I have been MIA for a couple of weeks. I’ve been having my house updated and had no space or heart to work. Thank goodness, it’s done, so I’m back with a lighter heart and wallet. The next time this house gets work, it will be the kind d’s problem.
It is so easy to make Bud a perfect meal, I don’t know why I don’t do it every night.
There are several interchangeable choices. All I have to do is cook steak, chicken, roast beef or pork, ribs, or meatloaf with gravy. My second decision is between rice, stewed or mashed potatoes. The third decision is the side. Black-eyed peas, always Bud’s first choice, either pinto, lima, red, or green beans.
Of course, we need a bread. Biscuits, cornbread, or rolls are always fine. Should I feel particularly industrious, dessert is in order, preferably homemade apple pie or yellow cake with buttercream frosting.
I can throw all the salad in the trash. Oh yes, Bud always volunteers to make the gravy if its not cooked along with the meat.
I am a sucker for those stories that start out 10 ways to do something amazing, but never find anything that works for me. I am frugal by nature, very much aware of how hard I worked for every dollar.
With all the recent interest in Tiny Houses, it just occurred to me I have a gold-mine on my hands. I OWN a Tiny House, also known as a camper. I can market it as a trial Tiny Home, a 160 square foot slice of heaven. For the nervous novice, I could arrange Mentored Tiny Housing on beautiful two acre resort on a quiet tree-lined street, not far from the airport and city conveniences. For an additional exhorbitant expense, Tiny House Relationship Counseling could be included. “Don’t fart when the burners are on. Don’t eat beans. Resist the temptation to mention your partner is gaining weight when you are meeting yourselves coming and going.”For those who are thinking of sizing down AND starting a family, I believe I could provide the full experence by inviting one of my many nieces and nephews to run amok through the small space perodically, for an impressive charge, of course. Should they need to experience life with a shedding dog or a geriatric cat with complimentary catbox, I can also furnish that. Before you pare down your belongings and sink $60K into a Tiny House, give me a call. I can provide an enhanced experience for far less.
If all goes well, I may branch out and have my own reality show.
Don’t borrow money to live on while you go to school. If you must borrow, borrow only enough for tuition and books. You don’t need cable TV, Fancy cell phone plans, money for eating out or partying. If possible get a dependable roommate. If you work steadily, you won’t need entertainment. Peanut butter, whole wheat bread, and beans are nutritious, high protein foods, and you can keep them in a metal lockbox in your room if your roommate is a moocher.
Buy your clothes at resale shops and Goodwill if you don’t have cash. You don’t need as many as you think, especially if you don’t eat out and party. Take a job, any job, until you get one that pays better. Never quit one job till you have another. If your boss is an idiot, keep your mouth shut. If he really is stupid, he will undo himself without your help.
Live without credit cards. You will probably have to finance your first vehicle. Get a sturdy used car and drive it as long as you can. Luxury vehicles are for people with cash and those who plan to go bankrupt.
Start out with a small house. Pay more than the principle every month. Don’t upgrade till you have sufficient equity and cash. If you are a couple, make sure one of you can make the note if the other is out of a job or out of the picture. It happens.
Do without whatever you can’t pay cash for. You need less than you think. Take care of your vehicles and drive them as long as you can. Cook at home except for special occasions. Get a freezer and buy on sale. Enroll in a retirement plan as soon as you get a steady job at the highest rate you can afford. Increase your investment every time you get a raise. Chances are, the tax withholdings will make you bring home a lot more than you thought.
Take the vacation you can afford. Short days trips to the zoo and local attractions and camping, run far less than cruises and Disneyworld. Kids love this stuff.
When the kids are little, if you have the opportunity, work alternate shifts so one parent is with the kids as much as possible. You will save a fortune on daycare and have a better idea of what is going on. Teach kids the difference in what they want and what they need. It’s a good reminder for them and you.
Decrease your expectations. You don’t need all that stuff. Nobody cares, and if they do, find new friends.
Did I say it was quick and easy? I guess I was thinking in geological terms.
“I knew it! I knew it! I always knew I ain’t a girl!” Charley felt like a prisoner freed from jail. Now at least I don’t have to pretend. Can you fix me?”
“We have to go in and explore your belly to free up that testicle and check the other side, but can’t change what’s on the the outside.” Just want to make sure you understand before surgery. If the testicle is healthy, do you want to save it? The hormones are beneficial to men, and you’ll need it if you want to father a child. Who knows what’s down the road for you?” Dr. Farmer asked.
“Yes, I need it. I want to be a man. Can you take out my female parts? I ain’t never gonna have no baby and I hate the curse!”
“I don’t know about that. I’ve never heard of taking out a healthy uterus. Do you need a little time to think about this?” asked Charles. “It’s a big decision.”
“Dad, it’s not a decision. I’ve had sixteen years to live with this. I have always known I’m a boy in a girl’s body. Think of how hard bit would be for you to try to be a woman. Now I don’t have to pretend. It’s over.” Charley looked relieved.
Charles felt awful for his part in Charley’s troubles, knowing his decision had and would cntinue to effect his child forever. “Well Dr. Farmer, I guess Charley is ready to go to surgery. I’ll be here when you get back, Charley.”
“Dad, you’ve always been here for me.”
“Okay, Charley, while I am in there, I’ll look for the other testicle. We don’t want to have to put you to go through this again,” Dr. Farmer’s positive attitude encouraged them both.
The two hours of Charley’s surgery were the longest of Charles’s life as he mourned the troubles he and nature were putting Charley through. He prayed for guidance to be able to support Charley down this difficult road. He’d never known anyone who went from female to male and knew it would be rough.
Charley was back in two hours, groggy but fine. Dr. Farmer gave her a few minutes to rouse before visiting. “Good news, folks. Charley has two healthy testicles. There’s also an undersized uterus, which I didn’t disturb. I wasn’t able to examine the ovaries without making a much larger incision, so I left that alone. If you ever have gynecological issues, we can take care of those as the need arises.
“So I can expect to become more male?” Charley asked.
“I’d expect so. You already have a lean, muscular body type, much like your father. I do see signs of a sparse beard sprouting. The testicles are now resting in what was your labia. Your vagina appears normal. Your urinary tract in normal position for a female, so that here’s no change there. Intervention would be a painful and the outcome uncertain, and I don’t have the expertise to do that. I recommend you continue as you are. To sum it up, you are a healthy male with a few female parts thrown into in. It is possible you could father children, given what I see.” This is a lot to think about, so feel free to ask questions as you think of them. ” Dr. Farmer shook hands with them both before leaving.
Charles turned to Charley, “That was a good feeling,” Charley mused. “MY first time to shake hands, man to man.”
I’ve never posted a household hint but this might help you. To get rid of ants, scatter cucumber peels about. Ants HATE them. They’ll be gone in no time. I didn’t believe it till I tried it. I know it sounds crazy but it works!
Dear Auntie Linda, My mother is seventy-four and moved in with me and my husband four years ago. She is in good health, still drives, and is active…
Dear Auntie Linda, September 9 2015
When you live in the South and visit old folks in the country, the first thing you have to do is admire their garden. You’re liable to come home with a “mess of greens.” For the unenlightened, greens include turnips, collards, or mustard greens. Boiled down low, with a bit of pork, and garnished with a splash of “pepper sauce,” greens make a delicious meal. A true connoisseur polishes off by sopping up the juice, or pot-liquor with cornbread. If you’re above the Mason-Dixon Line, try a roll.
That’s the happy ending. Now, we get down to the nitty gritty, literally. Greens have to be “looked and washed.” The first step is dispossessing the wildlife who habituate greens. Nobody wants to find half a worm or a cluster of bug eggs in their pot-liquor. You have to give both sides of each rumpled leaf a good look, wash, and then wash and rinse copiously.
I’d heard the glorious news that greens could be washed in the washing machine, cutting down tremendously on prep time. The next time Bud came in wagging a bag no of greens, I didn’t moan like normal, having recently heard the good news that greens could be washed in the washing machine. As usual, the basic information registered, not the total technique. I loaded the washer with dirty greens and detergent and hit the start button. Quite a while later, the alarm sounded, and I went to retrieve my sparkling greens. Alas, no greens remained, just a few tough stems and a few bits of leaves. A follow-up conversation with my friend revealed that I should have only washed them on gentle and not continue to spend.
Though I hoped he’d forget, Bud came in that night expecting greens. I feigned innocence. “What greens?”
It didn’t fly. “The greens I brought in yesterday.”
It’s hard to come up with an excuse how precious greens went missing. I gave up and told the truth, though I don’t like worrying Bud stuff with gets his blood pressure up. I’m considerate that way. “They went down the drain.”
“How in the Hell did they go down the drain?” I don’t know why he gets all up in my housekeeping and cooking business.
“They just did. Now don’t keep asking nosy questions!”
“Exactly what drain and how did that happen?”
“The washing machine drain.” I hoped if I answered matter-of-factly, he’d move on. I didn’t work.
“You put greens in the washing machine? What in the Hell were you thinking?” I hate it when he apes back what I’ve just said. I’ve told him it gets on my nerves.
“It takes forever to look and wash greens. Jenny told me she puts hers in the washer and it works great. I didn’t realize I wasn’t supposed to put them through spin.”
“Grouch, grouch, grouch @^%&( , #@$%! Don’t ever put )(^%&# greens in the washer, again.”
“Okay, okay. Don’t go on forever about it. I get tired of your nagging”
Since then I’ve been careful not to spin them. It works great.
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Stories from a cemetery researcher, pipeline wife, amateur farmer & mom!
Empowering our People
having fun since 1995.
"Creative Insights for Designers & Digital Artists
Emmitt Owens
Let’s fix it
Finding Meaning in Modern Life
Real motherhood. Real fun. Real life with two wild boys.
Exploring biblical promises and their fulfillment in Israel and the Middle East.
Online hookup services
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Nutsrok 