A guy goes to a girl’s house for the first time and is feeling a bit ill at ease, so he reaches over and fiddles with an odd vase while he’s standing there. 

He says “What’s this?”

She says, “Oh, my father’s ashes are in there.”

He says, “Jeez…oooh….I…”

She says, “Yeah, he’s too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray.

A little boy was stirring a bucket of manure and water together.  A fireman came by and asked, “What are you doing, little fellow, making manure pies?”

“Nope, A fireman,” he replied.

“Ah ha ha!”  laughed the fireman, and watched as a policeman walked up.

“What are you making, little guy, manure pies?” The policeman asked.

“Nope, A policeman,” and the little boy.

“Ah ha ha!” laughed both the fireman and policeman and waited as a cowboy walked up.

“What are you doing, buddy, making manure pies?” he asked.

“Nope.  Making a fireman and a policeman,” he explained.

The cowboy laughed hysterically and the fireman and policeman pulled long faces.

“Now wait a minute?” said the fireman and policeman.  “Why aren’t you making a cowboy?”

“Because I don’t have enough manure,” answered the little boy.