memoir

That Explains It!

The blonde went to her plastic surgeon.  “You’ve got to do something about these wrinkles under my eyes.  They look just awful!”

“Sure, I can fix you right up!” said Dr. Jones.  “I’ll put this little knob on top of your head. Give it a little twist, and Voila!!  The wrinkles are gone!  Come back if you have any trouble”

Sure enough, it worked like magic.  The blonde was thrilled!  She was a new woman!  She looked like she was eighteen again!  Every time her face drooped a little, she gave the knob a little twist.

Five years later the blonde came back to see Dr. Jones.  “You fixed me up a while back with this little knob to tighten up my wrinkles.  It worked great for a long time, but it’s stripped out now and I’ve got these big bags under my eyes.  What can you do about them?”

“Those aren’t bags!  Those are your breasts!  I told you to come back if you had any trouble!”

“Oh, then that explains the goatee!”

Adventure racer gives stray dog a meatball, dog follows him to finish line of 430-mile race

What a heart that dog has! Reblogged from the Win

Tarzan

Tarzan was our favorite game.  No Cheeta. No Jane.  Just Tarzan, Master of the Jungle, swinging from tree to tree.  Actually, there was only one rope swing hanging from a shade tree, but it worked just fine.  We alternated being Tarzan and vine fetcher.  The thrill of standing on the branch, beating your chest and calling out Ahahuh….uhuh…uhuh!!!! before swinging through the jungle was powerful.  We never got enough. Continue reading →

Ruth Elaine and the Exploding Baby (Part I of II 1930s Memoir)

I was praying for salvation as the class suffered along with Luther Simpson through a page of Jane and Fluff the Kitten.  The second-graders pretended to work on their sums across the aisle. in our shared classroom in 1935 in East Texas. Little Ruth Elaine Lawson, a girl I’d had always found dull, dropped her head to her desk and snuffled Continue reading →

Ruth Elaine and the Exploding Baby (Part II of II 1930s memoir)

Repost of earlier post few readers saw:

Out of respect for the family, Mr. Kinnebrew dismissed school at noon. Ruth Elaine, normally socially invisible, wandered from the office with her lunch bucket, mystified to find herself Queen of the Playground. The big girls jostled for position around her, shoving lowly first graders to the side, demanding details of the catastrophe. “Did it set him on Continue reading →

Buried in Snow Bank for 13 Hours, Mom Pens Farewell Notes to Daughters Before Rescue

Rye logged from LittleKarl’s Blog Thanks

Little Karl's avatarLittle Karl's Blog

Karen Rossi and her daughter Madelyn
John Hickey/Buffalo News

By Andrea Billups

11/23/2014 AT 01:40 PM EST

Stranded in a snow bank, her blue Chevy Cobalt buried under several feet of ice, Karen Rossi feared the worse as she huddled in her car in freezing temperatures.So as the hours slipped away, the Lancaster, New York, pharmacy technician penned farewell letters to her two daughters, thinking no one would find her before it was too late as a record-setting, 6-foot snowfall buried the region.”It felt like I was underground, buried in a casket,” Rossi told the Buffalo News of her harrowing ordeal.”It was surreal. It was just silent for hours. Nobody came. And my phone had died. I couldn’t charge it because I’d taken my daughter’s car to work,” Rossi, 47, told the News, noting she’d left the hospital where she’d worked an extra shift at 3 a.m., driving right…

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Save animals by little efforts.

Important to us all. Please protect helpless animals in cold weather. rebloginghttps://wordpress.com/read/post/id/44794780/9953/

Read it Loud's avatarA Small Act Of Kindness Can Bring Smile On Million Faces

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Mixed Nuts (Part II of III)

Repost:

When you are dealing with family, it clarifies things to have a scale.  You don’t have to waste time analyzing people when you have a ready reference.  This one works pretty well for us.

1.Has a monogrammed straight jacket and standing reservation on mental ward.

2.Family is likely to move away without leaving forwarding address. Has jail time in the past or the future

3.People say, “Oh, crap. Here comes Johnny.”

4.Can go either way.  Gets by on a good day.  Never has been arrested.  Can be  lots of fun or a real mess. Relatives usually will invite in for coffee.  Likely to have hormone-induced behavior.

5.Regular guy. Holds down a job.  Mostly takes care of business.  Probably not a serial marry-er.  Attends  church when he has to.

6.Good fellow. Almost everybody likes him or her. Volunteers for Habitat for Humanity.  Manages money well enough to retire early.

7.High achiever.  Business is in order.  Serves on city council.

8.Looks too good to be true. What’s really going on?

9.Over-achiever. Affairs are in order.  Solid citizen.  Dull, dull, dull.  Could end up as a 1 Continue reading →

Mixed Nuts (Part I) Reblog

I am reblogging one of my first, favorite posts about my eccentric family.  Enjoy!

When you are dealing with family, it clarifies things to have a scale.  You don’t have to waste time analyzing people when you have a ready reference.  This one works pretty well for us.

1.Has a monogrammed straight jacket and standing reservation on mental ward.

2.Family is likely to move away without leaving forwarding address. Has jail time in the past or the future

3.People say, “Oh, crap. Here comes Johnny.”

4.Can go either way.  Gets by on a good day.  Never has been arrested.  Can be  lots of fun or a real mess. Relatives usually will invite in for coffee.  Likely to have hormone-induced behavior.

5.Regular guy. Holds down a job.  Mostly takes care of business.  Probably not a serial marrier.  Attends  church when he has to.

6.Good fellow. Almost everybody likes him or her. Volunteers for Habitat for Humanity.  Manages money well enough to retire early.

7.High achiever.  Business is in order.  Serves on city council.

8.Looks too good to be true. What’s really going on?

9.Over-achiever. Affairs are in order.  Solid citizen.  Dull, dull, dull.  Could end up as a 1 Continue reading →