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Got a Wicked Sense of Humor? These 125 Dark Humor Jokes Will Be Right Up Your Alley

These (sometimes inappropriate) jokes will be just the thing to crack a smile.

Throughout the last few years, we’ve all realized just how tough life can be. Sometimes, a knock-knock joke doesn’t help lighten the mood and the only resort is to crack a few jokes about things that normally shouldn’t be laughed at like death, disease and depression.

Dark humor jokes should only be told between the closest of friend groups or if you read the room well. These offensive jokes may not be the best way to break the ice with your coworkers or in-laws but your friends or equally twisted members of your family may crack a few smiles. Telling dark humor jokes is a toss-up, but it’s always better to take the risk!

If dark humor jokes make you chuckle, take a peek at this list and compile a list to tell when you and your friends get together. Chances are, they’ll love them just as much as you do.

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105 Bewitching Halloween Pick Up Lines

125 Best Dark Humor Jokes

1. I just got my doctor’s test results and I’m really upset about it. Turns out, I’m not gonna be a doctor.

2. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

3. Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.

4. A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”

5. As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

6. I was digging in our garden and found a chest full of gold coins. I wanted to run straight home to tell my wife about it. Then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.

7. The doctor gave me some cream for my skin rash. He said I was a sight for psoriasis.

8. Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight. Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

9.  I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.

10. Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smileto your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

11. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. “You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”

12. My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

13. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can’t be found.

14. I visited my new friend in his apartment. He told me to make myself at home. So I threw him out. I hate having visitors.

15. When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug. His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.

16. Do you know the phrase “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure”? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

17. My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.” I’m not sure what he’s talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine!

18. Why did the man miss the funeral? He wasn’t a mourning person.

19. It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

20. Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

21. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on outings.

22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

23. My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.

25. A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, “Do you have any last requests?” “Yes,” replies the murderer. “Can you please hold my hand?”

26. I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.

27. The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.

28. You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.

29. Where did Joe go after getting lost on a minefield? Everywhere.

30. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

32. My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

33. What did the Titanic say as it sank? I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

34. Why did Mozart kill all of his chickens? When he asked them who the best composer was, they all replied, “Bach, Bach, Bach.”

35. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

36. I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was 5.

37. They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline.

38. My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

39. I have many jokes about unemployed people—sadly none of them work.

40. The most corrupt CEOs are the ones who run pretzel companies. They’re always so twisted.

41. To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

42. I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.

43. You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

44. I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.

45. What’s the difference between a hipster and a football player? A football player showers.

46. I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.

47. The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.

48. Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school? Because he’s dead. 

49. “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing. Except at a funeral. 

50. It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. But, I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey. 

51. Never break someone’s heart, they only have one of those. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them. 

52. What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage. 

53. When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.” 

54. What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command. 

55. I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?” 

56. Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road. 

57. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny. 

58. What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair. 

59. What’s the difference between jelly and jam? You can’t jelly a clown into the tiny car. 

60. My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 

61. What do you call inexpensive circumcision? A rip-off. 

62. What did the woman with no hands get for Christmas? No idea. She hasn’t opened her present yet. 

63. “I work with animals,” the guy says to his Tinder date.  “That’s so sweet,” she replies. “I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?” “I’m a butcher,” he says. 

64. What’s the difference between a baby and a sweet potato? About 140 calories. 

65. You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

66. Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

67. Why was the leper hockey game canceled? It was because of a face-off in the corner.

68. They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

69. What’s the last thing to go through a fly’s head as it hits the windshield of a car going 80 mph? Its butt.

70. What’s the special dish in a restaurant for cannibals? Heads, shoulders, knees, and toes

71. Why are friends a lot like snow? If you pee on them, they disappear.

72. What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn’t matter what you call him, he won’t come anyway.

73. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.

74. Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.

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75. My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.

76. Happy 60th birthday. At last, you can live undisturbed by life insurance agents!

77. Imagine if you walked into a bar and there was a long line of people waiting to hit you. That’s the punch line.

78. Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.

79. The cemetery is so crowded. People are just dying to get in.

80. I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed “does anyone know CPR?” I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet” and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

81. I know a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

82. I childproofed my house. Somehow they still got in!

83. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating? Because they have no body to go with.

84. Cremation. My final hope for a smokin’ hot body!

85. Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst.

86. People with Covid have no taste!

87. My favorite Disney movie is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I love a hero with a twisted back story.

88. My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.

89. I heard Sony is coming out with a new video game console to help us get through the pandemic. It’s called the Plaguestation 5.

90. I’ve stopped making jokes about Covid to my brother. They flu over his head.

91. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

92. I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.

93. I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog.

94. My daughter asked me how stars die. “Usually an overdose,” I told her.

95. What do you call it when every one of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

96. What did Kermit the Frog say at his puppeteer’s funeral? Not a word.

97. Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

98. The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

99. Since the pandemic started, my husband just stands there sadly looking through the window. I should probably go let him inside.

100. I was shocked when I found out my toaster was not waterproof.

101. Why did the zombies get divorced? Their marriage was dead.

102. What do you call headphones that walk out on their children? Deadbeats.

103. I asked my wife to clean the oven. I probably should have turned it off first.

104. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

105. When I was a kid, I was afraid of the dark. Now that I’m grown up, the electricity bill made me afraid of the light.

106. I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

107. I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read.

108. My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

109. Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to meet so many new faces.

110. My wife is mad that I ruined our anniversary. I’m not sure how, I didn’t even know it was today.

111. I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other.

112. I took my family skydiving. I should have given them parachutes.

113. If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the cremation?

114. My therapist said time heals all wounds, so I stabbed her.

115. My husband told me to do whatever makes him happy. I’m going to miss him.

116. If you think I would joke about Alzheimer’s, forget it.

117. My wife told me she wants another baby. I told her, “That’s a relief, I don’t really like this one anyway.

118. I hope death is a woman. That way it will never look at me twice.

119. I have a joke about trickle down economics, however, 99% of you will never get it.

120. My husband is driving me to drink. I guess it’s better than taking me for a walk.

121. How are marriages like algebra? Because when you look at your X, you can’t help but wonder Y.

122. What is yellow and can’t swim? A dead goldfish.

123. I’ll never forget my dad’s last words, “Erase my search history, son.”

124. Stop elephant poaching. Everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled.

125. I’d like to have kids one day. I don’t think I could stand them any longer than that, though.

Lou and Lynn Part 4 A Magical Rescue: Lou’s Adventure Continues

Lynn’s mother met her at the back door bouncing a crying baby on her shoulder. “I saw the barn doors open, so I knew….well, who is this?”

“Mother, this is Lou. She and her
Grandma were out riding and got caught in the storm. Is her grandma here?”

“No. Nobody’s here but me and the babies. I need you to rock the little baby while I start supper. Please don’t make noise and wake the big baby or we’ll have double trouble.” Lynn took the baby and plunked down in the rocking chair, looking disgusted. Sure enough the baby wailed till Lynn got the bottle in her mouth.

Lou looked down like she was going to cry. Lynn’s mother gave her a hug. “Oh Honey, Don’t cry. Grandma might have walked down the road looking for you. As soon as I get supper on, I’ll rock the baby and y’all can walk up to the neighbors and see if she’s there. Miss Betsy is probably taking real good care of her. She’s a nice lady.”

“Lou sniffled, “But Grandma’s gonna be worried. My parents are probably wondering where we are by now! We’ve been gone a long time.”

“I know Grandma’s looking for you, too. We’ll get y’all back together. It’s real quiet out here. Nobody would hurt you.” Lynn’s mother smiled reassuringly. “Go rest on the sofa while Lynn gets the baby to sleep.”

Lou sat on the sofa and dozed off to the creaking of the rocker. She wasn’t deep into sleep when she heard Grandma humming, “You are My Sunshine” like she’d done ever since Lou was born. She kissed Lou on the forehead and said “Goodnight, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite”

“Oh Grandma. I must have had a bad dream. I thought we out riding and got caught in a storm. I couldn’t find you! I was scared!”

“It’s okay, Sweetie. You know I’d never leave you. It wasn’t a dream. You got jolted back in time by that lightning. Let me give you a clue so you’ll know what I’m telling you is true. Before dark today, you’ll see a turtle with a big yellow X on its back. Be brave. I am coming for you, but it might be a while.”

Lou was startled awake by Lynn tapping her shoulder and giving her the quiet sign. “The baby’s asleep. Mother said we could walk up to Miss Betsy’s to see if your grandma’s there.”

They tiptoed out the door, then down the long gravel road. Lou felt so much better thinking about her dream. “Maybe we’ll find Grandma.”

“Sure we will!” Lynn answered, skipping and singing in a falsetto voice. “You are my Sunshine” as loud as she could. Lou laughed and joined in.

To be continued:

You Poor Baby

vintage baby
I had no idea Cousin Carol was four years older than my sister Phyllis till she announced her marriage. It sounded like a joke. Less than two weeks ago she’d spent the night with Phyllis. Sixteen was ridiculously young to get married, but back as late as the sixties, many parents felt it was expedient to allow their teenagers to marry. Her sister, Sue, and I were the same age. We were constantly at each other’s house for the night. Their brother, Troy, was the age of my brother, so on weekends, holidays, and in summer, there was always a jumble of kids spread between the two houses. Carol was extremely spoiled for some reason, though I could never imagine why her mother favored her. With her fair skin, black, curly hair and startling blue eyes she would have been very appealing had she not whined, wheedled, and cried till she got her way. At our house, she just pouted and whined. Of course, us younger kids went out of our way to keep her blubbering, since you didn’t usually see that in a girl that age, expecially rewarding since she wore gobs of makeup and we liked to see it run.

Back to the romance, Carol had been going to the picture show with her older sister Yvonne who was slipping around with Donald Duck.(not a joke) Yvonne brought a sweetie along for Carol and they really hit it off. The sister’s romance with Donald Duck fizzled, but within weeks Carol was to be a bride. The whole thing puzzled me. How could she go from being a kid with Phyllis to getting married in almost no time? Soon there was to be another miracle! Carol announced her first pregnancy. From that moment forward, I don’t think I ever saw her not pregnant, claiming to be pregant, or with a newborn. Before she retired from her thirty-year delivery service, Carol had eleven kids and claimed to have had God only knows how many pregnancies. Her first marriage, lasted only long enough to produce three children. She kept hoping to reconcile, so she had about a three year vacation from babying. She was terminally lazy and a rotten mother to boot, so she spent this time convalescing in her parent’s home in South Louisiana, where they’d moved not long after her marriage. She inveigled Aunt Julie’s cooperation in making use of my Cousin Sue as a captive babysitter. If someone else didn’t change the babies, they just sat squalling in sodden, filthy diapers. Her mom still gave over to her crying, whining, and wheedling, much to Sue’s sorrow. My aunt and Cousin Carol would dump the babies on Sue, taking off for hours, leaving instructions to have the house clean when they got back.

We had the misfortune have Cousin Carol land at our house a couple of times after brief attempts at reconciliation with her erstwhile husband. After a week or two of connubial bliss, he’d dump her and the dirty babies off, saying he’d be right back with milk for the babies. (Carol was a slow learner. It happened twice) That milk must have been on Mars since he never came back. Carol figured it out after an hour or two and started blubbering. The baby or babies helped with the crying, since they were hungry. Already furious at being stuck with unwelcome and unpleasant guests, Mother had to dig deep to find money for extra milk, knowing we were stuck with Carol and her squallers for a day or two till her folks could make the trip back up from South Louisiana to get her. Carol was lazy and worthless to start with. On her arrival, all the baby clothes and diapers were dirty. “Linda, change Bobby’s diaper and give him a bottle. You’ll have to put one of your Mama’s diapers on him. Mine are all dirty.” She wasn’t lying about that. She had dragged in a foul bag of diapers and left it on the front porch. I looked to Mother for rescue. Accustomed to being catered to, Carol was offended when Mother expected her to do her laundry and care for her own babies. “I’m sick! I feel an athsma attack coming on!”

“I’ve got two babies of my own and more than I can do. If you are going to stay here till your folks can pick you up, you’re going to have to take care of your own kids.” Carol pouted, but she got up to put a borrowed diaper on Bobby. Poor Bobby hadn’t seen many clean diapers lately. His poor, burned up bottom looked like raw meat. There was even pus running from one sore spot. “Oh no,” said Mother. “that poor baby. You’re going to have to keep him changed. He’s starting to get infected. Linda, go put my diapers on the line so Carol can get hers in the washer right now. This baby’s got to have clean diapers. Here, Carol, put some of this medicine on his bottom.” Grudgingly, Carol washed, medicated, and diapered poor Bobby’s sore bottom.

Unaccustomed to such ill-treatment, Carol angrily dragged the stinking bag of diapers from the front porch, all through the house, to the kitchen eventually reaching the enclosed back porch to Mother’s washer, leaving a malodorous wet-diaper ammonia stream. Furiously, she pulled a mess of heavy, filthy diapers from the mix, dumping them in the washer. Turning it on, she left the rest hanging out of the open bag to perfume to back porch. The stench was pulled into the kitchen by the attic fan till Mother told her she’d had to put the rest in the backyard to wait. Only when the washer stopped did Mother realize Carol hadn’t bothered to rinse the well-seasoned lumps of poop from those diapers. It was all waiting for Mother when she opened the lid. She was critical!

To be continued

Growing Up During Farm Life: A Brother’s Experience

When my brother was a growing up, Daddy had him out working all summer and every Saturday, bush hogging, piling brush, whatever he could think of that Bill could do to relieve his own work load. The fact was, Daddy had bought a farm and bitten off more than he could chew. He laid out a day’s work for Bill every day he wasn’t in school.

Don’t worry. Daddy didn’t neglect me. As often as not, Daddy set me to work right along with Bill. The Louisiana heat was and is miserable. Daddy kept Mother stretched to the max going for tractor parts, transporting power saws to and from the shop, picking up feed from the feed store. That left me to get meals on the table, and do “women’s work” while she was on the road. That meant, the house had better be clean and the TV off.

I digress, the point of the story it. Bill had to be working every day. Poor boy. He’d sweat so much even the insoles of his shoes were soaked through. He only had one pair of work shoes, so they never dried. During this period, the younger girls acquired a cute little lap dog. They made him a tiny bed in which he stored his little puppy treasures. Late one afternoon, Bill was recuperating from his labors and stripped off his socks, dropping them on too of his sweaty shoes. The little dog streaked over and snitched a sock for his treasure trove. Apparently it was too rank for him. In half a minute, he was back, returning the offending sock.

Lou and Lynn Part 2 Adventure to Find Grandma

“I still need to find Grandma.” Lou remembered, reaching for her backpack. “Oh no! I left my phone in my backpack. How can I call Grandma, now? Can I use your phone?” she asked, reaching out to Lynn.

“We don’t have a phone. The lines don’t reach this far out in the country. When Mother has to use the phone she goes to Mr. Jones’s store and pays him fifteen cents.

“Your grandma is probably up at the house with Mama, anyway. There’s nowhere else to go, It’s a mile to the nearest neighbor.” Lynn bounced up and pulled down an old bag swing attached to a rafter. She gave a huge push and raced high up the hay. “Swing it again!”

Lou pushed it hard. Then again. Lynn and hopped onto the swing at its peak, her legs wrapped tightly. The pack of dogs went wild barking and snapping at the swing as it skimmed over their heads. Lynn flew high enough to kick the top of the open doors, scoring an exciting ride till it fizzled to a stop.

Jumping off, she shouted. “Your turn! Climb up on the hay!”

Climbing the hay was the easy part. Lou’s head almost touched the tin roof of the barn. The rain pounded just above my head. Lynn pushed the swing till it gained enough height for me to jump on it. The dogs anxiously waited for their turn to jump at her.

“I’m scared! If I miss, I’m a goner!” Lou complined.

“We do this all the time! You’re not gonna fall…..and if you do, you’ll probably land on a dog.” assured Lynn.

That made sense. There were dogs to spare. As she swung higher and higher, Lou grabbed the rope, held her breath, and jumped, wrapping her legs tightly. Wild horses couldn’t have pulled her off. That leap was the biggest thrill of her life. Laughing hysterically, she kicked the top of the barn doors wishing she could fly forever. Lynn pushed Lou over and over, then jumped on with her. The dogs joined in the fun, chasing and barking.

Though Lynn is lots of fun, Lou didn’t forget she needed to find Grandma as soon as the rain stopped.

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A Patient’s Fishing Trip: An Unexpected Tale

Hemodialysis treatments typically lasted four hours when I worked in the hospital as a dialysis nurse. I knew many of my patients quite well since it was not uncommon for them to have occasional admissions. Sometimes, we had time to visit once their treatment was in progress. One of my patients, Joe, told me an unforgettable story. A brittle diabetic, he was struggling with failing vision, as well as kidney failure. Hoping to cheer him up, his mother took him fishing. Instead of putting their catch on a stringer, Mama just tossed their fish in a five-gallon bucket of water in the edge of the lake. When they got ready to go home, they put the bucket on the floorboard behind the back seat of their vehicle. Mama was driving, Joe, her passenger, had his arm stretched across the back of the bench seat. Out of the blue, Mama screamed, “Snake! Snake!”, screeched to a halt, and abandoned poor Joe to the snake which had caught a ride in the bucket of fish.

Somehow, the poor sightless man managed to get himself out of the vehicle without his terrified mother’s help. She wouldn’t come near the car with the snake in it. Providentially, a Good Samaritan came to his aid. He never mentioned the outcome with the snake. That story gave me nightmares!

You Used to Be Beautiful!

Kathleen Holdaway in flowered dress0002One warm afternoon in late May, 1960, Billy and I were lying on the living room floor as Mother reclined a few minutes with her feet up wearing the heavy surgical weight stockings the doctor had ordered. She was six months into a difficult pregnancy with her last child,and was supposed to be off her feet. She had spent a good portion of the morning tying to keep an eye on her fourteen-month-old, Connie, while trying to coax twelve-year old Phyllis and me at ten to do a little housework, help with Connie, and even get a little work out of seven-year-old Billy, while keeping him out of trouble. Phyllis was watching Connie. We were all terminally lazy, slacking off at the first excuse. None of us had any intention of doing anything we could avoid.

As we dawdled at her feet on the floor in the draft of the attic fan, one of us pulled out an old photo album. I quickly found a picture of her made her senior year of high school, the peak of her youth and beauty. “I graduated thirteen years ago today,” she remarked smilingly.

In my infinite wisdom, I proclaimed, “Oh Mother, you used to be beautiful!”

I turned for her smile, only to see a snarling, slobbering, swollen beast ready to pounce on me in rage! “”Used to be beautiful! Let’s see what you look like when you have five kids in twelve years! Put this stuff up, right now. Linda, you take your smart mouth and get those dishes washed. Phyllis, you put a pot of beans on for supper. Billy, you…”

By the way, this is not the picture in question. That one mysteriously disappeared

Nurses’s Hands

Nurse’s hands are not known for their beauty. More than likely, they are dry, being washed dozens of times a day. Frequent use of lotion can not keep these skilled hands supple and dewy. Nails are most often short, since longer nails interfere with the sensitive touch necessary to perform care. Longer nails are a detriment to gloves essential to protect both nurse, patient, and the environment.

Here you see a man’s strong hands that have cared for so many critically ill patients. Their strength gives no hint of the arthritis he endures daily as he cares for patients. His patients never know os of pain.

This is my hand with its square palm and short ringless fingers. Even though I’ve been retired for years, I find longer nails interfere with my daily tasks. My hands cared for countless patients and charted thousands of words.

This young nurse’s hands are remarkable for their youth and beauty, showing her recent manicure. Nevertheless, as I watched her at work, I was grateful to see her compliance with gloving and handwashing. She professionally and expertly administered my immunizations.

A compassionate nurse comforts an aged patient here. That may be the strongest medicine she has to offer. Many times I sang or talked to my comatose patients, not knowing whether or not I was heard. Numerous times, I’ve had a dying patient call me “Mama.” I never corrected them, thinking perhaps they were seeing Mama.