Annie, our surly Dalmatian with gastrointestinal issues was not only a pooping housebreaker (see link below), she was a wedding crasher.  We knew the Craig’s across the street were hosting a wedding, so made a point to give Annie had plenty of time to spend in our yard to conduct business before their guests started arriving at one-thirty in the afternoon. In the interest of being good neighbors, we’d even made a last minute inspection of their yard before the guests arrived, just to make sure she hadn’t left an unwelcome “wedding gift.”

Alerting the family to keep her incarcerated, the whole family was on alert.  Annie was a lazy dog, normally content to sleep the afternoon away, snoring stertorously.  Apparently, the party traffic was disturbing.  She spent her afternoon whining at the back door, dancing with her legs crossed, claiming she had to pee.  We took her out on her leash a time or two, but she came up dry while attempting to escape to the party across the street.  All went well until a neighbor kid came bursting in our back door, releasing Annie just as the wedding party exited the house across the street.  Bowels urgently loaded, she streaked over to join the fun.  In all the excitement of tossing the bouquet, she escaped the crowd’s notice as she laid a prize-winning turd a few feet behind the gaggle of bridesmaids vying for the bouquet.  One of the more top-heavy ones slipped in her offering,  bringing the rest down like a bunch of bowling pins.  Annie scored a perfect strike!  I could have sworn I heard shouts of “Dog-S–T!” rising above that bevy of pastel Southern beauties.  I guess their mama’s didn’t raise them right!

 

Coming up next:  Annie is accused of murder.  Human skull found in our neighborhood and Annie found with detached arm!

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