Dear Auntie Linda,

I was coming home from a fun outing with my lovely new friend from down there Louisiana way, minding my own business, enjoying my new paper hat with embroidered flowers. Being a little weary of traffic, I decided to stop for a quick break at Mickey D’s.

It was a beautiful, sunshiny day. My mood was as happy as my bright yellow shirt and I was all hopped up on a Starbuck’s iced mocha latte, so I headed off to the restroom, came out and stretched my legs on an outdoor bench in the shade.

As I stood up and reached around to stretch my hands behind my back, I felt a sharp, needle-like pain go up my left arm. Oh, Lord, please don’t let this be a heart attack or something serious like that!  I was still about 45 minutes from home, with a cooler full of fresh beef in my trunk. (I’d been shopping at my family’s old time Amish meat market).

I got back in my car, and called my little brother, who works very nearby. Call went straight to voicemail. I was getting worried, when I noticed a little bit of swelling around my wrist, and the skin was turning red, starting to itch.

I’d been bitten, no doubt by an insect from those lovely landscaping shrubs behind me at the Mickey D’s. That was a relief. 

Now here’s the problem. I don’t know how to treat the bite, since I didn’t see the flying culprit. It is still swollen, itches like nobody’s business, and the redness spread overnight to the back of the wrist. There are a few entry points; it looks like something poked into me at 4 different spots, one large one and 3 smaller ones, so it might not have been a bee? 

Any suggestions?

 I tried a baking soda paste, apple cider vinegar and ice packed it for a bit. 

Signed, 

Still Swollen in the Suburbs 

Dear Still,  It does sound like a stinging rather than biting insect.  Sounds like you are doing everything right.  If swelling or pain get worse, or if you get bruising at site, might want to see a doctor, just in case it is a spider bite.  Ice to site and antihistamine are always good.  Sounds like an unpleasant end to a great day.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My marriage just broke up.  I walked out with nothing.  How do I get started over when I have no job, no car, and have to live with my parents?  I feel so hopeless?  Feel like such a loser.

Dear Feel, Lots of people have been where you are.  Start at the local employment office.  Take whatever you can find, even if it doesn’t pay well.  Some money is better than none.  It’s easier to find a job if you have one.  Make sure you save back a few dollars each payday, no matter what.  You’ll need it when you move out.  Check on educational programs and job training.  You may qualify for loans, grants, scholarships or tuition assistance.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help.  Good luck!  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I like my job but my boss is toxic.  The workplace is extremely high stress with a high turnover.   The clients ask for me and other staff say they like to work with me.  I have asked my boss if there is anything I need to do to improve my performance.  My supervisor is critical of me to others behind my back, though when I asked for feedback she says I am doing fine. She is training a part-time worker for the job she originally promised me.  What should I do?  Worried but need this job.

Dear Worried.  Look for another job while you still have a job.  It sounds like your boss has no interest in your professional development and has already hired your replacement.  If possible, find another person who is willing to give you a letter of reference.  You are on the way out.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My little brother wants to borrow $10,000 for a down-payment on a house.  He’s thirty-eight with a good job, but his divorce wiped him out financially.   I have savings and would like help him, but my wife doesn’t want to loan him the money.  What should I do?  Dilemma

Dear Dilemma,  I am with your wife.  I never loan money.  People who borrow money from family almost never pay it back.  How do you(and your wife)feel about giving him $10,000?  That’s the way you need to look at it.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I am a devout Christian and have honored my vows to be submissive to my husband, but he hits me “when I need it”.  We married when I was eighteen.  My mother-in-law is very loving and helpful but I can expect no help from her or our church.  She has no control over her own life.  My father-in-law is the master of his house.  I only see my family twice a year, never alone.  The only time I have away from the farm where we live my in-laws is when I go to town with my husband or get to run errands with my mother-in-law.  I do get to go to the library when my mother-in-law goes to church since one of her friends is the librarian and can account for my whereabouts while she is in the grocery store across the street.  I have to get away to save my life.  Where do I turn for help?  Prisoner in my home

Dear Prisoner,  Get in touch with the nearest Domestic Abuse Hotline.  You should be able to find it on the computer.  Be careful.  Abused women are in the most danger when they are trying get away, as you probably well know.  Good luck and be careful who you confide in.