There were unspoken and implied rules. My personal favorites were the implied ones, open to interpretation. These were based on old adages such as, “If everyone else jumped off the top of the house would you?” The obvious answer was, I’d probably have been the first to jump, then swear I was pushed when some other dumb butt jumped and got hurt, implicating me as the ringleader. Continue reading
humor
Clothilde
Repost: I was almost named Clothilde. (KLO-TEEL. Wouldn’t have taken mean kids long to rename Kotex) So were my three sisters. No matter what heinous deed my mother may have committed or may commit in the future, I forgive her because she stuck up for me when it really mattered. Daddy was raised in North Louisiana during the deepest of The Great Depression, one of seven children always on the brink of starvation. His father either rented a farm or sharecropped when he couldn’t manage rent. Daddy didn’t speak often about his family’s situation, but occasionally slipped up and revealed the difficulties they suffered. They were a troubled family, economically and socially and moved frequently. Continue reading
Little Farm Boy Warrior
We had a lovely little backyard garden just before my son turned three. Everyday we’d tend it, eagerly checking the progress of the flowers, tomatoes, radishes, cucumbers, and one lone watermelon that had somehow volunteered. We weeded, watered, and discussed every day when our watermelon would be ready. John was Continue reading
Bobo and the Bloomers(Part 5)
During The Great Depression, people had to wear it out, use it up, or make do. Inner tubes were a valuable commodity, used for everything from cutting into strips to use as elastic for clothes, making overshoes, to wrapping pipes. They were the duct tape of the era. One of the favorite stories about Cousin Bobo demonstrated his excellent taste and Continue reading
Making an Ass of Myself at a Funeral
My brother Billy and I decided to go to Mr. Charley’s funeral together. I should have known better. He always gets me in trouble. We grew up playing with Mr. Charley’s kids, in and out of their house a lot. He was a good guy. I certainly didn’t decide to go to his funeral just to make a total ass of myself. That was Billy’s doing. Continue reading
Eat Your Mushrooms
Two old guys were sitting around talking when they got to the the subject of marriage.
“Have you ever been married?”
“Yeah, I was married three times, but it ended in tragedy every time.”
Continue reading
F-Word
My little niece came home from kindergarten with shocking news. “Ms. Wilson lets Betsy say the F-word!”
My sister burst out, ” I know Ms. Wilson. She’d never let Betsy talk like that.”
“Jenny insisted. “Yes she did, Betsy said their cat was fat and Betsy didn’t” get in trouble.
Goats in Love
Goats are always in love. They are also great fence breakers. This is a bad combination. I don’t know why Daddy kept goats. In theory, they’d eat brush and he’d have one to barbecue on Memorial Day, Fourth of July, or Labor Day. The fact is, goats are not stupid. They are born knowing flowers, grass, garden vegetables, and almost Continue reading
Half Way Decent
This treasure, her second-grader’s work from fifty years ago hangs in a place of honor over my aunt’s kitchen table. I will transcribe: My Mother is as sweet as can be. She kisses me befour I go to school. She looks half way decent.
Nutsrok 