Little White Lie

This story can never get back to Mother.

Quite a few years ago, Mother went to a cute bobbed hairstyle. It cost her thirty-five dollars.

Kathleen Swain

Everything was fine until she slipped up on setting up an appointment with the hairdresser. She asked if I could trim it. Foolishly, I accommodated her. While it didn’t look good, it probably wasn’t the worst home haircut anybody ever got. I’d inflicted that one on my sister many years earlier. Mother appreciates a bargain and the price was perfect. I was trapped. She never made another appointment.

As time went on, I got less enthusiastic about doing the job. I made a deal with my hairdresser. If she’d cut Mother’s hair and charge ten dollars, I’d pick up the rest of the tab. Mother loves Diane and looks forward to their appointments. That’s how its been ever since.

Mother recently moved to an independent Living facility which she loves. The good news is, they have a hairdresser on site. The bad news is. She charges forty-five dollars. That relationship never got off the ground. Mother couldn’t wait to get back to Diane and her ten dollar appointments.

Here she is, getting her $10 bob.

Now, Nobody Loves Me

My little niece Jenny got some quality time with scissors. She walked into the room holding a long lock of freshly shorn hair. She’d sheared her waist-length hair into a jagged mess right above the ear. Shocked, my sister burst into tears and fled the room. Following her mother’s lead, Chelsea, her little sister wailed and ran. Turning to her dad, Jenny wept and said, “I cut my hair and now, now nobody loves me!”

Haircut Jokes

Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut.

After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley’s head.

“How you like it?” asked the barber.

“Real fine,” said the redneck. “But how about making it a little longer in the back?”

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Bad Hair Jokes One-Liners


I work at a barber shop and I recently started giving free eyebrow trims to anyone that got a haircut.

Everyone looks surprised.

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I got a haircut today, but I’m never going back to that barber.

I asked for one hair cut, and he cut all of them.

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My wife gave me a haircut on the balcony outside today.

Cleanup was a breeze.

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Haircuts are great because I did none of the work, but get all the credit.

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Since quarantine I’ve not had a haircut. Hell, I’ve not even stepped on the scales.

So today I decided to weigh myself for the first time in months.

Who knew hair weighed so much?!

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Thought I saw my first super hero today. He was sprinting down the street wearing a cape.

Turns out, he hadn’t paid for his haircut.

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I just paid for a full haircut, conditioner, neck and scalp massage, face shave and then mustache trim and wax.

It’s my wife’s birthday and I thought, “What the hell! I’ll treat her.”

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