I’m sitting in the shade at the grocery store waiting for Mother to finish her shopping. I take her once a week. I finish mine in about 30 minutes, then pick her up at the door when she calls me. It’s 93 right now. As a kid, I remember it being far hotter ,when we waited in the car. Mother let us go in grocery store with her, once we were sufficiently threatened. We always got a box of animal crackers to munch while she shopped, presumably to keep our hands and mouths occupied.

In the parking lot, we smugly passed cars full of hot, fighting kids on our way in. Sometimes, we had to sit in the car if she had kid-free business like banking or bill-paying. What I thought was two hours, Mother called fifteen minutes. The truth lay somewhere between, but I’ll never admit it to her. We started fighting the minute she was out of earshot and lapsed into virtuous behavior as soon as we saw her coming back. Initially, there were threats of “I’m telling,” but usually by the time Mother got back, we’d all have passed enough licks no one could risk tattling. Mother always accused us of acting like heathens. I wonder if heathen mothers accused their children of acting like Christians?

For those of you who weren’t raised in Sunday School, Heathen is a dated term used primarily of someone who is not religious, or whose religion is not Judaism, Islam, or especially Christianity. In our case, it was a disparaging term used disapprovingly to describe one (me)who is not cultured; this use is also dated. Forgive me. I am sure this is not politically correct, but I was lead to believe I frequently acted “like a heathen.” I feel sure most heathen were much more well- behaved.

For the love of God, don’t leave your kid in the car!