Oh No!

My delightful friend, Becky, shared a story about her simultaneous introduction to the birds and bees and graphic language. At the tender age of four, she was playing with little Jimmy next door. He showed her his prize package and asked to see hers. She thought it was weird and wanted no part of “it.”

After showing her his big news, he told her. “When you show somebody your penis, you are f—-ing!”

His mother got suspicious and showed up just in time to hear that.

She tore into her son and told Becky. I’m gonna tell your grandma what y’all were doing.”

The child was the type who preferred to tell on herself rather than have the neighbor tell on her. She rushed in crying to her grandma.

“Jimmy’s mama is gonna tell on me!”

“Why?” queried Grandma. “What did y’all do?”

“We were f—-ing.” shied boo-hooed.

Assuming the little ones had actually done the deed, Grandma went ballistic without investigating. She tore into the Becky and confined her to her room.

When Becky’s mom got home from work, Grandma met her at the door with the awful news.

Mom talked her down, telling her hey needed to talk to Becky. Happily, the situation was quickly cleared up and they learned there was nothing to worry about, except to make sure Becky knew not to play show and tell.

Sex Education in the ‘50s

I learned all this valuable information back in the 1950’s with absolutely no sex education! Probably until about the time I started school, I thought when people wanted a baby, they went to the hospital and picked one out from a collection there. Those that were not chosen grew up to be doctors and nurses.  

The sex of the baby was determined by the way the parents dressed it and fixed its hair.

After I noticed pregnancies, I drew some conclusions. The  unborn baby breathes through the mother’s naval.  If she submerged, it will suffocate.

Before I found out about sex, I thought women had babies because they had breasts, sort of like, “which came first, the chicken or the egg?”

When a friend enlightened me on the “facts of life,” I didn’t believe her.  I told “That’s stupid!  Nobody would do THAT!”