She Ain’t Got on No Panties!

First Grade School Picture

First Grade School Picture

 

I just loved Katie, Mother’s first cousin, though she only visited once, even naming my only daughter for her. Maybe that will make up for this horrible story I’m about to tell. Katie and Glenn came by for a few days after visiting my grandparents in Texas. Like all three-year-olds, I assumed they were my exclusive guests. Glenn was overshadowed by the lovely, Continue reading

Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 4)

fishing girlInez was good company, but didn’t worry much about germs. It kind of bothered Mother when she wiped the baby’s nose with the dish towel and then put it back in the dish pan. After that Mother told Inez not to bother with the dishes. She knew Inez was tired and needed a nap. Mother didn’t like it much when she let the twins run around without Continue reading

Footloose and Fancy Free (Part 3)

breastBobo’s old truck rattled in one Saturday about four. White-headed kids in overalls piled out of the back, their bare feet kicking up a dust. Fishing poles dangled out of the truck bed. Grinning, Bobo slung a stringer of bream over his shoulder. Inez slid out of the front seat, wagging a newborn and helping her twin toddlers slide to the ground. One was diapered, Continue reading

Footloose and Fancyfree (Part 2)

Even though the occasion of Bobo and Inez’s marriage preceeded my birth by a few days, Mother has told me the story so often, I feel I was there. Bobo showed up with his bride just hours after they married. No doubt, he was proud of her. He was twenty-seven; she, fifteen and visibly pregnant. Now, he’d be arrested. Quite a buxom lass, she was lovely. Continue reading

Footloose and Fancy-Free (Part 1)

Boba and kids

Cousin Bobo was footloose and fancy-free, unperturbed by the economic responsibilities of four children in three years. He doted on his child-bride, Inez, living quite happily with her and their family in an old unpainted, farm house on her mama’s place. Despite his aversion to a regular work schedule, he and Inez managed fine. There was no power to the house, so no bills, the wood stove and fireplace sufficing for heat and cooking. The house was abandoned when they moved in, so he tacked wire over the open windows to keep varmints out, shuttering the windows for bad weather. Mama was real proud he did the right thing and married Inez, so she wasn’t about to stir up trouble, especially after the young’uns started coming. Bobo plowed and planted Mama’s garden, later helping get the peas picked and corn cut. Except for the few days he spent plowing, and cutting firewood, he fished and hunted every day. He happily peddled watermelons and turnip greens out of his old ’49 Ford Truck. They never ran short of game or fish. Sometimes he’d help a neighbor butcher a beef or hog, bringing in extra meat. He wasn’t averse to helping family with a little painting or carpentry work from time to time, as long as it was understood that his labor included a few days’s hospitality for his family. He kept Mama’s freezer full. That along with Mama’s chickens and eggs, the cow’s milk and butter kept them going just fine. Getting clothes for the kids wasn’t a challenge. Inez was the youngest of six spectacularly fertile sisters. Their cousin’s hand-me-downs were plentiful. All those little blonde tykes lined up in overalls year round was awe-inspiring. Most of the time, they wore shirts under their overalls in winter. Plenty of old tennis shoes lay casually around, should any of the kids decide they needed footwear. Some even had mates. Size wasn’t an issue. Should a shoe be too big, it worked fine to slide-style and let it flop. The kids weren’t partial to shoes anyway, unless they were picking around in a trash dump with old cans or broken glass. Strings were scarce, but I never noticed anybody complaining.

I loved it when Bobo, Inez, and the kids showed up. Mother wasn’t always so enthusiastic, figuring they had run out of groceries and needed a place to roost for a few days. They did seem more likely to show up in bad weather, when a warm house was helpful. Sometimes they’d stay a few days with this relative, a few with that one, moving one before the tension got too thick. Mother complained about relatives giving them gas money to help them down the road to their next hosts.  I know I saw her slip Inez a little of her grocery money once, after Daddy went to work.  They moved on.  We ate gravy and biscuits till Daddy got paid the next Thursday.

to be continued

Order Anything You Like, Chubby!

Mother at BreakfastI took Mother for her routine checkup this morning.  Her heart, lungs, vital signs, and weight were perfect.  In fact, at one hundred twenty-seven pounds, she weighs one pound less than when she married.  She’s in great shape for a sixty-year-old, absolutely phenomenal for a lady well-past eighty.  She’d had to fast for her lab, so she was ravenously hungry.  I pulled in to the nearest restaurant to get her some breakfast, in the interest of survival.  I think I have mentioned before, she is very tight, as well as Continue reading

Don’t Let Me Catch You!

 

 

First Grade School Picture

First Grade School Picture

Tommy got me in a lot of trouble.  Oh, not the usual boy and girl trouble you’re thinking of.  Three years older and much worldlier, he fed me jokes like a gambler shoveling quarters in a slot machine.  Most of the time, they sailed right over my head, but Tommy made it clear theses were high humor and bore repeating.  By the time I was six, I was Continue reading

Are You Healthy Enough for…You Know?

motherAnother story about my mother, who at eighty plus is always up for a laugh. We recently visited her cardiologist for a routine checkup. She’s been seeing him for years. Noticing a few gray hairs, she studied him seriously. “Can you recommend a good cardiologist?” Continue reading

If Men Had Babies

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Daddy loved going to doctors and taking medicines.  He walked through one morning as Mother’s friend mentioned she was seeing Dr Bert Mason, praising him to Mother. Upon hearing this recommendation of a doctor he had no experience of, his ears perked up.  Pondering Shirley’s recommendation as he went about his business, he did a total body assessment, trying to determine what imperfect body part might be most in need of attention.  Like most people over forty, at any time he could likely zero in on problem or two.  His knee was cranky, uncomfortable in foul weather.  Seasonal allergies were an ongoing problem.  Indigestion was a common visitor.  Maybe he should see Dr. Mason. He made a note to have mother call for an appointment when he got back in the house.

Two weeks later, they hurried in to the doctor’s office.  He settled in while Mother registered him.  They were the first ones to be seen after the lunch break.  As they waited, a couple of patients joined them.  In less than five minutes, the nurse called out, “Billie Swain?”  He was surprised to be called Billie, but followed her into the bowels of the clinic.  As Mother waited, the room quickly filled with patients.  Before long, Mother notice a commonality.  The patients were all women, mostly obviously pregnant, or nursing newborns.  Realizing there was nothing to be done, she settled back, looking forward to Daddy’s reaction to his visit with Dr. Mason, M.D., OB/GYN.

Within minutes, Daddy slipped out the door in the rear of the waiting room, signaling as he made his way out the door, hoping to escape notice.