Dear Auntie Linda, September 9, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, Susie and I dated in high school, have both been married before, and have adult children.  She’s   the one who got away.  When we married last year after her husband died, we lived six hundred miles apart.  I am often on the road doing work in the oilfield, but get always get home every Thursday night and stay home till Monday morning.  It was my understanding that Susie would sell her home and come to live with me as soon as she could sell her house and business. Initially, Susie and I spent two weekends a month together, one at her home, and one at mine.  Susie was supposed to be putting her home and business up for sale.  Since then, she has sold her business, but is making lots of excuses about why she can’t get her home up for sale.  I still visit her one weekend a month, but she is becoming much more reluctant to come to my home, despite the fact that she no longer has a business to keep her busy.  Sometimes her grandchildren need her, sometimes her dog has been digging out from under the fence, and once she had to go to a great-uncle’s funeral.  I’ve been contributing to her budget since she sold her business, but I am losing my patience with her casual attitude toward our marriage.  I do?  Sidelined

Dear Sidelined,  This is a good time to find out if Susie considers your marriage a priority.  Sounds like she is feeling pretty casual about settling her affairs and sharing a life with you.  You need to have a good long talk about your expectations and hers.  You both have some decisions to make.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I am in love with a man who has shared custody of three children of thirteen, eleven, and ten.  They make no secret of the fact that they actively dislike me, even though we didn’t meet until long after their parents split.  He has asked me to marry him, but frankly, I don’t know that I can bear to take these children on.  They are rude, disrespectful to me and him, and one of the girls even called the police, saying I had hit her, when I refused to give her money.  Fortunately, my friend and the other children, as well as a neighbor’s child were there and said it was not true.  I have tried to befriend the children, but have been insulted and ridiculed to my face.  Joe says they will come to like me with time.  I love him, but don’t see that his children will accept me.  Is there hope?  In Love

Dear In Love,  There might be hope for this relationship, but I would want to feel there was some understanding or chink in these children’s resistance before I committed.  It could happen, but there is a lot of hard work ahead.  How much time are you willing to invest?  Your beloved will have to support you and be strong enough to take on the burden of discipline.  A step-parent who has to help support discipline in children this age has their work cut out for them.  Good luck, should you decide to try.  Auntie Linda

Noah and His First Three Lives

Noah SweetNoah Meow

A month ago, a friend was putting her bags in her car on the way to the airport out of town for several days in the middle of a torrential rainstorm when she heard the pitiful meows of this tiny kitten.  The kitten’s eyes were barely open.  It had washed up from somewhere in the storm and lodged in tree roots near her house.  It was so tiny and looked so sick, she felt it had no chance of survival, but she sheltered it, wiped it up, wrapped it up in blankets, and put warm milk with a rag for it to suck, a dish of water, and some mushy dog food, hoping its mother would find it.  Already late, she meant to ask a friend to check on it.  Late the next morning of the next day, by the time she remembered, she was sick at heart, realizing there was no way that tiny kitten survived such brutal conditions.  She dreaded coming home, expecting to see its stiff, little body waiting where she left it.

She listened when she came in late from her flight home, hoping against hope she’d hear a tiny meow, though doubting it was possible.  Nothing.  The next day when she went out, this frisky guy came prancing up to her, having survived several days on the food and water she’d left.  Though she hadn’t planned to adopt a kitten, little Noah had earned his home, having survived the flood.  Since then Noah has survived two mishaps.  Though her dog Izzy loves Noah, Noah startled Izzy in her sleep, and got seriously snapped for her trouble.  It happened again about a week later, nearly knocking little Noah senseless for a few minutes, and cutting her eye.  Today Noah’s eye opened and she appears to have vision.  Izzy is now careful about Noah, apparently not forgetting about her anymore.

Joke of the Day

Pays To Be Old

to be old

No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An Elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. 
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had 
moved back to their old neighbourhood after they retired. 

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.
I t was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk 
they’d shared where Andy had carved ‘I love you, Sally.’ 

On their way back ho me , a bag of money fell out of 
an armored car, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure 
what to do with it, they took it home. 
There, she counted the money:  
fifty-thousand dollars! 

Andy said, ‘We’ve got to give it back.’  

Sally said, ‘Finders keepers.’  

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. 
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood 
looking for the money and knocked on the door.

‘Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag 
that fell out of an armored car yesterday?’

Sally said, ‘No.’  

Andy said, ‘She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.’  

Sally said, ‘Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.’

The agents turn to Andy and began to question him.  

One says:  ‘Tell us the story from the beginning’  


Andy said, ‘Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . ..’

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, ‘We’re outta here.’

WordPress Tip – Guaranteed You Will Get More Readers!

Great tip from Belinda Crane

Give Us This Day

imageColonel Sanders called the Pope up one day and said, “You’ve got to help me out.  Chicken sales are way down.  I’ll pay you $10 million to change the Lord’s Prayer  to give us this day our Daily Chicken.”

The Pope said,”I can’t do that.  We can’t just change the Lord’s Prayer!”

The Colonel let it go but was back begging a few days later, “Your imminence, please help!  I’ll donate $50 million to the church!”

“Absolutely not!” Answered the Pope.  “The Lord’s Word is not for sale!”

A month or two later the Colonel was back.” Your imminence.  Please help!  All you have to do is change the Lord’s Prayer to give us our Daily Chicken.  It’s not that big of a deal.  Can’t you help me out for a $100 Million donation to the church?

“Well,” said the Pope.” That’s too great a donation for me to turn down without speaking to my advisors.  Let me speak to them and get back to you.”

When he spoke to the Cardinals, he said, “We’ve been offered a huge donation, but it’s not all good news.  It’s going to cost us the Wonder Bread Account.”

MEDS COCKTAIL PARTY SEPTEMBER 10th World Suicide Prevention Day

Reblog on nutsrok

That “Kathy Bates” Look

kathy bates in misery

Though it’s been awhile since I inflicted any mayhem upon him, my brother says it still gives him the “willies” when I get that “Kathy Bates” look.  I think he’s referring to the Annie Wilkes character she plays so winningly in the movie “Misery.”  To set the record straight, I love Kathy Bates and am delighted to be compared to her.  I find her personality sunny and delightful.  I don’t know what his problem is.   My brother and I had a few dustups as we grew up together, but goodness gracious, what children didn’t?  True, I had to set him straight from time to time, but never actually broke his legs with a sledgehammer.  We were raised in a Christian home and both knew Mother would murder us if we ever harmed each other to the point that one of us had to have stitches or a cast.  Money didn’t grow on trees.  Is there anything at all in this sweet face to suggest a “Kathy Bates” look?

First Grade School Picture

First Grade School Picture

Joke of the Day

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push

“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife. “Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers

. “Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not, it’s 3am in the morning and it’s bloody pouring rain out there!

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know.

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.

Swinging in a Waterfall

Ask Auntie Linda, September 2, 2015

Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  My daughter and I have been estranged  since I divorced her father twelve years ago and remarried.  She chose to stay with her father since I was leaving a loveless marriage for another man.  She has refused to see me since then.  She is now pregnant with her first child.  I have written and asked to see her with hopes of reconciling, but she has refused.  What more can I do?  I’d love to see her and my grandchild.  Lonely Grandma

Dear Lonely, You could write apologizing for the pain she felt growing up without a mother, making no excuses for yourself nor blaming her father in any way.  She knows you want to see her.  After, that, the ball is in her court.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda, My friend Tessie is living  with Joe and plans to marry him at Christmas.  This will be Tessie’s second marriage and Joe’s fourth.  I’ve seen Joe out with another woman.  Should I tell her?  Friend

Dear Friend, Can Tessie count?  If I were about to marry a man who’d already been married four times, I’d have to ask a question or two.  Nobody has that much bad luck.  If Tessie can’t figure it out, she probably won’t believe you.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I shop regularly at the local Goodwill and recently bought a pair a jeans for six dollars.  When I put them on later, I found five one-hundred dollar bills rolled up in the pocket.  I felt like it had to be left there by mistake , so I returned to the store to report I’d found a significant amount of money in a jeans pocket.  The management said it was not uncommon for people to find a five or ten in a pocket, but that was the most anyone had ever reported.  No one reported a loss, so the money was mine.  I suspect it was a kind-hearted donor.  Lucky Goodwiller

Dear Lucky,  Wouldn’ it be great if everybody helped when they could!