My parents had very strict standards of appropriate courtship behavior. Some were objective: No dating till sixteen. No expensive or personal gifts. No gifts of clothing. Tasteful gifts included inexpensive perfume, flowers, and books. Some were Continue reading
humor
Just One Orange Cap Too Far
Billy was Daddy’s shadow, making every step he made. One evening, they were sitting with several of the guys on logs around a fire telling tales. Billy had worked hard to keep up with his new orange hunting cap all day, only too aware of how lucky he was to Continue reading
Twofer
Doctor: You’ve got to lose some weight! You’re way too fat!
Patient: I want a second opinion!
Doctor: You’re ugly, too!
Can’t Afford Urine! (From Kathleen’s memoirs of the 1930s)
repost:
After we finished our shopping, we walked across the square to the corner drugstore for ice-cream to pass the time for Mama to go see the doctor. We slid into a booth where I had to make a huge decision: chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla. I worried over it, quizzing Mama and Annie which was best, finally choosing vanilla, just like I always did. Annie let Continue reading
More Baloney,Please!
My temperature was 103. Bud had been working out of town for three days when he came home to find the kids sticking baloney and cheese on the wall. They’d stick it it up to make patterns, lick it when it turned loose and fell to the floor, then reuse it. They were happily occupied, letting me lie on the sofa.
“What the hell is going on? Don’t you see these kids plastering the walls with baloney and cheese?”
“Yeah. I’m so glad you’re home. I was afraid it was about to quit sticking before you got here!”
First Things First
The first day of school, Miss Angie passed out great big yellow pencils just the size of my nostrils. I stuck the blunt end of mine up my nose. It felt really smooth and slick. It smelled just like Mother’s iron skillet. Miss Angie got all mad, picked it out of my hand, and threw it in the gray metal trash can with a big thunk. “Don’t stick pencils up your nose. That’s nasty.” The pencil didn’t look that nasty to me or I wouldn’t have stuck it up my nose.
Y’all Got a Snake in Y’all’s Tree!
It’s not everyday one hears a dynamic statement like this! Melvin was the ex-husband of Mother’s old friend, Maggie. A good man, he’d gone just a bit “off the rails” and Maggie, had reluctantly left him as a result of his increasingly fantical religious leanings. Mother and Daddy had long been faithful congregants of their church, only missing services if unable Continue reading
Over the Rails
My little one was monkeying over the rails of her crib long before she was a year old. Given the freedom to roam, there were so many better things to do than stay in that little toddler bed and sleep. I’d lie down with her, wrap her in “Pinky” read books and tell story after story till her bright little eyes stayed Continue reading
Epiphany on Butt-Kicking!
Many years ago my precious little three-year-old came bursting in from pre-school with big news. “Can you believe a three-year-old girl can beat up a four-year-old boy!”
“Oh, no! What happened?”
“Angie beat up Jeremy, and when I found out she could, I did!”
Nutsrok 