I think my big dog is breaking one of the commandments.  Do commandments apply to dogs?  He covets his neighbor’s wife.  When we are out walking and meet Ruth, he knocks himself out to get her attention.  When she brags on him in her special, doggy voice, his tail goes into overdrive.  I have to dance around out stay out of its way to  avoid bruises.  He pulls hard on his leash trying to get to her, I guess he’s thinking she’s the kind of girl who goes for bad boys. He does super deep, open-mouth breathing blowing hot air out of his gigantic mouth. It sounds for all the world like the deep breathing on the old-fashioned obscene phone calls that cellular phones ruined forever for perverts.  All the while, he’s dancing a four-legged jitterbug, the only time he moves that fast. At one hundred thirty- five pounds, he does serious damage connecting with your foot.  When all else fails, he bows up and deposits a giant poop before her before kicking up a dust cloud. Turning subtly, he peeks to see whether Ruth is impressed.  Sadly, she isn’t, striding off leaving clean up for me!  It wasn’t even my love offering! In truth, he’s like a lot of males past their prime. In truth, he is like a lot of males past their prime, flirting right along despite being overweight and  balding.