Daddy

Cousin Wayne Saves the Day (Part 2 of Robert Gordon, Wayne, Robbing Nanny, and Look Out Pope)

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I wrote of my my mother, Kathleen’s laundry list against her cousin’s Robert Gordon and Wayne Perkins just the other day, mentioning her intention to tell Robert Gordon what a hellion should she ever met him again, even if he were Pope.  It’s fortunate she never had that little conversation with his partner-in-crime, Wayne, since she found herself in need of his friendship one day early in her marriage.

Daddy was a busy man who had priorities.  These included good times with his brothers and brothers-in-law and manly business.  That being said, we spent endless weekends with his family, careening out our drive on Fridays after and not often not getting back till late on Sunday night, despite the fact that there were young children to be bathed, homework to be done, and the week ahead to be prepared for.  That was woman’s business.  Fortunately, he was not a woman.

At any rate, at the close of school every year, Mother would break the news that yet again, she was going to visit her parents this summer.  They’d fight a while till they’d reach an impasse.

Outraged, he’d insist she wasn’t going.  She’d go on making her plans.  Finally he threw out a challenge, “Well, If you go, you’re not coming back.”

She went on with her packing. “We have to be at the train by two.”

Defeated, he asked.  “When will you be back?”

“Pick me up two weeks from today.  I’ll travel through the night so I won’t have to wrestle with the baby so much.”

Two weeks later, when we got off the train, Daddy wasn’t there.  Mother was disgusted, but not too surprised.  He was always late.  At nine, she called Aunt Julie who told her Daddy and Uncle Parnell had just left there to see a man about a dog, but had mentioned he was supposed to pick her up.  He was just going to be a couple of hours late.  Of course, Mother was furious, but had no choice but to wait.  She called Aunt Julie back later, who hadn’t seen the men.  By eleven she had thirty cents left, we were starving, and the baby was guzzling the last bottle.  Mother wracked her brain till she remembered her Cousin Wayne lived nearby.  She looked his number up and called.  Miraculously, he and his wife were  home.  Upon hearing her plight, he picked us up at the train, took us home for lunch, fixed the baby up with a bottle and a nap, and let Mother use the phone to tell Aunt Julie she’d found a ride, after all.  It was mid-afternoon by now.  Daddy still hadn’t gotten back from seeing about that dog.  Cousin Wayne kindly took us home.  Daddy was delighted to see us when he finally came in with his new hunting dog and not surprised at all that Mother had somehow gotten a ride home from the train station.  What a guy!  I don’t know why she never killed him.

If You Can Hear Us……..

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Our community, like all small communities, had its well-loved ghost, Sally Macon. Like all kids, my sisters and Bud’s sisters, loved to play seance. We grew up within three miles of each other, so they spent a lot of time together. All the girls had gotten hooked on the Gothic Soap, “Dark Shadows,” featuring ghosts, vampires, and spooky seances. The girls were hidden in Connie’s dark bedroom around a flickering candle, calling to Sallie. “Aunt Sallie, if you hear us, make yourself known.” they chanted in unison. Mother saw the flickering candle light under the door and listened in long enough to realize what was up. She eased outside, scratched on Connie’s window and moaned, “Woooooo!”

Terrified they’d actually raised the dead, the four girls nearly beat each other to death tearing out of the room. In their haste, they ran over Daddy, stretched out napping in his recliner. In his panic, he started yelling, “Get out! Get out! The house in on fire.” By this time, of course Mother was back in, surveying all the excitement. The four girls eventually walked back from wherever they’d run, to find out Aunt Sally hadn’t come calling after all.

good pic of Dad

Lunch Bucket Blues

dirty dishwaterLife at our house was a mad-house on better days.  Daddy worked rotating shifts.  For second shift he had to leave the house by two in the afternoon.  He always had a lot going on before work, so he wouldn’t sit down to dinner (lunch) until one or one-fifteen.  Mother always served a hot, sit-down meal with meat, two vegetables, and biscuits or cornbread.  According to Daddy, she was disorganized, so it challenged her to get Continue reading →

Are You Hungry?

gravyThat was the first question Daddy asked every person who entered his house, should they be a friend, relative, or Kirby Vacuum Cleaner Salesman who happened to be hopelessly lost on the back roads of rural Bossier Parish.  Raised during The Great Depression, always hungry, he frequently did a day’s work for no more than food.  He swore if he ever got grown, no one would ever leave his house hungry.  “Are you hungry?  Kathleen will fix you something to eat!”   The burden of his good intentions Continue reading →

People Ought Not to Have to Live That Way

imageAfter his father died , Daddy told of his family moving in a battered old shack sitting in a open field occupied by a bull and herd of cows.  It was really not much better than a barn, just unpainted planks with unfinished walls inside, tin roof visible above the open rafters. The  cows offered little threat, but the Jersey bull raged when the cows were in heat.  Mettie and the kids had to always had to keep a look out for him when they stepped outdoors to do laundry or fetch water from the well.  Mettie kept the little girls close by in case they had to make a run for the house.  She and the older boys made sure he was nowhere around before starting across the open field to the road. Continue reading →

Big Mouth

When my brother Billy was a kid, my parents dreaded hearing whatever might come out of  his mouth.  Daddy took him to the store with him one day.  As Billy stood on the top step, Daddy and his friend Mr. Shorty stood on the ground talking.  Billy happily reached over, patted Mr. Shorty affectionately on his bald head, and said, “Well hello, little, short fat man.”

Not long afterward, Mother looked out the kitchen window to see Daddy’s friend with one leg, Mr. Charley headed to the front door.  She rushed to the living room, trying to get there before Billy, could ask what happened to his other leg.  She was too late.  As she walked into the room, Biily turned from Mr. Charley at the door to tell her, “Mama, a skeeter bit his leg off!”

My cousin kept hitting Billy.  Mother told Billy to “hit hit back.”  The next time that kid showed up, Billy kept asking Mother, “Can I hit him now, Mama?  Can I hit him now?”

Hysteria in the Night

man and womanMother awoke to the chilling realization that someone was trying to break in the house. “Bill! Bill! Wake up Bill! Somebody’s trying to get in!!”   Daddy didn’t normally sleep: he went into a coma, but adrenaline jolted him into action. He grabbed his loaded shotgun and crept to the window.  In the darkness, a tiny light glowed in the darkness of the front porch.  It wasn’t just Mother’s imagination!  Someone was trying to get in! Continue reading →

Relaxing Weekend in the Country With Family

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My mother found this hilarious letter among her things today.  My grandmother was in a foul mood when she wrote it.  I recalled this weekend like it was yesterday when I read the letter.  Grandma was nosy.  She like to get right behind Daddy, quizzing him about his business and his family.  He wasn’t a patient man.  That certainly didn’t endear her to Continue reading →

Mothers Day Pinto

Mother was a slow learner.  It took her forever to learn that Daddy was not the thoughtful kind of guy who would ever surprise her with lovely gifts and gestures.  He was more the kind of guy who felt sorry for himself when she got her feelings hurt or got mad.  After all, he was pretty sure he’d gotten her something last year, for her birthday or Christmas, one or the other.  What had she done with that eggbeater?

This year was going to be different.  Virgil Hughes had a nice Pinto horse.  It was a good deal since it “wasn’t broke” yet.  Nobody really wanted it since it stomped Euless and broke his leg, but Daddy was sure he could make a fine riding horse out of it.  Kathleen was scared of horses, but she’d get over that.  If she didn’t, he’d ride it.  Daddy stopped off on the way home from work the Friday before Mother’s Day to pick it up.  It was kicking the side rails when he pulled in.  He called Mother out to see her beautiful Pinto and she hit the ceiling.  “Of all the things I need, you come bringing in a horse.  We need another useless animal to feed like I need a hole in the head.”  She stormed in, furious.

Daddy stomped off, putting the horse in the pasture.  “Kathleen didn’t appreciate anything he did for her.  It would be a cold day in Hell before he brought her anything else!

Happy Mother’s Day!