1. Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet? Right now the cops have nothing to go on…
2. Q: How are bodybuilders and plumbers alike? A: They both love pumping iron.
3. Q: What’s the one thing professional poker players and plumbers can agree on? A: A royal flush is better than a full house.
4. A plumber is the only guy I know who can take a leak and fix one too!

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves………?

Two rabbits were being chased by a pack of wolves. The wolves chased the rabbits into a thicket. After a few minutes, one rabbit turned to the other and said, “Well, do you want to make a run for it or stay here a few days and outnumber them?”

A rabbit is captured and taken to a medical laboratory to be used for experiments . . .

There, he befriends a rabbit who was born and raised in the lab. One day, he notices that the researchers didn’t latch his cage properly and he decides to make a break for it. He tells the lab rabbit how great it is on the outside and convinces him to come along.

First, the wild rabbit takes the lab rabbit to a field of lettuce and the two munch on lettuce to their hearts’ content. 

Wild rabbit then says “Let me take you to an even better field” and heads to a field of carrots where they munch contentedly on all the carrots they want.

Then wild rabbit says “Now let me take you to the best field of all” and takes lab rabbit to a field full of female rabbits. The rabbits enter the field and (you know what they say about rabbits) proceed to have sex all night long. 

At dawn the rabbits are exhausted and content and lab rabbit announces “Well, I’m heading back to the lab”

Wild rabbit says “Why??!!? I showed you the field of lettuce, the field of carrots and the field where you can have as much sex as you want!”

Lab rabbit says “Yeah, that was all great, but I’m dying for a cigarette

The Rabbit

A man with a hunting dog lived next door to a woman with a rabbit hutch in her backyard. 

One day, he came home to find his dog with the rabbit in its’ mouth, dead. The man was horrified but knew his dog would be sent away if the neighbors thought it was a danger to other pets. So he took the rabbits’ body, cleaned it off and placed it back in the hutch to make it appear as though the animal died of natural causes. 

The next week, he saw the neighbors’ husband return home and started up a conversation. “How is everything?” 

“Not good” said the neighbor- “My wife’s still in the hospital. She’s suffered a tremendous shock.”

“Oh no,” said the first man- “What happened?”

“Her rabbit passed away” said the husband.

“That’s terrible!” said the man. “I knew she loved him very much. She must’ve been heartbroken!” 

“Well,” said the husband “at first I thought she was doing OK. But then a couple days after we buried the rabbit someone dug it back up and put it back in the damn cage!”