show up in bad weather, when a warm house was helpful. Sometimes they’d stay a few days with this relative, a few with that one, moving one before the tension got too thick. Mother complained about relatives giving them gas money to help them down the road to their next hosts.  I know I saw her slip Inez a little of her grocery money once, after Daddy went to work.  They moved on.  We ate gravy and biscuits till Daddy got paid the next Thursday.

to be continued

Blogfest in United States

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I’ve recently had the pleasure of meeting three of my fellow bloggers and made three good friends.  I’d love to meet more.  I am attaching this survey in hopes of finding others who want to meet.  Please complete if you are interested and reblog so it gets around.  If you are interested in planning, please make note in comments.  Will get back in an update post with results.  

Afternoon Funny

chicken Far Side 2 far side 3Far Side 2far side 3

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, “I know what the Bible means!” “Okay,” said his father. “What does the Bible mean?” “That’s easy, Daddy….” the young boy replied excitedly,” It stands for ‘Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'” =======

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. “Is there anything breakable in here?” asked the postal clerk. “Only the Ten Commandments.” answered the lady. =======

Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good morning, Lord,” and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, “Good Lord, it’s morning.” ========  There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: “I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it’s still out there in your pockets.” ========

While driving in Pennsylvania , a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign… “Energy efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.” ========

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really? How do you know?” the teacher asked. “You know – Our Father, who does art in Heaven… ” ========

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. “Reverend,” said the young man, “I’m so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip.” The minister chuckled, “I know what you mean. It’s the same in my business.” ========

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.. ========

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. “Here’s a copy of the service,” he said impatiently. “But, you’ll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances.” During the service, the minister paused and said, “Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected and we need $4,000 more Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up.” At that moment, the substitute organist played “The Star Spangled Banner.” And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!

EMPTIER THAN BEFORE

Reblogging from MikeSteeden who speaks for us all.

Joke of the Day

Sunday10

'If the Pope is pious, does that mean he's full of pie?'

'Dearly beloved.....and the rest of you.....'

Sunday 7

'I'm beginning to feel bad about skipping church for a cookout.'

‘I’m beginning to feel bad about skipping church for a cookout.’

A Sunday school teacher asked her class, “What was Jesus’ mother’s name?”
One child answered, “Mary.”
The teacher then asked, “Who knows what Jesus’ father’s name was?”
A little kid said, “Verge.”
Confused, the teacher asked, “Where did you get that?”
The kid said, “Well, you know they are always talking about
Verge n’ Mary.”


 After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
“That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.”


Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting
together in church.
Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
Finally, his big sister had had enough.
“You’re not supposed to talk out loud in church.”
“Why? Who’s going to stop me?” Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said,
“See those two men standing by the door?
They’re hushers.”


A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
“If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'”
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, “Ryan, you be Jesus!”


A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
“Daddy, what happened to him?” the son asked.
“He died and went to Heaven,” the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
“Did God throw him back down?”

Mindfulness Meditation Challenge

Reblogged. This is a good post.

Carhartt Overalls – So Manly They Make Little Girls out of Grown Men

Re logged from Bzirkone. Love this story!

bzirkone's avatarBzirkWorld

tieFive years ago I visited Mickey’s Surplus in Kansas City and found a sale on Carhartt overalls. I didn’t yet know the full impact of the Carhartt brand but I knew it was a pretty big deal because of a giant family riff some years earlier over a particular Carhartt jacket I’d found in a closet and given to the wrong male family member who procrastinated about returning the jacket when the actual owner turned up and recommended the jacket be given back. It took a while for that little deal to die down.

I found some brand-new Carhartt overalls on sale for $17.00 at Mickey’s and I thought…hmmm…Christmas is coming up. So, I dug through the giant pile of canvas pants until I found two pair in the right sizes, one for my husband and one for my son-in-law.

My husband was almost tickled pink over the outfit and…

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