Tombstone in the Bedroom

Cousin Kat  (Kathleen) was proud of being “conservative.”  To the rest of us, it looked a lot like stingy.  When it looked like her mama might be considering dying, it just so happened, Dan Walter’s Funeral Home and Monument Company was going out of business.  She talked him down till she got a real nice headstone for Mama and a beautiful double headstone for her husband Grover and herself.  Now, as much as she paid for that headstone, she meant to get some enjoyment out of it while she lived.  She had the men inscribe it with both hers and Grover’s birth dates and deliver it to her home.  She set it up in her bedroom at the foot of her bed, where she could admire it.  She brought all her guests in to see it, enjoying it to the maximum.  Grover was a spoil sport.  He said it gave him the creeps, waking up during the night to see that thing staring at him.  He moved it to the cellar, putting Cousin Kat to the trouble of taking her guests there to admire it.  He died in a couple of years taking the nice stone to the cemetery with him.  All her company still had to go see it, but now it involved a nice little walk up the hill to the cemetery.

32 thoughts on “Tombstone in the Bedroom”

  5. Linda,
    Thanks for this story. There used to be a writer whose writing I loved when I was in school- William Saroyan and also another – James Thurber. Your stories are reminiscent of theirs. I love to read your blog when I am feeling down in the dumps. It gets me smiling in a jiffy.
    Susie

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  8. Oh my!!! That is hilarious! Well, I suppose she got her money’s worth… but her poor hubby! Bless! It takes some odd types to make the world go round, I guess… Me? No tombstone, please! Just cremate me and scatter me someplace where I was once happy. That’s enough remembrance as I need!

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  9. You’re a born storyteller, Ibeth. This one is pretty good, although morbid though. Imagine having a tombstone in one’s bedroom. It would freak me out too. Cousin Kat was so blasé about death. Are your stories about your real family Ibeth?

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    • Everyone, unless they are neighbors or friends. I stick to experience unless I label them jokes. We all have great stories, if we just notice. I am trying to save them for my family.

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  10. Yep, this is really creepy. When we engraved the headstone for my father’s grave, my mom said, it would be easier to engrave her data as well. I looked at her, shaked my head and asked her to also give me her date of death in order to make it easier!

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