A dear friend of mine who had a glass eye told me this joke. He thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever heard. If you’re feeling sensitive, please don’t judge me. Just don’t read any further.
Charley wasn’t entirely socially comfortable about his new eye. Times were hard during the depression. He’d had to whittle and paint it himself, so it wasn’t the best. His buddies were trying to get him to ask the girls to dance on Saturday night. He kept putting it off, dreading being turned down. Finally he got his nerve up, noticing a young lady standing off to one side, she was lovely, but clearly shy, since she kept covering her harelip with her hand when she smiled.
He decided to take a chance, thinking all she could do was say no. He sidled up, asking if she’d like to dance.
She was thrilled, “Would I? Would I?”
Stunned, he retorted, “Harelip! Harelip!”
So often we are listening so hard to what we think, we can’t hear others!
Nutsrok 
:-D Arww shame!
Here’s another:
Paddy has had a glass eye for ages. One day, his best friend, who is a neurosurgeon, tells him of a new procedure of transplanting eyes. Paddy is very excited about this; and the wait for a donor begins, but the list is long.
One day Paddy is driving along the winding country road when a red Ferrari zooms past him at breakneck speed. Paddy, a bit unnerved, hits the brakes but recovers quite quickly and continues on his way. Two turns further he comes across the same Ferrari totalled against a tree. He stops and gets out to take a closer look, and realizes the driver is dead.
After recovering from his initial shock, Paddy remembers his friend the surgeon and the procedure. He looks around, but it is Sunday and the road is really deserted, so he quickly takes out his pocket knife, carefully removes the guy’s eye, wraps it in his clean hanky, and for good measure, takes out his glass eye and pops it into the dead man’s eyesocket. Even the shade corresponds – they won’t know. He pockets the live eye and makes off to hospital as fast as he dares to drive, alerting his friend en route.
The neurosurgeon is waiting for him at the door, and he is instantly wheeled in and prepared for theatre. Two hours later he comes too but his eyes have been blindfolded. His friend the doctor informs him that the blindfold will come off the next morning, but that the eye must rest for now.
The next morning comes, and they remove the blindfold. It’s like magic! The eye works! Paddy for the first time in many years enjoys binocular vision. He easily completes the exercises his surgeon friend gives him to test the eye’s functionality, and everything is operational. The doctor tells him that he needs to read something to check if he gets migraines, and hands him that morning’s paper. Paddy browses through it until he finds this headline:
“Police flummoxed. Driver with two glass eyes dies crashing his car.”
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ROFL :-) and oldie but a goodie
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Thanks. I was worried I would be ostracized.
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What a pair!!!!!!! fited perfectly…
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Thanks
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a terrible joke but AGAIN one of my dad’s favorites!! You always manage to conjure up a memory for me. Thanks!
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You know I love the old stuff, too!
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Every one wants to have fun. :o
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Aw, funny – in a sad, painful kind of way.
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this joke has been around for a long time. I still chuckle when I hear it. :-) thanks for sharing.
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