marriage

Hard Time Marrying Part 30

Mary Elizabeth Perkins and Roscoe Gordon Holdaway Wedding Pictu

My grandparent’s wedding picture, though this is not their story.  I am posting an extra story today as an early Christmas gift.

The situation Joe had most dreaded had come to a head at Anya’s most vulnerable time.  Making a run for it with two little ones and a newborn would be futile.  He’d just have to face this situation straight on.  No one was going to hurt Anya and rip his family apart after they’d struggled so hard to be together.  

Seeing Anya’s joy in Rose Anya was bittersweet, knowing what he’d have to tell her, but he could let her have this day unmarred.  Emma had left a pot of soup bubbling on the hearth.  Joe decided to do nothing but necessary chores and store up the joy of this day.  When Anya wasn’t holding Rose Anya, he was.  The little ones played happily in the warmth of family.

Joe didn’t allow himself to think of the preacher and sheriff’s impending visit.  The sheriff didn’t wait a few days, just showed up with the preacher the next morning, probably to avoid the problem of having to pursue them.  Joe greeted them gruffly.  The sheriff was a definite threat, and Joe had never known kindness, only judgment from church folk.

“I know why you are here.  I ain’t gonna let you make trouble for us.  My wife just gave birth to an early baby and she ain’t strong

“We need to talk to her.  I just need the preacher to say if she’s the same woman you married.  We won’t take much of your time.” The sheriff stood his ground. 

 The preacher rocked back and forth with his hands clasped behind him.  “Lord knows we hate to bother you, but the sheriff says this has got to be done.  I’d be obliged if we could get it over with so I can get back to town.  I got a couple that wants marrying.”

Grudgingly, Joe showed them in.  “Anya, this here is the sheriff and the preacher what married us.  I know you remember him, even though you was so sick.”

Anya’s eyes widened in fear, taking the situation in.  “Why shore I do.  A woman don’t fergit her weddin’.  Welcome preacher.  I cain’t git up cause I’m nursing my baby.  She’s a mite early an’ I don’t want to jostle her.  She ain’t strong an’ needs to nurse.”

“Why shore, Ma’am.  Good to see you again.  That baby is a tiny little thing.  I wouldn’t want to unsettle her. It’s good to see things working out so good for you.”  Anya took heart from his kind words.

The sheriff took his cue.  “Ma’am, I’m sorry I had to bother you, but I needed to git the preacher to identify you.  I am glad ever’thing worked out so good.  Joe, you take care of this fine woman an’ that purty, little baby.  I got to be going.”

“Sheriff, if you can wait a few minutes, this little one needs christening.  It’s a long trip to town an’ I can git the job done as long as I’m here,” the preacher addressed the sheriff.

“Why shore.  I’ll just wait outside.” He left them alone.  

The preacher faced Joe and Anya.  “I don’t know how I done it, but I realized after y’all left that night I never gave you a certificate.   I’d like to marry you again an’ make sure ever’thing’s right before I christen that baby if that’s alright with you. I disremember the date, but you can help with that. Then we can git that little feller taken care of.  The Lord wouldn’t want me to leave a job half-done.”

A giant load was lifted off Joe’s heart.

Finish the Story

I just love doing these. It delights me to see how other writers think. I hope you will want to finish this story.

Jennifer and Jerome had been married for five years and not been able to conceive. Because they were Jewish, as a part of their genetic workup before starting infertility treatment, they learned that Jennifer carried a recessive gene for Tays-Sachs Disease, a fatal degenerative of the brain and spinal cord. Jerome did not carry the gene. They were relieved to learn their children would not be affected.

During a rough patch in their marriage, Jennifer had a brief affair with a coworker in her Baton Rouge office. She ended the affair, confided her indiscretion to Jerome, and they decided to reconcile and go ahead with infertility treatment. Following a negative pregnancy test, Jennifer had invitro fertilization. In days, Jennifer’s pregnancy was confirmed. Upon ultrasound, the doctor was concerned her fetus was larger expected. Follow up lab confirmed the fetus was positive for Tay-Sachs Disease, Her pregnancy had resulted from her affair. Finish the story.

Joke of the Day

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she’s a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot.” Continue reading →

Marriage Joke

A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office. The wife says “I need a tooth pulled. No gas or Novocain — I’m in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.” “You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist. “Now, shows me which tooth it is.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear.

On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. “Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?” Tom responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness — and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you’d stayed  single.

 

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback. After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.  The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity, in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off; it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little, and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons’ vehicles left.  At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.  The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyser test.  To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all! Dumbfounded, the officer said, “I’ll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken.” “I doubt it,” said the truly proud Redneck. “Tonight I’m the designated decoy

Bumps in the Road Part 16

Update: Kathleen and Bill have just arrived at her parents to inform them of their marriage.

Kathleen felt a sudden pang of guilt about marrying without Mama’s and Daddy’s blessing but Mama had broken up an earlier engagement. She hadn’t wanted to risk that again.

“I know this is sudden but we didn’t want to wait or put you to any trouble “ she babbled. Mama had a stern look, pursing her lips. Was she about to denounce her? Daddy stepped forward and extended his hand to Bill. “Welcome to the family. We’ll be counting on you to take good care of our little girl.”

“Thank you, Mr. Holdaway. I sure will. I have a good job making good money. She won’t go without, I promise you. I know I’m lucky to get a girl like her,” replied Bill.

“I’m glad to hear it,” Daddy replied. “She has always been such a good girl.”

Mama thawed a little. “Can you stay for supper? I’ve got a fryer shut up to kill.”

Kathleen looked to Bill to answer. “ No, but I wouldn’t say no to a cup of coffee,” he answered.

Kathleen was relieved. She hadn’t looked forward to a long evening with them after announcing their uncomfortable news. Bill seemed to have read her mind.

“Come on in,” Mama directed. I’ve got a cake ready to frost. Roscoe, will you bring me in a bucket of water?” Kathleen followed Mama in the house while Bill went to the well with Roscoe. Bill looked so tall and healthy compared to Daddy’s frail frame.

Dreading questions, Kathleen volunteered, “Mama, we didn’t have to get married. We just didn’t see any point in waiting.”

“I wouldn’t have asked you that,” Mama returned, still pursing her lips. “I raised you better than that. How long have you known him?”

“Almost a month,” Kathleen answered, thinking it sounded better than three weeks.

“That long?” Mama scoffed. “Well, good luck. I hope you haven’t made a mistake. Here they are with the water, “ signaling the awkward conversation was done. She filled the kettle, put it on the stove, and poked up the fire. “Now, let me get this cake frosted. That’s a beautiful dress, Kathleen. Is it new?”

“Yes, Bill bought it for me this morning. It cost sixteen dollars!” She bragged, proudly, then suddenly felt ashamed, fearing she’d hurt Mama’s feelings, Mama who’d painstakingly sewn almost every dress Kathleen ever owned.

Happily, Mama’s expression softened. “Bill, I’m proud you can give Katleen nice things. We always wanted the best for her.”

The atmosphere warmed up after that.

Kathleen Carries On or Breathing In and Out

Mother was widowed at fifty-four. A couple of widowers in their seventies called showing interest. One was an elderly Pentecostal Preacher who showed up with a three-page poem he’d penciled on pages torn from a three ring spiral binder. The kicker was, he’d admired the way she’d waited on Daddy hand and foot. He knew she’d make him a good wife, too. Hard to believe she’d turn down such an attractive offer.

After a time, Mother moved into town and developed a tepid friendship with a neighbor man, Maury. Unfortunately, Maury’s health failed, but not before Mother’s interest in him. She realized then she didn’t want another man friend. When another neighbor man, John, showed interest in Mother, intending to discourage John, she explained she had a friend, Maury, who wasn’t doing too well. Some weeks later, the Maury died. John stopped by a time or two to see how her friend was doing. Evasively, Mother told him. “He’s about the same.” I suppose he’s still “about the same.”

Afterwards, when asked if she’d ever thought of marrying again, Mother always replied,”No, the only thing wrong with men is they keep breathing in and breathing out.”

If you enjoyed Kathleen’s stories, check out her memoir on Amazon. Authored by Linda Bethea Illustrated by Kathleen Swain

Bumps in the Road Part 15

Bill was in a ebullient mood as he maneuvered Bobo’s borrowed truck off the blacktop onto the dusty red dirt road into Cuthand, Texas. His dainty bride squealed irresistibly as he centered a deep pothole, thrilling him to see her little girl reaction.

“Bill, slow down! You’re going to wreck us!” she implored.

“Hang on! I’ve driven in lots worse places than this!” He knew what he was doing.

“Bill! This dust is ruining my new dress!”Dust was fogging in the open truck windows. He looked down to see dust settling on the cuffs of the white shirt he’d just opened from the laundry.

“Oh Lordy! We can’t go to your your folks looking like this.” Enjoying her reaction, he’d not noticed the effect of the dust on their clothes. He pulled over. She took off her headscarf and they dusted each other and the truck seat. Satisfied with their appearance, he took her in his arms to kiss her.

She pushed him away. “Not here, Bill. She turned away as a car passed. “I don’t want people talking about me. I’m not that kind of girl!”

“You’re not any kind of girl,” he laughed. “You’re my wife and I want everybody to know it.”

“You’re so bad.” she giggled as her smacked her bottom, as she climbed in the truck. She felt delightfully wicked.

“You better get used to it.” he assured her.

Kathleen had butterflies in her stomach as they neared her parents home. She and Bill had been so caught up in each other they had barely touched on their families. She only knew Bill’s mother was a widow living in Louisiana with a couple of girl left at home. Her family was poor. She assumed from his looks and demeanor, she was marrying up. His family might look down on her.

Though she’d only been gone a month, she saw her home through Bill’s eyes as they pulled in. It was shabbier than she remembered. Her anxiety rose at surprising them with a husband unannounced. Mama was in the front yard working in her flowers. The hollyhocks towered over the paling fence. Rows of proud zinnias claimed dominance over the front yard. Bees buzzed around the bee balm and the sweet peas climbing the porch rails. The four o’clocks were just starting to open. Tall sunflowers nodded in the backyard. The scent of her childhood was heavenly. Daddy sat in a straight chair on the front porch, smoking and reading his Ranch Romance Magazine, just like he did every Saturday afternoon. Her throat drew tight with emotion.

Bill took her arm as he opened the gate. Mama dropped her shovel as Daddy walked down the steps to greet them. “Mama, Daddy, I want you to meet my husband, Bill Swain.” She flushed with sudden emotion, hoping they wouldn’t think she’d had to get married.

Bumps in the Road Part 14

Bill was his old charming self that evening. They had dinner and saw a movie. Bobo and Lucy were both naturally funny and kept Kathleen in stitches. Bill had a few drinks and just got more gallant and attentive as the evening went on. Kathleen even loosened up and had a couple. She’d never had so much fun in her life. It was crazy for her to be so prudish about a little drinking. She found, she could even dance! They were out till after two. Bill had to shush her to stifle her giggles as they tiptoed into the house. It was clear he’d had more experience tiptoeing than she had.

It was after ten when Bill awoke He’d already dressed. “Sweetheart, you can’t sleep all day! We got to go get you all fancied up and go see your folks!”

“Oh my gosh! I forgot all about that! I’ve never slept this late in my life! Let me get a quick bath and dress.” She hurried through her bath and makeup and was proud to find a yellow print dress Bill hadn’t seen yet. Mama was an accomplished seamstress and prided herself that her kids were the best-dressed in the neighborhood. In fact, the only luxury she and Roscoe had ever bought was a Singer sewing machine which she kept humming. All Kathleen had to do was point out a dress she liked in a store window or catalog and Mama would whip one up like it.

“Don’t you look a sight!” Bill said as she twirled for him. “I swear you’re as pretty as a picture. I ain’t never seen nothing like you!”

They stopped for a quick breakfast at the cafe. Kathleen was so proud to show Bill off to the giggling girls she’d worked with. Their admiring envy felt wonderful. She was the luckiest girl in the world to be on his arm.

Kathleen found a darling navy dress with white lace cuff and collar in the first shop they visited on the Clarksville square. It was nice but too expensive at $8.98. Bill must have thought so ,too, since he steered her out of there, saying he wanted to look a little more.

“Let’s look in here.” he said, pointing out a turquoise dress with sequins on the bodice.

“Bill,” she whispered. “We can’t go in there. That’s the most expensive shop in town.”

“I like that dress,” he said. “You need to try it.”

She hardly knew what to think when she saw the tag, $16.99. She’d never even tried on such a thing! It felt heavenly as it slipped over her shoulders. “It’s gorgeous, Bill, but way too expensive.” She whispered. “Let’s go back and get the navy one.”

“Miss?” he called to the saleslady. “We’ll take this one. Can you take the tags off so she can wear it now? It’s a special day!”

“I certainly can.” she replied, following Kathleen into the dressing room. She quickly wrapped the dress Kathleen had worn in and rang up the sale.

Bumps in the Road Part 13

Kathleen was dressed to the nines when Bill got in the next evening. “Let’s go out to supper!” I got paid! His mood was contagious. Kathleen made sure no one else wanted the bathroom, cleaned the tub, and drew him a bath. She laid out his washcloth and soap on the edge of the tub and put his towel and underwear on the toilet seat. Pleased with herself, she told Bill his bath was ready. He was delighted. “Nobody’s ever done for me this way before. You are quite a girl.” Kathleen was so happy to have been a “good wife.”

After he bathed and dressed they walked downstairs together to pay the rent. He turned on the charm for Mrs. Martin “I heard you got worried about the rent. You know I ain’t gonna forget about my best girl.” he teased.

“Oh now! You know better than that. I knew payday was today and you’d catch me up.” The rent went straight in her apron pocket! She cut a look at Kathleen.

Never one for a confrontation, though Kathleen was miffed, she let it go. Not twelve hours ago, the old bat was dunning her. Laughing, Bill hurried her out. An older black truck pulled up as they stepped off the porch. It was Bill’s friend, Bobo and his girlfriend, Lucy. Bobo was as friendly as a speckled pup. Lucy admired Kathleen’s yellow dress.”Ooh! I love your yellow dress! I got one exactly like it ‘cept it’s blue.” Bobo and Lucy were a comical looking couple like Jack Sprat and his wife.

“Bill, maybe you ought’a drive. I already had a couple of nips.” I don’t want to git in no trouble. Bill slid under the steering wheel, Kathleen next to him. Bony Bobo took his place on the passenger’s side. The portly Lucy hoisted herself on his lap, squashing him. A prolonged “oof!” escaped him. Kathleen who only weighed about a hundred pounds, felt sympathy for the poor guy.

“Do you want me to sit on your lap?” she questioned him, meaning trade places with chubby Lucy.

“Oh God no! “ he squeaked crushed under his girl. “Lucy here is already way too heavy all by herself!”

Laughing hysterically, their evening got off to a merry start.