On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink –
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. (duh!)
On a New Zealand insect spray –
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer –
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM
UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Make sense…except these instructions we’re IN THE BOX!)
In some countries (like W. Virginia:), on the bottom of Coke bottles –
OPEN OTHER END.
On a Sears hairdryer –
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
( Now THAT I’d like to see! )
On a bag of Fritos –
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap –
DIRECTIONS – USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
(And that would be how?)
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on BOTTOM of the box)
* DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
(oops…Too late! You lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding –
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
(Are you sure? Let’s experiment.)
On a Korean kitchen knife –
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights –
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
(As opposed to what…use in outer space?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts –
INSTRUCTIONS – OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I’m sure glad they cleared that up.)
On a Swedish chainsaw –
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
(What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?)
On a child’s superman costume –
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
That’s right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
Nutsrok 
You are an angel. Where does the name Lafayette Angel come from?
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Some idiot had to have caused this one: most curling irons warn “FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY”….
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What a horrible picture that brings to mind!
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Those Swedes…a tough bunch ! Ouch. These were great. Thanks for the laughs. ☺
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Funny! I like the coke one :P
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So glad.
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Oh wow, you do find some really funny pearls out there!
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So glad you enjoyed them.
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Ha Ha! These are so funny. especially the chain saw one!! :-)
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Brings a terrible picture to mind, doesn’t it?
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Yes it does! :-)
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Awesome post
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Thanks, Donna.
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Those are all hilarious, Linda. There seem to be more and more senseless warnings on products. When we bought Cody a baby wading pool (3 feet wide and 18 inches deep), it had affixed to it a sticker showing a person jumping off a diving board, with an X through the image. Really? Into 18 inches of water? Ouch.
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Don’t have too much faith in us, do they Cordelia’s Mom? I’ll bet Cody knew just what to do. My son bought some kind of toy gun from China. Had instructions, “Don’t point at creature.”
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My husband particular likes the small print on the peanut butter label: “May contain peanuts.”
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That’s encouraging when it’s peanut butter. I’ve have hamburgers I was suspicious off.
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