Bumps in the Road Part 5

Bill made it his business to find out about Kathleen.  She shared a room with her old maid sister at the Clarksville hotel, which also functioned as a boarding house.  She heard she already had a boyfriend, but taking care of that wasn’t much of a hill for a climber. He called for her at the hotel.  The clerk called up the stairs.  “Miss Kathleen, you got a call.” 

Kathleen and her boyfriend, Gene, had tentative plans to go to the movies., if he got back in time from his delivery run.  She really wanted to go to the movie and if he didn’t call now, it would be too late.  She was already mad when the clerk called up the stairs.  Gene had stood her up one too many times getting back too late! “Miss Kathleen, you got a call.” Relieved, she grabbed her purse and a sweater and bounced down the stairs.

Grabbing the phone breathlessly, thinking it was Gene, she spoke impatiently, “I thought you’d never call.  I’ve been waiting for you!”

Bill cackled, anticipating her embarrassment. “Girl, if I’d known you wanted me to call that bad, I’d have called sooner!” She was mortified! 

“I thought you were somebody else!” she snapped, irritated, “my boyfriend, calling to take me to the movie.”

“Now don’t hang up!  I’ll take you to the movie.” Bill offered.

There was a bit of a backstory here.  Only sixty miles from Clarksville, Texas, in Texarkana, between February and May, 1946, The Phantom Killer had killed and maimed several couples, creeping up on them on parked cars on Lover’s Lanes.  One person was even attacked in her rural home.  Everyone was one edge. Women were warned not to go out with strangers and definitely not to go parking.  It was a terrifying time.

Gene had left her waiting one too many times. Though she knew she shouldn’t, she accepted his invitation.  The Phantom Killer operated around Texarkana, after all.  Bill picked her up in an impressive coupe. The only flaw was a missing door handle on the passenger side, so she had to slide in under steering wheel. Chiding herself, she climbed in and they were off.  This seemed like a bad idea.  She could never tell Annie or Mama and Daddy she’d gone out with a strange man.

Bill hadn’t eaten yet , so they decided to stop off for a bite, then catch the late movie.  They got there to late to get a close spot,  so they had to park on a side street, a couple of blocks from thee movie.  Kathleen thought nothing of this.  After the movie let out, Bill met a friend who was also leaving.  He stood and talked to his buddy for about twenty minutes before the friend got into his nearby car and drove away. The abandoned streets increased her anxiety as  they walked her to his lonesome car a few blocks away. Again, she had to  slide in on driver’s s side before edging as close as she could to the handleless door. He sat there quietly while lighting a cigarette. looking even bigger in the dark. She  knew then she had no business being alone with this man she didn’t know..  He exhaled, then turned to look at her and spoke softly, “What would you say if I told you I was the phantom Killer?”

She knew in that moment she was going to die, so she bluffed.  ” I have a gun in my purse.”

Realizing he had gone too far, Daddy folded.  “I had you fooled for a minute, didn’t I?” He  laughed starting the car.

She married him three weeks later.

Addendum:  Daddy couldn’t have been the killer.  He was working hundreds of miles away at the time.  The killer was never caught.

Perfect Timing

Life presents us some perfect moments it would be a sin to ignore.  Bud, my husband of fifty-four years, and I were walking across a parking lot on a drizzly day when Bud noticed my boot lace was flopping.  “Tie your shoe!”

“I’ll tie it when I get inside.  I’m not standing in the rain to tie it,” I spouted.

“Stop!  You’re gonna break your dang neck!  I’ll tie it!”. He dropped to his knee on the wet pavement to tie it just as two men walked by.

“No,” I protested.  “I won’t marry you! Now get up.”

They burst into laughter as they passed us.

Just Desserts

Since I’ve been writing a lot about pies, I thought I’d repost this story about a dirty trick I pulled on my brother.  He is still pouting.Bean Pie0001Billy was a good eater. He was over six feet tall by the time he was twelve, worked hard every day and was always hungry. Since Daddy had known real hunger growing up during the depression, he encouraged him to “eat well.” Billy liked to drink his milk from a quart jar to cut down on troublesome refills, and he would hurt a kid over a piece of leftover fried chicken.  When Mother was serving chicken, he’d take a piece or two, eat a couple of bites, put it on his plate, and go for seconds. This made sure he got plenty before it ran out.  By the time he was in high school, if there were leftovers, Mother took to freezing them, hoping to have some for the next meal.  He caught on to that and soon she’d hear the creaking of the freezer door in the dark.

Knowing he was always ravenous when he came in after a late basketball game, Mother once left him a plate of steak and potatoes and a bowl of banana pudding on the counter.  Mistaking the pudding for gravy, he spread it generously over his steak and potatoes.  He said it was awful, but scraped it off and ate it anyway.

Nothing delighted me more than to get the best of him.  Counting on his gluttony, I laid a trap.  I fried up a batch of fresh peach pies, golden and flaky, and left them on a plate on the table.  The topmost pie was the biggest, flakiest, and most tempting of all.  I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist it.  It was filled with salty beans.

Phyllis and I stepped behind the door when we saw him coming.  Lured by the tantalizing aroma of fresh peach pie, he fell into my trap, tearing into that horrible pie.  You can imagine the rest…

Dirty Trick

As we walked across the Walmart parking lot this afternoon, my husband of forty-five years, Bud, pointed out my loose bootlace. I had no intention of bending over in the parking lot to tie it, so replied, “I have a backache.  I’ll tie it later.”

Bud couldn’t deal with the idea of the flopping shoelace, so he rolled his eyes and grumped,  “You can’t walk around like that.  You’ll break your danged neck.  Stand still.  I’ll tie it!”

With that, he dropped down on one knee to tie it, just as a couple of guys walked by, obviously wondering what was going on.

I couldn’t pass up this opportunity, spouting,  “No, I won’t marry you!  Now get up!”