Dog Joke

Best Dog Jokes of the Day

A Boxer, a German Shepherd and a Rottweiler are sitting in the grass having a conversation when the Boxer pipes up “I think we can all agree that I am the best dog ever!”
The German Shepherd smiled and said “Well my friend, last night God came to me in a dream and told me that it was me that was the best dog ever!”
The Rottweiler turned around with a horrified expression and said “I said what?”

A dog had followed his owner to school. His owner was a fourth grader at a public elementary school. When the bell rang, the dog sidled inside the building and made it all the way to the child’s classroom with him before a teacher noticed him and shooed him back outside, closing the door behind him. The dog sat down outside the door, whimpering and staring at the closed doors and not understanding in the least as to why he was refused entry. Then God appeared beside the dog, patted him on the head to comfort him and said, “Don’t feel bad fella’…they won’t let ME in there either.”

Here boy!

Paddy is extremely upset when his dog runs away. 

His wife says to him “Paddy, why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”

Paddy thinks that this is a great idea so he proceeds to do so.

Paddy hasn’t heard anything back from the ad in weeks when his wife asks him “What did you you put in the ad for our missing dog Paddy?”

“Here boy!”

Here, Boy!!

A woman walks into a psychoanalyst’s office and says, “Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a dog! Please help.”

The doctor pats the couch., “Okay, Buddy, hop up here.”

The woman quickly snapped back, “Oh no, he’s not allowed on the couch!”

Tasteless Dog Joke

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, “It’s my dog. Why?”

“Well,” squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, “I believe my dog just killed it, sir.”

“What?” roared the big man in disbelief. “What in the world kind of dog do you have?”

“Sir,” answered the little man, “it’s a little four week old female puppy.”

“Bull!” roared the biker, “how could your puppy kill my Doberman?”

“It appears that your dog choked on her, sir.”