Irish men were playing poker when one of them played a bad hand and died…

The rest drew straws to see who would tell his wife. One man draws the shortest straw and goes to his friend’s house to tell the wife.

The man says to her, “Your husband lost some money in the poker game and is afraid to come home.”

The wife says, “Tell him to drop dead!” The man responds, “I’ll go tell him.”

What’s the difference between God and Bono?

God doesn’t wander around Dublin thinking he’s Bono.

There are only three kinds of men who don’t understand women…

Young men, old men, and middle-aged men.

You don’t want to press your luck.

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke…

But the Scots haven’t got the joke yet.

The Irish way…

Now don’t be talking about yourself while you’re here. We’ll surely be doing that after you leave.