
You probably don’t want to be me today. I am visiting family in New Jersey and broke my glasses. I am anxiously awaiting the vision center to open. Is this a good look for me?

You probably don’t want to be me today. I am visiting family in New Jersey and broke my glasses. I am anxiously awaiting the vision center to open. Is this a good look for me?
School become a hostile place for Charley. When boys and girls started pairing off, Charley found herself on the outside. Finding no particular boy attractive, she was confused to hear girls continuously chatter “Johnny, David, or Mark is cute.” None of them were cute to her. They were just boys, no different than last month or last year. Wanting to fit in, she offered up the observation, “Robert is cute.” The snide group burst into laughter, ridiculing her and Robert. Apparent, the skinny red-headed lad hadn’t made the standard cute list. Sing-song shouts of “Charley loves Robert” rang to the treetops. Bashful Robert was humiliated to find himself the focus of the girls’ ridicule and fled the crowd. From then on he avoided Charley like the plague. Shame and rejection darkened her perception of herself. She withdrew, feeling it was as though she had a target on her back. The meaner of her tormentors them resurrected stories about her mother’s madness and labeled her “Crazy Charlsie!” The torment was relentless.
The Barnes children from next door were as familiar to Charley as breathing, a bright spot in her desert. The twin boys were a year older and Julia a year younger. They’d played cops and robbers, ball, ridden bicycles and built a treehouse together. When the darkness descended at school, she depended even more on their friendship. They were always able to take her mind off the confusing changes she faced. With Charley approaching puberty, Mrs. Barnes sought to put some distance between Charley and the boys. She forbade horseplay and physical contact, fearing it would awaken young sexuality. This abrupt change confused Charley further. One morning after a sleepover, Mrs. Barnes went in to wake the girls for breakfast and found Charlie’s arm draped cozily Julia, signaling the end of their close friendship.
One morning Charley didn’t come down when Cora called her for breakfast. Cora found her in the bathroom staring dully at her bloodstained panties. “I’m dying, Cora. Why is this happening to me? You’d better call my father.” She spoke in a monotone.
“Aw Lawdy, Honey. You ain’t dying. You just got the curse. That means you can have a baby now. Don’t you let no boys be kissing you. You gonna bleed a few days ever’ twenty-eight days now till you ’bout forty. You’ll git used to it. I meant to talk to you ‘fore it happened an’ it done slipped up on us. Let me get you a pad and belt an’ I’ll show you what to do.” Cora thought she was comforting Charlie.
Charley was appalled at this unwelcome news. “I don’t want to be a woman. What if somebody finds out about this? I ain’t going to school. Everybody already laughs at me. I wish I could just run off somewhere and live by myself. I can’t stand this!” Charley wailed.
“Yes, you can! Won’t nobody know if you don’t tell ’em. Ain’t no way nobody would as long as you keep your pad changed an’ don’t slip up an’ soil yourself. You need keep a spare pad in your purse. If you start at school, you can get one from the gym teacher.” Cora continued her talk. “You can’t swim, take a bath, ner wash you hair during your period or you might make it stop. Be real careful not to go out barefooted with dew on the ground, neither. That’s the worst. I had a friend once that done all that an’ once she finally had chillun’ ever’ one of ’em had fits. You know what fits is, don’t you? You wouldn’t want to do nuthin’ to make yore pore little chillun’ have fits, would you?” Cora waxed colorful in her warnings as Charley’s spirits hit the dirt.
“Cora, I never carried a purse in my life. Can you imagine all the laughing if if start dragging a purse a few days a month? There ain’t no way I could ask the gym teacher for nothing. She hates me. How can I go to school if I can’t take a bath? I’ll just stay home if I get another curse and you don’t need to worry about me kissing a boy! I’d sooner kiss a pig than that mean bunch up at school. I ain’t gonna marry so there ain’t gonna be no kids to have fits.” Charley was working up a good mad as though Cora was responsible for the insult of her menstrual cycle.
“Charley, ain’t no use in carrying on so over God’s doing. Now you just git yourself ready an’ git on to school. Take a pad with you an’ you’ll do fine. You can put it in your lunch bag an’ leave it in your locker to change after lunch. Now, scoot!”
With a miserable scowl, Charley collected her things and stomped out the back door furious at Cora, herself, and the world.
First in this horror serial by M. C. Clark. It’s great!
| WORLD’S BEST JOKES |
| The University of Hertfordshire recently concluded a research project to find the best jokes in the world. Here they are: |
| Best Joke in the world | A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy’s voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ |
| Second Place | Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a… |
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Joe walked into a bar and saw a tiny little man sitting on the end of the bar playing his heart out on a perfectly scaled miniature grand piano. “Barkeeper, where did he come from?”
The barkeeper pointed toward a lamp sitting on the bar. ” I rubbed this lamp. A genii came out and gave him to me.”
“Let me give it a try!” Joe rubbed the lamp and a genii appeared before him.
“What is your desire? You get one and only one wish”
Without hesitation, Joe asked for a million bucks. The genii disappeared back into the lamp as the room filled with ducks. They overflowed out into the street as far as the eye could see.
Horrified, Joe said, “What the Hell? I said I wanted a million BUCKS, not a million ducks. Is that genii deaf?”
“Yep,” replied the bartender. “How else do you think…
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Three firefighter went out on a hunting trip. There was a rookie, a captain, and a chief. The weather was miserable and they hadn’t seen any deer all day. Finally they came across an old shack where they went inside to play a game of poker.
After loosing a couple of hands, the probie threw down his cards and said “That does it! I am going out to get me a deer.”
Fifteen minutes later, the rookie came back with a nice four point buck. The captain and the chief asked, “How did you get that?”
The rookie replied, “I walked out fifty feet, followed some tracks and shot this buck.” The captain then said, “I’ve had enough of this I am going to get my deer.” He came back a half hour later with a 6 point buck.
The chief asked, “How did you get that?” The captain…
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Just wanted to let you know, I am not lost forever. I am with grandchildren with no iMessage to write! Not through with Crazy Charlsie. Don’t give up on me!
Wow!
As we walked across the Walmart parking lot this afternoon, my husband of forty-five years, Bud, pointed out my loose bootlace. I had no intention of bending over in the parking lot to tie it, so replied, “I have a backache. I’ll tie it later.”
Bud couldn’t deal with the idea of the flopping shoelace, so he rolled his eyes and grumped, “You can’t walk around like that. You’ll break your danged neck. Stand still. I’ll tie it!”
With that, he dropped down on one knee to tie it, just as a couple of guys walked by, obviously wondering what was going on.
I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, spouting, “No, I won’t marry you! Now get up!”
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