Years ago, my friend Judy invited me to drop by for a visit the day after Christmas. When I arrived, I found her draping wet laundry around her kitchen and wiping away tears. She wasn’t crying about her dead dryer.

On Christmas Eve, she and her husband were helping her recently married son and his wife prepare dinner in their new home when her son said, “Why don’t you let Mom fix the gravy, Bev. She knows how I like it.”

In response, Bev burst into tears and said to Judy, “I’m sick of hearing about your perfect Christmases, your perfect cooking, your perfect dinners. Why don’t you go home? Here, take my car. I’m sure you’ll drive it perfectly.” Then she grabbed her keys, threw them at Judy and ran from the house, leaving an open-mouthed family, a half-cooked turkey and a doomed merry little Christmas behind.

“I felt…

For instance, Stephen King books. I wouldn’t want to live in a Steven King book.

Top 10 Best Old Age Jokes
#10

Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, “You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?”

“Oh yes,” said her friend. “My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; ,my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I’m married to an undertaker.”

Her friend asked, “What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?”
“One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go.”
#9

A retired gentleman went to apply for Social Security.

After waiting in line for hours, he finally arrived at the counter. The woman behind the counter asked for his identification to verify his age and, after looking in his pockets, he realized that he’d left…

Many years ago, I had a Cousin Mavis, who’d inherited a really nice farm, together with her brother Beau, in an idyllic mountain valley.  She married Lloyd who greatly admired her farm.  They had a daughter, Sally.  Mavis quickly took issue with her husband’s carousing and tossed him out.  Quite willing and able to take care of herself, she continued to live happily on her farm with her brother Beau and Sally.  Beau did the majority of the farm work while Mavis taught school and kept the house running,   The three of them had a good life together, bumping along quite satisfactorily.  Beau never married though he was happy to keep company with a widow lady, saying, “No house was big enough for two women.”  In truth, I’m sure he felt he already had a wonderful homemaker who shared his expenses, a doting niece, and a prosperous farm he…