The oldsters were getting frisky when Mary said, “I may be 72, but I have the body of a 40 year old.”
John replied, “Well, you better give it back. You’re gettin’ it all wrinkled!”
joke
Fido Buys the Farm
Joe found his dog lying out behind his car, not moving. He grabbed Fido up and ran him in to the vet.
Vet: “”I’m sorry. Your dog is dead. That’ll be fifty bucks.” Continue reading
Three of the Deadlies
Tragically, three pastors and their wives were killed in a crash on the way home from a conference. They found themselves standing before Saint Peter. Saint Peter addressed the first pastor as he looked in his book. Continue reading
Great Idea! Joke
Her: We’ve been going together seven years. Let’s get married.
Him: Great idea. Who’d have us?
Eat Your Mushrooms
Two old guys were sitting around talking when they got to the the subject of marriage.
“Have you ever been married?”
“Yeah, I was married three times, but it ended in tragedy every time.”
Continue reading
A Rose By Any Other Name
The new schoolmaster was waving around his hickory stick and laying down the law the first day of school. He pointed his hickory stick. “Boy, what is you name?”
“My name is Zeke.”
The teacher slammed hickory stick down on the boys desk, scaring the life out of him. “No, it’s not! As long as you’re in this classroom, your name is Ezekial and don’t you forget it.”
That Makes Me So Mad/Joke
Mary called John at work. “I’ve been trying and trying to get this danged lawnmower started, but it just won’t start.”
John: “Did you choke it?”
Mary: “No, but I wanted to!”
Joke. Time is Relative
John was walking down the road when he passed a farm where Joe was holding a hog up to eat acorns out of an oak tree. “Hey, Joe! What in the world are you doing?”
“I’m a feedin’ this here hog! What does it look like?”
“Don’t that take a lotta time?”
“”Aw heck! What’s time to a hog?”
Joke. Joe, Are You Okay?
Two good ole fellers was walking down the road when they come across an arm . Mike ran up and looked it over.
“Hey, this here looks like Joe’s arm.” John joined him, giving it a look. “Yep,it’s Joe’s arm, all right. Look at that watch.”
Walkng a bit further, they found a leg. Mike noted. “Looky here. I b’lieve this here’s Joe’s leg.”
Yeah, it is. This is Joe’s boot.” agreed John.
Continuing on, they come up on a torso in a jacket. The boys checked it over. “Now I know this is here is Joe’s jacket. Look at the name over the pocket. Ain’t nobody else got a jacket with Joe’s name on it.
About a half a mile on, Mike saw a head on the side of the road. He took off running. “I b’lieve that’s Joe. Picking up the head, he shook it. “Joe, Joe! Are you okay?”
Nutsrok 