family stories

Finish the Story#5 Update

Ben and Kelly had been married seven years with three children. He was a CPA with a large firm, a very lucrative position. Kelly was a registered nurse. Kelly had to work alternate weekends so she wasn’t as involved in church activities as Ben. One day he announced to Kelly that he intended to leave home s CPA position, attend seminary, and become a minister.

Finish the story:

I got several very different but interesting responses. Can you relate to any of theses?

joannerambling
joannerambling.wordpress.com
joanne62_04@hotmail.com

What the hell Ben, you’re Catholic and Catholic priests can’t be married, Ben replied I said minister not priest, I don’t intend on telling them I’m Catholic, so you’re going to become a minister in a different religion and just not tell them you’re Catholic and attend mass weekly are you going to continue to go to mass? 
Ben took a deep breathe and said yes I will continue to go to mass, Kelly just looked at him like he was out of his mind, which he must be unless this is some kind of joke. Yes Kelly thought this is some kind of joke he can’t be serious, so I will play along. Ok if this is what you truly want I will support you. 

So when will you be going off to the what did you call it a seminary and how long will you be gone and do they pay you while you are there learning how to be a minister? 

Ben said he didn’t know he was going to find out more the next day, Kelly said ok just let me know and do we have to sell the house and do you get a car like you did with the job you had because you can’t drive mine, I need it.

Ben looked confused and said let me find out more and we will talk about it later. Thinking to himself what the hell and I getting myself into.

Anyone know what comes next………

It never occurred to me they might be Catholic! What a twist!…..

Dawna
lovelifewithdawna.wordpress.com
lovelifewithdawna@gmail.com
172.89.197.189

Kelly was stunned to say the least. She knew with Ben as a CPA and her as a nurse they could live a very lucrative life. She told Ben that perhaps he should rethink his decision, after all she said, we could donate more financially to the church if you continue on as a CPA and the church could really use the funds. “Ben” she said, “please rethink this. You can keep on volunteering and you could even get a little more involved in the church. Become a assistant pastor.”

“I can’t do that Kelly, God has called me to a higher calling.”

“But all the years of schooling you’ve already done. What about our dreams to buy our forever home? What about having children and traveling? You becoming the coach of little league? What about our dreams?” Kelly asked as she held the tears from overtaking her. 

“Kelly, I have to do this. I understand if you want a different life, but I am committed to the church and to God.”

‘I am too Kelly shouted! I am too. I just don’t know if I want to be a preachers wife. This is something that never entered my mind. Lots of great and amazing people attend church and are involved, but they don’t all throw away their careers and lives to become preachers.”

“My mind is made up Kelly, I’m doing this.”

“Well Ben, I sure do hope they can teach you there in that seminary school that when you are a married man, you don’t just make life altering decisions without talking to your spouse. I hope they teach you that as a husband you need to consider your wife’s feelings and work together in coming to a place you both want to be. I hope they teach you that you can still give your all to God and the church without being a pastor or minister.”

Ben thought about what Kelly was saying. He looked at her and he began to cry. Ben took her in his arms and begged her to forgive him. They fell to their knees and Ben began to pray out loud pleading for God to hear his prayer and to give him guidance. Ben petitioned God in prayer and he thanked Him for the blessing that was right in front of him, his wife Kelly. 

It was in that moment that Kelly took Ben’s face in her hands and in the most loving voice told him, “follow the path that God lays out for you, no matter what that path is. I will support you and stand by you. I love you.”

Tamyra Miller
simplelifecare1.wordpress.com
tammiller1971@icloud.com
50.96.33.95

At first I think she was in shock. She didn’t understand his desire because she worked and didn’t attend church with him.
Hopefully she accepted it after much discussion with him

This was another good one!

Looking for the Light
LookingfortheLight.blog
msandorm@icloud.com
47.187.202.104

Kelly slapped him across the face, what does he think he’s doing making a life change of that magnitude which affects the kids without discussing. Then she asked him to sit down and explain his plan, where is the money coming from, how is he going to replace the missed income, does he plan to go to school out of state and who the hell is going to help with the kids. Whne Ben could not answer a single question, Kelly said the plan was on hold and that he can start to get a feel of what giving your life to the church is like by volunteering twice a week. I like strong smart women!

A couple of men weighed in.

Ernie ‘Dawg’
dawgydaddyresponds.org
ernestfederspiel13@gmail.com
174.84.206.31

Divorce papers were soon filed and Kelly’s settlement paid her way through college to receive her doctors degree.

davidprosser
barsetshirediaries.wordpress.com
dmfpro1@gmail.com
80.43.8.61

Kelly rightly informed Ben that her salary alone woul not be enough to support their family and she could not do more hours without the family suffering. She asked that Ben reconsider his change of job only when the children were no longer dependant and thre was no oustanding mortgage on their property. At that time she said she’s be more in a position to support his move to the Ministry. Ben agreed that his timing was perhaps not right and would delay any decision until their children no longer needed his financial imput and their education was complete. He would continue to offfer support to his church at his current level until a change was viable.

I loved all these responses. It’s interesting how everyone sees the situation differently. I would have had a hard time being supportive of supportive of a husband choosing to go into the ministry. I don’t think any man interested in the ministry would want me as a partner. Lots of times I’m the last to know what’s about to come out of my mouth. I’d probably get us both tarred and feathered.

These are all wonderful writers. Please click on links to check out their sites. Thanks to all of you.

Southern Baptist Dinner on the Grounds: A Culinary Tradition

My favorite days in my Southern Baptist upbringing were “Dinner on the Grounds” after church. On these rare and glorious days, all the women brought their finest dishes to be spread out on picnic tables, or in earlier times, tablecloths or quilts on the church lawn. Competition was fierce to be recognized as the best of the best. People strolled among the entrees, choosing foods that looked the tastiest.

Fried chicken was the most popular offering but the aroma of mouth-watering meatloaf beckoned the hungry. Chicken and dumplings tempted ravenous worshippers. Huge bowls of potato salad, greens, and homegrown green beans with slabs of bacon made a show. Squash casseroles, sliced homegrown tomatoes, cucumbers, homemade pickles of all kinds, and sliced onions tempted the adults. No self-respecting kid would have wasted stomach room on vegetables when there was fried chicken and dessert to be had. Of course, there was homemade rolls, biscuits, and cornbread to be slathered with butter.

Dessert tempted even the pickiest eater: chocolate, coconut, pineapple upside down cake and pound cake vied for attention. Tables groaned under the weight of lemon meringue, chocolate, apple, and sweet potato pies. There might even be a mock-apple pie. Finally, there might be homemade vanilla or peach ice-cream, the favorite dessert of them all.

After lunch, men congregated to discuss farming, fishing, or politics. The women gathered around picnic tables to discreetly nurse or rock their babies while gossiping or discussing their husbands or children. Of course, dresses and babies were admired. They might tacitly calculate the date a new wife’s baby was due. This could be discussed at leisure at morning coffee with friends later in the week.

Hysterically happy children ripped about the churchyard and cemetery after dinner. Initially, parents tried to curb them but usually gave up and let them race about as the heavy lunch took its toll on parental energy. There would be howling kids and skinned knees as the afternoon dragged on. By the time clean up was complete, play weary children’s whining and irritability made it clear that the festivities were nearing their end. Women promised to exchange dress patterns and recipes while men said their farewells. A wonderful afternoon would be at its end.

Lou and Lynn Part 17 Family Bonds: A Day of Hard Work and Laughter

Uncle Albert was in his sixties, the weathered family patriarch. He’d had a hand in raising all his sister’s children since their father died young. They were all well aware that they might have starved without him. He was grouchy and not particularly fond of youngsters, so the young cousins had learned to steer clear of him.

Well-digging was an arduous task. A sturdy frame was built over the chosen spot. The nephews took turns using a pick and shovel to dig. Others pulled up buckets of the hard, red clay. Before long, they were all shirtless and sweating. Despite the difficulty, the work continued at a rapid pace since there was always a fresh worker to take the place of a fatigued one.

They enjoyed working together and laughed frequently.
The women laid out a feast and called the children to eat before calling the men. Lou had never seen so such a large family. There must have been twenty children, most under twelve. Lynn had three cousins her age. Billy had three his age. There was a gaggle of babies and toddlers. There was never a quiet moment. The frantic mothers served their children plates of potato salad, beans and fried chicken and sent them off to sit on the ground and eat. The kids gobbled what they wanted and wasted the rest, rushing back to play.

The men crowded around the table, heaping their plates high. The women served themselves last. “This sure is some fine cooking.” one said.

”Pass the beans!” said another. They teased each other and the women all through the meal.

”Ronnie! Get out’a the road.” shouted Aunt Bessie! “Don’t make me get my switch.”

Warnings were frequently shouted at the wild children if they went near the well, hill, or river.

Lou had never played so excitedly. There were simultaneous games of baseball and hide and seek. General chaos ensued when younger children got too close and went down like bowling pins.

There were scoldings and swats aplenty when kids pushed their harried mothers too far, something that Lou had never seen. Most amazing of all, Lou was introduced to the outdoor toilet, a crude outbuilding built over a hole in the ground. “This is gross!” Lou said as she examined the facilities.


“You think this is gross! Wait till it’s been here a while. Whew!” Lynn laughed. “You won’t stay any longer than you can help”

They’d all been warned away from the log cabin in progress but eventually the parents’ vigilance wore thin. Mothers were putting the youngest ones down to nap on pallets. Suddenly, a rumble, clatter and shrieking came from the cabin. A couple of kids had slipped in and climbed on the log walls, collapsing them. Fortunately, nothing more serious than scrapes and bruises resulted.

Uncle Albert was clearly furious at the destruction of the cabin he’d worked so hard on. “You little devils. Y’all was told to stay out’a there! If you was mine I’d tan yore sorry hides.” The culprits were sternly lectured and some spanked by their fathers. The embarrassed men left the digging to the others and spent the rest of the day restacking logs. They brought them to an even higher level to make up for their boys’ bad behavior. Uncle Albert’s mood improved as the walls grew higher, though he continued to glare at the reckless boys.

As the day dragged on the sun went down and mosquitoes started to bite. Somebody built a bonfire. Mothers put insect repellent on the children and began to rock their sleepy babies.

”I sure wish they would knock off so we could get these kids home to bed.” Aunt Kat said.

”I know.” said Aunt Bonnie. “ They’re gonna have to finish tomorrow anyway.”

The kids raced in and out of the shadows of the fire, drunk on the joy of cousin-play. Finally the men gave up their digging, making the decision to continue Sunday morning. Sleeping babies were loaded in to vehicles for the trip home. Lynn, Lou, and Billy climbed into the back of the truck. Aunt Kat wrapped a them snuggly in an old quilt.

”Mother, it’s too hot!” Billy protested.

”It won’t be when we get going.” Aunt Kat said.

Sure enough, as soon as they started it was cool. The night was glorious. They looked up at the brilliant stars in the dark sky while bouncing along the wooded road. They were asleep before they’d gone a mile.



To be continued:

Lou and Lynn Part 16 Uncle tAlbert’s Riverfront Cabin: A dangerous Family Adventure

Uncle Albert was building his house atop a hill over the river. Actually, he was taking apart his old log cabin and moving it near the river where he was reassembling it log by log with the help of his many nephews. Before he could get to that, he had to have a water well. Even though most people would have hired a business to drill one. Uncle Albert wouldn’t be doing that. He had no money. His nephews agreed to pitch in and dig one for him knowing they’d have to dig at least twenty feet to reach water.

The work had already started when Mr. Al came bumping up. Numerous cousins came running up to the truck calling “Lynn!” Or “Billy!” The children jumped out of the truck, ready to play with their cousins.

”Be careful!” called Aunt Kat, her warning falling on their disappearing backs. She went to join the women at a makeshift picnic area. Mr. Al joined the diggers at the well site.

One of the children had brought his red wagon. “Hey! Let’s take this wagon to the top of that hill and coast down!.” Several children climbed the gravel road up the steep hill, prepared to do that. Once they got there and looked down, Allen, the wagon’s owner reconsidered. The river’s high banks stretched near the bottom of the ride. “I changed my mind. Somebody else go first.”

”We’ll go.” called Lynn, glad for the first turn. She and Lou climbed in Allen gave the wagon a shove. They fairly flew down the hill, Lynn guiding the rattling wagon through the gravel. Dust fogged up behind them. The clattering of the descending wagon and cheers of the children caught the attention of their elders, who were horrified at the sight of the wagon flying down the hill toward the river below!

They dropped their work, shouting “Stop! Stop! The wagoneers could do nothing but hang on and pray for their lives. It turns out, Lynn and Lou got not only the first ride but the only ride. Lynn narrowly avoided crashing them off the high bluff into the river below.

The girls were rewarded with an angry lecture on how they’d nearly killed themselves. The wagon was confiscated!

To be continued:

Lynn and Lou Part 15 Gathering Eggs: A Chicken Farm Tale

”Hurry and get dressed! We’re going to Uncle Albert’s today. The men are going to pitch in and dig him a well. Lynn, you and Lou go let the chickens out of the henhouse and feed them. Take this bucket and gather the eggs on your way back in. Billy put out water for the dogs and the chickens. Do NOT get wet. Come straight back in.”

The kids took off. Lynn opened the henhouse door and the chickens swarmed out. A fat hen jumped on top of Lou’s head. It was terrifying. She screamed and ran all over the chicken yard. The hen got tired of the wild ride and jumped off. Lynn laughed till tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you they do that sometimes. We raised all our chickens from babies, so they still think they’re tiny chicks.”

Yeah, sure, I’ll bet you forgot.” Lou replied. She wasn’t much upset. It probably did look funny.

“If you’re still scared, I’ll feed the chickens. They flock all around trying to get to the feed. One of them might jump on you. They won’t hurt you.” Lynn said.

”That’s okay. I was just surprised. I’ll feed them.” She scattered chicken feed all inside the chicken yard. They quickly lost interest in her. “This is actually kind of fun.”

Lynn took the egg basket over to the row of nesting boxes. They were about head high. Rather than take the time to climb the ladder, Lynn stood on tiptoe, pulling one egg from each nest. When she reached in the last nest, she screamed and took off at a run, slinging eggs along the way. “Snake! Snake! Mother! There’s a snake in the nest!” she screamed. “I hate snakes!”

Aunt Kat came at a run. She grabbed a hoe next to the chicken yard gate. She climbed a couple of steps up the ladder and raked the snake out on the ground where she chopped his head off with the hoe. The dogs were going crazy with joy. One grabbed the head, another the body. Feeling cheated, the others took off after the two lucky ones, trying to snatch their prize. Aunt Kat laughed and put her hands on her hips, “Well, I bet I won’t have to remind anybody not to reach in the nest without looking, will I? She gathered up the few unbroken eggs. “Girls, take the hoe and scratch some dirt over these broken eggs. We don’t want the dogs to start sucking eggs. Hurry, Daddy’s almost ready to go.”

The kids were in awe of what she’d done.”Your mother is the bravest woman I’ve ever seen!” said Lou: “I’m so glad I didn’t gather eggs.”

When they got back in, Mr. Al was loading the old truck with shovels and rope. Aunt Kat and the girls brought out a big basket with picnic lunch. “Get in the back and sit down. Don’t you climb up on the rails. If I have to stop and straighten you out, it won’t be good!”

”Yes Sir” they all answered. No one could have convinced her to move. She’d never seen anyone ride in the back of a truck.

Aunt Kat came around to the back of the truck and handed Lynn a brown paper bag of hot sausage biscuits with jam. “You each have two apiece, but don’t waste them. You might want one for a snack later” she said. She got in the cab of the truck. She put Connie in the car seat and clung to the little baby as the truck bumped off down the gravel road. Dust fogged up behind the truck.

Lou dug in. The biscuit sandwiches were so good, she gobbled both. What a wonderful way to start the morning.

Lynn and Lou Part 9 Fear: Lou’s Story of Being Lost

Sheriff Mason left, promising to be back the next morning. It sounded like a threat. “Sit right here.” Lynn’s daddy said. I need to ask you some questions. Lynn go on and do the dishes. This is gonna take a while.” Lynn’s Mother sat nearby, rocking the baby “Now, Lou, you couldn’t possibly have ridden here from Houston today. Do you really believe that or are you hiding something? Look me in the eye. You’re in a lot of trouble and we can’t help you if you aren’t honest” He stared at her fiercely without blinking.

Lou felt sick. How could she be in Louisiana when she was in her normal life in Houston this morning. All she did was take a little ride with Grandma and now this crazy mess. Grandma was gone. She was alone with strangers. The sheriff was probably going to take her to jail in the morning. She wanted to go home! Now! She wanted her mom and her cozy bed. She tried to talk but all she do was cry. The more she thought, the more confused she got. She began to cry harder. It seemed like her life was over. She continued to cry, getting more and more overwhelmed. She’d never felt more lost! No one had ever been more lost. It seemed like the flood gates opened pouring out all her fear and loss. Her sobs got louder and more ragged. Snot poured out of her nose. There were just no words.
Lynn’s mother handed the baby to her husband and said, “That’s enough for tonight. She’s just a little girl, and confused. That’s enough for tonight. Lynn, let’s get Lou ready for bed. She can bunk in with you. Al, you can rock the baby to sleep.”

”But I’ve got to get those goats in the pen! It’s getting late and I’ve got stuff to do.” he protested.

”I’ll be back when I’m through. Take care of the baby. I don’t care about the goats. Come on girls.” She put an arm around Lynn. We’ll figure this out in the morning.”

Navigating Life with Seniors: Lessons Learned

image

imageI wonder if I do a lot of “old person” stuff? It’s probably one of those things your kid would have to tell you. Let me explain. After we went to the grocery store, I took Mother to Gateway to pick up her car. She took her small bag of groceries with her and went in to pay and get her keys while I waited in the lot off to the side, To be sure everything worked out okay. I knew I should have gone in with her. A few minutes later, she pulled behind me, blocking me and two other drivers. As the other drivers honked, Mother left her car in the drive and came over to talk to me.

“They just had to fix the front brakes. The back ones were fine! It only cost one hundred twenty-one dollars.” She was beaming.

“That’s great, but you need to move your car. People are honking!”

“Well they’re just gonna have to wait. I have to get my groceries.” She replied, huffily.

“Mother, you already put your bag in the car.”

“Oh, I forgot. Anyway, I had to tell you everything was okay.”

Annoyed at my nerve, she got in her car, pulled out and cut it too short, running over the curb as she pulled out.

About fifteen minutes after I got home, I got a call, “Could you see if I left my phone in your car. I can’t find it, anywhere.”

She had.

Navigating Life with Seniors: Lessons Learned

image

imageI wonder if I do a lot of “old person” stuff? It’s probably one of those things your kid would have to tell you. Let me explain. After we went to the grocery store, I took Mother to Gateway to pick up her car. She took her small bag of groceries with her and went in to pay and get her keys while I waited in the lot off to the side, To be sure everything worked out okay. I knew I should have gone in with her. A few minutes later, she pulled behind me, blocking me and two other drivers. As the other drivers honked, Mother left her car in the drive and came over to talk to me.

“They just had to fix the front brakes. The back ones were fine! It only cost one hundred twenty-one dollars.” She was beaming.

“That’s great, but you need to move your car. People are honking!”

“Well they’re just gonna have to wait. I have to get my groceries.” She replied, huffily.

“Mother, you already put your bag in the car.”

“Oh, I forgot. Anyway, I had to tell you everything was okay.”

Annoyed at my nerve, she got in her car, pulled out and cut it too short, running over the curb as she pulled out.

About fifteen minutes after I got home, I got a call, “Could you see if I left my phone in your car. I can’t find it, anywhere.”

She had.

You Poor Baby (Part 2)

vintage baby

part 1      https://atomic-temporary-73629786.wpcomstaging.com/2015/07/11/you-poor-baby/

Furious at finding her washing machine packed to the rim with freshly laundered diapers mixed with freshly- laundered gobs of poop, Mother roused Carol from where she snored on the sofa, oblivious to her miserable, bawling baby. “Carol, come here. Let me show you how to use this washer! You can’t just throw filthy diapers in it without rinsing this stuff out.” Mother got a tub, made Carol scoop the poopy diapers out and clean the washer, then sent Carol out to rinse the dirty diapers under the faucet before bringing them back to the washer. “Be sure you dump that dirty water from the tub behind the chicken house, not in the back yard. You may as well get the rest of this mess soaking.” She pointed to the pile of poopy diapers that had not yet had a ride in her abused washer. Carol looked furiously at Phyllis and me as she stormed off to do this demeaning task, clearly much better delegated to underlings like us.

We did have to tend her poor, miserable baby while she slaved over the diaper rinsing, but that was better than rinsing out poopy diapers ranging from rock-hard lumps to runny diarrhea, depending on the vintage. The stench was horrendous, as evidenced by Carol’s retching. I have no doubt Carol was sick when she came back in. She took to her bed(our sofa) to recover. Clearly accustomed to help with her baby, she was reluctant to leave her repose to wash bottles and prepare formula, preferring to call out for one of of kids to “bring me a bottle!” when he cried. The first time, Mother let the hungry little guy have a bottle, despite the fact it was an expensive, hypoallergenic formula prescribed for her own tiny baby. She quickly pointed the case of milk she’d bought for Carol’s baby, the kind Carol requested. “Oh this will be fine,” Carol said. “He likes it!”

“Carol, you need to fix your own bottles! I bought you what you asked for. This stuff is forty cents a can!” Mother explained.

Carol was clearly offended. She dawdled a bit after he finished his bottle, put him down, and shut herself in the bathroom for a good crying session. Eventually, she came out and made a collect call to her mother, insisting she come, NOW! Mama couldn’t come, NOW! More crying on the phone. We were stuck together till the weekend. Carol had no problems leaving his bottles lying about to sour after baby was satisfied. Should he cry out when a sour bottle sat handy, she had no qualms about trying to get him to take it.

The next three days lasted an eternity. At my parent’s insistence, Carol did end up giving her baby good care while they waited for Mama, but she turned him over to Mama as soon as she arrived. His bottom had healed, he’d plumped up, and even played a bit with good care. Poor little guy didn’t get much of a pass. He was soon back home to be joined by a brother and sister in rapid succession.

Alas, Carol’s marriage fell apart, but before long she found another man and launched into her addiction to having babies she had no interest or ability to care for, eventually delivering eleven sad children. At a family reunion once, I heard someone ask how long she was going to keep having babies. She replied, “As long as God wants me to.” It was heartbreaking to see her children suffer from her neglect and ignorance.