Oh No!

My delightful friend, Becky, shared a story about her simultaneous introduction to the birds and bees and graphic language. At the tender age of four, she was playing with little Jimmy next door. He showed her his prize package and asked to see hers. She thought it was weird and wanted no part of “it.”

After showing her his big news, he told her. “When you show somebody your penis, you are f—-ing!”

His mother got suspicious and showed up just in time to hear that.

She tore into her son and told Becky. I’m gonna tell your grandma what y’all were doing.”

The child was the type who preferred to tell on herself rather than have the neighbor tell on her. She rushed in crying to her grandma.

“Jimmy’s mama is gonna tell on me!”

“Why?” queried Grandma. “What did y’all do?”

“We were f—-ing.” shied boo-hooed.

Assuming the little ones had actually done the deed, Grandma went ballistic without investigating. She tore into the Becky and confined her to her room.

When Becky’s mom got home from work, Grandma met her at the door with the awful news.

Mom talked her down, telling her hey needed to talk to Becky. Happily, the situation was quickly cleared up and they learned there was nothing to worry about, except to make sure Becky knew not to play show and tell.

Ascending into Heaven with Elijah and Big Three Firsts

ElijahThe picture above stimulated the first mystical experience of my life.  One of three first experiences in a twenty-four hour period for me.  Quite a record for a six-year-old I’d say, not to mention, my future husband was linked to one of them.  My mother and her dear friend Mildred who’d just learned to drive, decided one cold evening when their husbands were at work they’d like to drive over and spend the evening with Mildred’s sister, Mary, who many years later was fortunate enough to become my mother-in-law.  While we were there Susie, Miss Mary’s prissy big girl, showed us little kids the glorious pictures in the big family bible, complete with terrifying stories of angels, devils, fire reigning down on Sodom and Gomorrah, and Adam and Eve being cast out of Eden.  It was awesome.

Long after dark, we started home.  Naturally, all the kids immediately fell asleep as soon as the car got warm and dark.  The next thing I knew, I saw blazing lights as we whirled around.  I realized immediately we were ascending into heaven in a whirlwind of fire but I wasn’t to happy about it!  Howling kids were tossed all over the car.  It turned out to be a far less heavenly experience.  We’d been hit by a drunk driver but somehow escaped serious injury or a trip to heaven.  The last thing my mother told me the next morning was not to tell my class that Johnny Jones daddy got drunk and hit our car.  I had no idea it was Johnny’s daddy who’d hit our car

I had my next new experience first thing the next morning at school.  I was the first up at our class’s first and last Show and Tell the next morning.  I had a black eye to Show and plenty to Tell.  Despite Mother’s warning, I felt the first grade really would be interested to know Johnny Jones’s father got drunk and hit our car.  Miss Angie made me hush and sit down.  We never had Show and Tell again, ever.  Johnny Jones and I got in a fight at recess.  We had to sit in the hall.  The third first for me.

Just Jot It January – Pingback Post and Rules