Dear Auntie Linda,  My husband is always late.  Most of the time he won’t even start to get ready until about fifteen minutes before we are due to leave.  We are always at least thirty minutes late leaving the house.  By that time, he is mad, blaming me for his lateness, then drives like a maniac trying to make up lost time.  We haven’t gotten any place on time in years.  We are always late for church, meetings, dinners with friends, weddings, funerals, trooping in long after everyone else.  I have tried setting the clocks ahead, reminding him what time we are due, and even changing the time we are due, hoping to get ahead of him.  I always have to wait, while he dresses and throws a fit.  I could deal with always being late if I didn’t have to put up with his fit-throwing and crazy driving.  I am afraid he will kill us one day.  It’s not like I can always drive myself.  We live in a rural area and I have night-blindness.  What can I do?  Punctual Paula

Dear Punctual,  People who are chronically late are disrespectful and self-centered, feeling their time is more important than anyone else’s.  From the behavior you are describing, your husband has no reason to change.  He apparently has no problem being late, especially since he has you to blame.  I suggest you refuse to go if he isn’t ready on time.  He will probably throw a fit, which it sounds like he is doing anyway.  You can’t change him.  All you can do is change your response.  Auntie Linda

Dear Auntie Linda,  I just got engaged to Jenny, a beautiful girl from a small town about twenty miles from where I live. It was love at first sight.  I’ve never fallen for anybody that way.  A few weeks ago, she found out she was pregnant.  We were delighted since we planning to get married, anyway.    I brought her home to meet my family.  As soon as my dad talked to Jenny about her family and life, he called me outside.  It turns out, Jenny is his older brother’s daughter.  (They don’t have the same last name, so Jenny’s mother never connected it.)  Jenny’s mother married another man, so Jenny has never said that her  parentage might be in question.  What in the world do I do?  I haven’t told Jenny or anyone else yet.  What in the world do I do?  Worse than Kissing Cousins

Dear Worse,  First of all, talk to Jenny.  She needs to know the whole story.  Just because your father thinks Jenny is his niece, doesn’t make it definite.  These things have been confused before.  DNA testing should give you some answers. It wouldn’t hurt for both of you to be tested.  Though most of us know who our mothers are, we are less sure of our fathers.  Once you know what is going on, you can seek medical and legal advice.  Hope for the best.  Don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater, so to speak.  Auntie Linda

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