Lucky Miss
Gardening
Butterflies, Birds, and Berries: A Garden Guide
A strawberry patch sits in the middle of my flowerbed. I leave the luscious strawberries for the critters. I love it when this little guy comes to call.
I have one flowerbed with dewberries that get the full attention of birds and squirrels. They also love my mulberry tree.
Try this
Digging holes is so much easier since I got this nice augur that attaches to my power drill. I can put out a flat of flowers in no time. It costs about $20.
Envy Attack
I am usually not much troubled by envy. Still, I was savagely attacked a few days ago in the checkout line at the garden center. I was behind a mother/daughter duo with three large wheeled carts of plants, everything from cyclamens to ornamental trees. Don’t get me wrong. I buy my fair share of plants but nothing like this bonanza. I hadn’t been incapacitated by envy at this point. I was busy rubbernecking, admiring their choices and wondering how long it would take to get this garden in the ground.
As I eavesdropped in the checkout line, envy nearly dropped me to my knees. The daughter of the pair, a woman in her thirties told the cashier, “It’s my birthday. Mom’s buying me all this for my birthday.”
Then Mom chimed in. “Now all we have to do is get out in your yard!”
”That’ll be $967.” replied the checker. “What a wonderful gift!”
At that moment, I wished that young woman had a feather up her butt and I had her plants so we’d both be tickled to death!
Mother’s Garden
Mother is ninety-seven and recently moved to an independent living facility. She has happily transformed her patio into a garden, already. She is at the garden center grabbing plants every time she can finagle a ride. My sister ,Connie and her husband, Tim, built this beautiful garden box and filled it with luscious flowers. They are currently her favorite family.
She is nurturing these beauties along a trellis adjacent to her patio. Mother had a lush garden at her little cottage before she moved here but I do believe she’s gone over the edge now.
Sadly for my budget, I inherited her obsession. I am on my way out now to put out hydrangeas and petunias.
Garden
I think a man thought I was trying to pick him up in the garden center yesterday. Like me, he was perusing the bargain plants. When I noticed he’d snagged a magnificent hydrangea, my plant lust kicked in. I fear he thought I was after him, rather than his plants. I merely coveted his hydrangea,not his person. He fended me off by hastily telling me his wife had just loaded his buggy up. Scorned, I assured him I was only after his hydrangea, not him. Fortunately, I found one of my own, so his was safe. It was the fifth one , I’ve been lucky enough to get this spring, hydrangea, not man, I mean.
I have a voracious appetite for plants but must restrict my expenditures in the interest of staying married, I make frequent visits to the markdown area where my favorite garden center typically marks plants down fifty percent, an extreme temptation. This frequently includes overstocks., a true blessing. My landscape plans are directly influenced by these bonanzas. For example, I had envisioned a purple and fuchsia scenario for one front bed but realized I could be equally happy with the numerous showy pots of purple and gold Wave Petunias I greedily grabbed.
I must confess. Plants lead me into deception. I do my best to keep them out of Bud’s direct view till I get them in the ground. I unload them in the front yard so as not to assault his sensibilities as he pulls into the garage. I’m not always in the mood to discuss the landscaping imposes on our budget. I understand it’s perfectly obvious that I’ve bought plants once they’re in the ground but I still practice this pointless subterfuge.
Gardening also interferes with my writing. I can’t wait to get out and get my hands in the dirt in the morning. My mind totally clears as I dig, plant, and ponder where each plant will flourish. Should a plant look unhappy, I look till I find it a happier niche.
For me, gardening is the purest joy.
Wave Petunia
Gardening
What are your favorite physical activities or exercises?
Gardening must be incredible exercise. After I spend some time working in my yard, every muscle in my body chimes in, making sure I know its complaints. While I’m attacking a problem, I forget I’m not sixteen. The next day, musclesruth, whine, proclaiming the awful truth. “You are killing us! You’re not a kid anymore! Go sit down!”
Crows in the Corn
We tangled with the crows last summer and came way out on the losing end. They patiently watched us plow, measure, make rows, and plant, showing special interest in the seeds we’d chosen. From their keen attention, we could see they were partial to sweet corn. They practically drooled when it came out of the bag. They watched patiently as we planted, then staked out our scarecrow complete with small twirling pie pans. Slightly interested, they eyed him from a distance, as though they might not have seen his identical twin earlier that day. By the time we got out to check our garden the next morning, all the corn was scratched up and the pie tins torn up. They’d been a little too big for the crows to fly off with. Bud cursed.
Back to the seed store, we got a large plastic owl and inflatable snakes for the garden. Instead of planting that day, Bud risked his life getting the owl on a high branch not too far from the garden to terrorize the crows. They battled over who would roost on it that evening. More cursing and posturing.
The next morning we replanted and scattered the inflatable snakes about the garden. The crows were impressed, circling the garden, giving the corn time to sprout. As it got taller, they showed greater attention, knowing the tiny tender kernel at the end of the shoot still remained. When Bud saw the crows braving the snakes to snatch shoots of corn, he’d had enough. Infuriated, he went for his shotgun. They disappeared the instant he walked out of the house with it. Trying to get the upper hand, went back in and brought it out in two pieces. They didn’t react to the disassembled shotgun, peacefully plucking corn shoots. He stood behind a tree to put it back together. The instant he snapped it together, they fled, obviously familiar that old trick. Determined not to be defeated, he went for his bow and arrows. What a waste of time!
These crows were obviously smarter than we were. We abandoned our efforts to save the few pitiful shoots left as the smart alecks among them even took to flying off with our useless rubber snakes.
I planted more corn in starter trays on the patio, determined to have corn. Once it got a few inches tall, we transplanted it to the garden. It thrived, growing tall and producing beautifully. We were looking forward to a bumper crop when a fox and her kits got into the garden and ate most of it in one night! They also loved our canteloupe. It’s good to be at one with nature!
Flower Felons
One fine day, Mother and I ran by our favorite garden center while we were running errands, as any right-thinking person would. I know better than to take Mother with me around flowers. She has no flower morals and always leads me into sin. I was strolling about, measuring the beauty of the flowers against the high cost of divorce, should I purchase any more this month, a miracle occurred. One of the vendors walked up to me and asked if I liked flowers. She cut me off before I really got started. She lived at ——Jones Street. She’d collected so many flowers she couldn’t take care of them. They were all in her yard and on her porch. Go by and get all I wanted.
“Is this a joke? What if your neighbors see me loading flowers and call the police?”
“Oh, that’s no problem. Just take a picture of me and show it to them if they say anything, or tell them to call me. It will be fine.” That sounded reasonable. I snapped her picture making the peace sign and sped to _______Jones Street. The neighbors were on their doorstep watching us, probably wondering why they hadn’t been offered anything. I showed them the lady’s picture, telling them she said we could have her plants. They looked suspicious, but didn’t yell at us. The plants were gorgeous and the pots artistic. She’d even started a couple of nice pineapples that were nearly ripe! Why would anyone go to all that trouble only to give them away? I was in heaven. I had many of them loaded when I noticed we were on ______Patterson Street. Hurriedly, we put the lovely plants back, explained to the incredulous neighbors, and took off.
We never did find ________Jones Street, but at least we haven’t been arrested, yet. I’ll bet that woman in the garden center is still laughing.
Nutsrok 